My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I am 23 and he is 25. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and everyday I think about how I am so happy to call him my husband. We are now trying to conceive our first baby and are so happy to be adding to our family.
The problem is people constantly feel the need to tell me I am stupid for marrying so young and even stupider to have a child at 23/24 years old. They think because I am young I will be bad mom, end up divorced or on welfare. Apparently 23 is like being 16 now a days.
Its so uncalled for because we own a home, have great careers and have college educations and we have enough money to have several children. Plus we are very happy together!
I hear a lot that I am naive and unmotivated for wanted to be a wife and mother before I turn 30. People are anti-marriage and children unless you are 30+!
How can I grow a solid backbone and stop being so sensitive when I am 100% happy with my life?
2006-11-09 08:35:49 · 16 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why worry about what other people say? I have the same problem, except in reverse....I'm 21 (soon to be 22) and people keep asking me when am I and my husband going to have children? The truth is we don't want to have children yet and I don't see how this is anyone else's business but mines and my husband's.
It's your life and your decision. Your decision isn't going to affect anyone else outside of your marriage and u have to realize that these people u speak of are only looking at the issues from their own experiences and it doesn't necessarily reflect on your own so, I suggest u let their comments in one ear, out the other.
2006-11-09 08:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you're saying. I was 22 when I got married and 23 when I had my child. I like being a young mother, and think that it was a good choice most of the time. However, once I hit my 30's everything that I wanted in my 20s was not what I wanted then, including the situation with my marriage. I married for different reasons that no longer really made sense to me at that time. So, while I would never change the great kid and the fact that I'll have a lot of good years to live after she goes off to college, I do understand why people wait until they are older to get married. I probably would have married a different person if I'd waited and have been happier with the marriage.
Just my 2 cents.
2006-11-09 10:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason, other people feel the need to be all up in other peoples business...and usually in a negative way. Most likely the people that are saying these things to you are jealous of your life. I think it is silly that they would say those things now that you guys have been married for a few years.... it isn't like you rushed into getting married and then having a baby right off the bat. Take comfort in the fact that you have a husband that loves you and you love him back. You also have great careers, a home, and financial stability. There is no reason for anyone to be telling you you are stupid for living your life the way you want to. My advice is: anytime someone says something stupid like that to you, just tell them that getting married, buying a home, and trying to conceive were the best decisions you have made for yourself and that they need to mind their own business. Just flat out tell them how you feel and that they should NOT be saying these things to you. If you guys feel it is the right time to start a family, you are the only ones that can make that decision and no one can tell you other wise! Your life is truly blessed, you know this....just think of that when all these insane people are negative towards you...
2006-11-09 09:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about what OTHER PEOPLE think. Apperantly they have nothing better to do with their time then to criticize you. If you and your husband are both set in your careers and are making good money, then go for it, it is your life NOONE ELSES!! I was 19 when I got married and I was 23 when I had my last child and I have 3. I have a career,I also have been divorced, but my kids and I are not sitting on welfare or anything of that nature, so please just do what makes YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY! forget everything else..
2006-11-09 08:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should stop being sensitive,, women like you are hard to find...... If these are your close friends, then just humor them, don't tell them so much about your plans... and just do it!
Just remember kids will change your marriage a quit a bit, so make sure you are ready for change. I'm a husband, so when my first kid came along, my ranking droped from #1 to number #2; now I have a 2nd kid and so I am now #3 on my wife's list!
So yeah, things will change..............
2006-11-09 08:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it comes with time,you see i am 26 with three children? my first i had when i was 17 and the relationship ended with his father 8 months later but a year later i found my true soal mate and true love in one person whom i have been with now for 7 years married for 5,i am 26 remember and i have had two children with my husbund,we are the same age but because we are yound have children fantastic fun loving exciting relationship i get a lot of jelousy with people whom i meet and think are my friends,the people who critisise you are jelouse of you and your husbund and you will always get people like this because your in a position that they want to be in and cant be in,my husbund and i at 26 years old have everything we want a beautifull home,new cars,boat,home theatre room a home gym in our home all the things that make people our own age envious as well as that i am also at university studying my second degree and my husbund is an excellent government well paid job and akl this at 26? you will never get rid of those people who will critisise you because if they dont do it to your face they do it behind your back and there is one way my husbund and i have overcome this we dont make friends we are happy together and we dont associate with other people any more because we dont want to be brought down just because they have less than us even though it doesnt matter to us but for some reason it kills the inside of others to know we are in abeter position,be happy with who you are and what you have and what you will have your not to young to have kids if anything i believe your starting to get to old to have children yes i was 17 with my first to young,but i had my next two at 23 and 25,now my family is complete
2006-11-09 09:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one pays your bills, you don't ask anyone for anything so you have the right to do what you think is right for the both of you. Even if you do end up on welfare, that is your business. It's not like its going to affect anyone else, its your life.
2006-11-09 08:48:58 · answer #7 · answered by kittypunx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You decide one day "I won't let if bother me" and you just stop letting it. Simple as that. It's a mind-trick you master- like if you ever think of something extremely horrible, and you quickly shut out the thought? You do the same when it comes to letting others' words upset you. Shut it down.
2006-11-09 08:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess they are jealous...no doubt u ve a perfect married life...what else can a wife ask---u ve a loving husband,no financial problems,good careers.....wherez the problem now?????? PEOPLE....common just ignore them...u wud be more than happy...u gonna be a gr8 mom for ur baby-to-be....just take care of ur health during pregnancy.....if u r feeling abt this...talk to ur husband..he ll definitely help u out by giving a boost to ur confidence levels.......have a wonderful life...may god bless u...life is short enjoy it to the fullest.......stop thinking abt such things.....go ahead....
2006-11-09 08:43:17 · answer #9 · answered by blue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
someone is always gonna find fault in what you do.....no matter how good a person you are......how great you are...kind,,,giving..ect. so if they arent in the circle of "love" that you &your husband have created then what does it matter what anyone thinks? where in your soul are they? so why waste your time on this.....on an opinion by someone whos not in your circle of love! see what im getting at?
2006-11-09 08:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋