Have messed up marriage bad. Any womenly advice.?

Question

Haven't listened enough to wifes needs. She says shes half and half on staying. I am trying to get her to stay because i love her with all heart and soul. What can i do now? I know she loves me and she is scared. Trying hard to be a better man. Any womenly advice? I truely love her like i have loved no other. lovesick

Answer 1

What is stopping u from giving her what she wants from u? Communication isn't just about talking. It's about active listening as well and maybe u haven't been a good listener and disregard her whenever she needs u to listen to her. It makes us women feel as though we are not important enough for u when men do this. Start giving her what she wants.

Answer 2

:) well, it's good that u are trying to own up to ur mistakes Now, better late than never right??

what u need to do is be open minded, first of all. next, find out how and what u can do to make sure your wife feels SAFE AND SECURE. she has to have the ability to Trust in you, that you will be there for her, that you will be able to take Care of her. if she loses that trust in you, then yeah, she will start looking elsewhere, u know?? there's nothing u can really specifically DO right now except COMMUNICATE with her, find out solutions together.

figure out what you expect from yourself...as a Man, as a Husband, and your Future. figure out what you expect from her.. as a Woman, as a Wife, and in the Future.

next, ask her what SHE expects from herself as a Woman, Wife and her future. then, what she expects from you as a Man, Husband, and the future.

if you agree and understand each other's expectations, u will be able to WORK on the marriage so that you can grow the Trust, Commitment, and Love. but if your expectations do not match hers at all, then u will have a rough time ahead of you.

Remember, marriage and love is not easy, it takes work! but the kind of work that is extremely important, and something to be Proud of. a sense of achievement, accomplishment, not annoyance or shirking of responsibilites. you have to continuously grow and strengthen your relationship, u cannot leave it stagnant or even let it sour... that is very dangerous and hard to get out of. as long as u know that you are willing to do ALL u can to fix things, and she accepts and is willing as well, u have a chance! when u give up, or she gives up, it will be too late, and u will be miserable.

good luck~

Answer 3

Well, you can start off by telling her what you have just left here. If you love her, and know you haven't taken her needs into consideration, she needs to know you see that. Honestly, there will be some work involved...you can't make all these wonderful promises and then go back to whatever it was you were doing before. If she is unsure, you need to make her sure. If she is willing to hear you out, you need to take that opportunity to get her to see that you know what you have done or not done....this is your chance to show her. If she hasn't left yet, that means she is waiting for you to do the right thing. There is hope for you yet....

Answer 4

at the starting up, do not take absolutely everyone'S suggestion on divorce or staying jointly, it is your determination, pay interest on your heart. till now I even examine it i presumed it develop into an prepared marriage, it form of feels he's not any longer fascinated in you likely? and also you've been both pushed into some thing you both did not elect, distinctly him possibly. attempt some issues, I propose a minimum of you do not 'squabble', attempt seducing him, dress up outstanding and make your self impossible to face up to, i'm no longer extremely particular what else to assert because a number of it form of feels you omit the actual aspect. he's clearly were given the dominate guy of the abode approach even as dealing with kinfolk concerns, don't be a push over and if he nonetheless ignores you, why no longer bypass and stay in a motel for an evening or 2, he might want to appreciate you regardless of if he's the guy of the abode. ultimate suggestion absolutely everyone might want to ever grant you with in my opinion? ... do not ask us, kinfolk or acquaintances, talk to him or perhaps better effective. tutor him what you've written about him right here, in case you're saying he listens then he might want to pay interest to this. best of success.

Answer 5

Well if you really love her like you say you do then you have a pretty good start. I don't know your exact situation but I think you two should be able to work things out, it might help to consult a therapist as they can help get to the root of the problem in a productive loving manner.

Answer 6

messed up how?What u don't listen to her,had affair? What! What ever the case is in a mariage love is not enough. It's about respect and being hosest on how u feel and the things u do. You say u love her like no other thats great. But do u love yourself like no other do u fear God ? There's a book called 10 stupid things couples do to mess up their relaytionship by Dr. Laura please read it then have her read it then read it together talk about it. I believe it will help u

Answer 7

Suggest therapy to her. Not so much for her but for you. Be up front on with your misgivings about your job so far as a husband. Be apologetic and go to counseling. To her your platitudes may sound like something you'll promise to change, be good for a few months and then revert back to your old self. This is something that needs intervention and immediately. Even if she doesn't want to go, go yourself and learn ways to be a better husband.

Answer 8

theres nothing broken that can't be fixed if people would learn to communicate, and feel completely safe with that person when baring their souls. she is scared because maybe she doesn't feel emotionally safe, maybe you have made her promises in the past you haven't kept. passive ways of showing someone they don't have control over u can never make for a happy marriage, they never show the other person who they really are, are u respecting her boundaries?honest communication always helps, communicate with love,and honesty.

Answer 9

I would say that you have to sit down and really talk with her, she is on the fence and can go either way, really talk, in fact let her talk, you may not like all that you hear, but let her vent, listen actively and really pay attention to her, don't try to fix her problems mid sentence, but wait until she is done. You may not be able to fix them all, but yes.. I am in a similar situation, but my husband hasn't figured it out yet, so I am hoping that by being able to help some one else, I can get my own feeling straightened out to be able to help my self

Answer 10

Bring her flowers, apologize sincerely. Key word: sincerely. Don't make promises you can't keep. Make plans together to spend some time working on your relationship.....dates, dinner, talks. Perhaps you should mention counseling or a couples retreat. Go away for the weekend to reconnect...surprise her with plans to somewhere she loves. Re affirm your love to her.....reaffirm your vows.