Lets just say that a girl I know got pregnant during a seperation period from her husband. Now knowing that the child is not his, she has led him to believe it is by altering due dates. She has even gone as far as demanding that they go to marriage counseling to make their family work. I don't know if I should intervene by telling him what she's up to. I know its not any of my business but I don't think its fair to him, especially if he really doesn't want to be there. He feels obligated due to his "responsibility". Any suggestions...or leave it alone?
2006-11-09 08:34:02 · 15 answers · asked by caasi2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Biological father is unaware that she is pregnant because according to current husband, he's a looser.
2006-11-09 08:40:55 · update #1
You're right, it's not fair to him at all. He should not be responsible for this child unless he is aware that the baby is not his and he still wants to take care of him/her. I would talk to your friend and tell her that she needs to come clean with him or you'll do it for him. What she's doing isn't fair for him, the biological father, or the child.
2006-11-09 08:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by lynnca1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the baby's health. The father and the baby need to know. Why? Because so much of our medical history - and therefore proper treatment is based on our biological parents. What if there's an RH factor with the biological father?
Now it isn't wrong of her to want to keep a marriage together. And going to counseling is actually a pretty good thing. But she needs to be honest, it should be her that tells him, and you can help her do that by letting her know that the further she's digs herself into this lie, the harder it's going to be to get out of it.
2006-11-09 08:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know most people are going to say to stay out of it, and logically thinking, I would say the same thing. BUT if was actually in your position instead of viewing this from a third person perspective, I know that I personally would clue him into the possibility. I wouldn't come right out and start accusing anyone of anything, but just tell him that you think something might be up, and that he may want to have a little chat with his wife.
2006-11-09 08:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find the other guy and tell him too..surprisingly most guys want to know.
You could also find a way to anonymously tell the husband-whether its a unmarked letter to where he works or however you can get the info to him without him knowing the source.
I think telling the real 'dad' and leaving notes will make someone confront the wh*re and she'll have to come clean.I also agree that you have to tell for the medical standpoint..
2006-11-09 08:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by sophia4470 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to let him know anonomously. If they split up, and they probably will if they have already been seperated and she was sleeping with someone else, he will end up paying child support for a child that is not his. Type a letter and put on his car or something.
2006-11-09 09:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a guy and i would want to know tell him but your probably going to lose a friend, but its better than the child being born and starting to grow up when the husband finds out and dosent want anything to do with the kid it will cause a lot more hurt then and your right its not fair to do that to sombody it sucks
2006-11-09 08:56:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit back and ask yourself this question......if this situation was happening to you would you really want to be the last to know...this isn't just about a puppy its a human being.....what if 5 years down the road he finds out and just leaves that child (think about the implications on a child who believes this is his/her father just leaving them) and the implications to this man.....i couldn't even imagine it. this woman is sick and wrong and IMO its your duty to tell him. (but remember he may lash out at you the whole kill the messenger etc.) good luck on your choice here......
2006-11-09 08:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by JUSTWONDERIN' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's a loser too! Maybe he'll figure it out on his own when the baby comes a "month" early and weighs 10 lbs!
2006-11-09 08:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by kristieblades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is really a good frind of urs u need to tell her to tell her husband the truth but if she is not a friend of ur spill the beans if i was a man and u knew my girls baby is not mine and u didnt tell me i wold be very mad at u for ot telling me so i say tell her to tell him or u will
2006-11-09 08:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by ms dextre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave it alone. Secrets such as this can't stay secret forever. Sooner or later the truth will be known.
2006-11-09 08:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋