I saw my fiance masturbating in the bathroom!! Real advice and help no jokes plz?

Question

I feel so used he hardly ever sleeps with me and i was watching him through a little peep hole in the bathroom and he was beating himself off.
Honestly should i feel bad about this like its me or is this behavior normal?

thanks for the mature answers everyone!!! my feelings are hurt. I wonder how long this has been going on for? I think masterbation is sexy too but not like this. I always give him what he wants and he hardly wants it he is 30.

Answer 1

A study that was conducted concluded that about 90% of all men masturbate. Men have a higher level of sexual desire and find masturbation as a good way to relieve those desires. Most married men will still masturbate. It does not mean that they do not love or are not attracted to their partner. Masturbation is easier to relieve their own sexual desire without having to worry about whether or not their partner was also pleased.

Answer 2

Dont feel bad, im not sure about how it works for women but guys dont really need to have a high sex drive to want to bash one out every now and then.. you would have more to worry about if he had a really high sex drive and he still chose to knock one off in the bathroom rather than with you... and as long as he's not doing it to pics of your friends then he hasn't done anything wrong either...

You need to talk to him.... I wouldnt come out and say that you were spying on him in the bathroom as i think a lot of people would get a bit pisst at that.. unless you pre-arranged a naughty session.

Perhaps mention that you thought that you heard him doing this in the bathroom, let him know that it made you feel a little hurt, and ask if there is any way that you've done to make not want to with you....perhaps he feels alittle too distant to ask you..

Don't be hurt by this but, the truth is that you can always do it better yourself.. sex is great, someone else doing it for you is brilliant, but every now and then you can't beat a bit of a manual... if you are honest remember when he does things for you; i hope he does, im sure there are times you think i wish you was a little to the left... well when you are by yourself you know exactly where,when and how hard to press.... doesnt mean its not great with him... and im sure a guy would be branded as big headed if he thought that he always had to be around for you to have a good time.

Dont be hurt! you could be the most beautiful women on the planet and he would still do it.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Men masturbate all through life in varying amounts. Often depending on the availability of a partner or a willingness of a partner to have sex. If he is choosing masturbation over sex with you then there could be several reasons; he is lazy, he wanted a quickie and did not want the complications getting your consent, getting you turned on, and investing the time, he just likes masturbation because of habit or experience. Do not feel bad you need to talk with him about this. Ask him if sometimes he prefers solo sex rather than heterosex and if so why. Don't be critical or defensive listen to what he has to say and tell him that on occasion you understand he wants just a quickie and you would love to be part of it. Assure him that sex with him is a delight and not an inconvenience. Counselling may also help here if he is willing. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think your answer lies in the Additional Details that you wrote: you always give him what he wants.

The masturbation itself is nothing to be worried about, really. But something seems to be bothering him, as he hardly sleeps with you.

My suggestion is, you do need to get to the point with him. Tell him gently that you know he masturbates and that you would love to be part of that at times. If he's not it for the talk, you need to tell him that you are a little worried about your sexlife, because you need that attention and the physical bonding with him.

He might have a deep probleem that he's scared to share with you. Maybe something that happened before you two met, or something that bothers him about th elifestyle you two are developping as a couple.

My ex had a problem that he did not dare to share with me, and I realized too late that I could have been there for him, if only I had not been so easily shocked.

Talk! But try hard to be understanding. The masturbation is not the problem. The problem is your shared sexlife.

good luck

Answer 5

Masturbation is a perfectly normal thing for men to do whether they have a steady sexual partner or not. Why do we do it? Because it just feels good. You say that your fiance hardly ever sleeps with you. Now this can be a bit of a problem. What's going in in your relationship that's making him not be interested in having sex? Is there some lack of communication? Some shyness about talking about sexual things? You and he need to talk about this part.

PS: Why were you peeping on him? That's not entirely fair.

Answer 6

I'd be really offended and abused if my partner spied through a hole in the wall while I was in the bathroom. It should be a private place.

That said, you should talk to him about why he prefers masturbation to sex with you. It could be you simply don't do it for him anymore. You may be able to resolve that by trying different things - is he into a fantasy scene that he can't share with you but can imagine when he's masturbating? Perhaps something you said you wouldn't do (swallow, tie up, whip whatever?).

You two may simply not be a match sexually.

Answer 7

It's certainly normal to masturbate, but perhaps he's not getting enough satisfaction from your lovemaking. He could also be sexually inhibited or even gay. Don't tell him you were peeking at him, whatever you do! Next time you make love, gently bring up a conversation about the frequency of your lovemaking and that it bothers you. Ask him if there's anything wrong. If he won't open up about it, then you should think very seriously about your engagement. Premarital counseling may be in order.

Answer 8

Most men don't do it because they aren't getting what they want in bed. Usually, it is just because men have been masturbating since they were boys, it has just become a normal part of their life. Men do it to relax if they are stressed, or to unwind after a hard day of work. Do NOT worry about this. It is perfectly normal for your husband to be doing this, it has nothing to do with you. Almost every guy masturbates.

Answer 9

It is perfectly normal to masturbate. It is not normal to look through peep holes. Do you pry in other areas of his life? Well - don't! There may be other things going on in his life that stress him out or make him too tired for sex. This way he does not have pleasure you as well...quick, a little selfish. I think you both need to go back into when the realtionship was fresh. When you both did other things together and enjoyed and supported each other, this should build your base up again and get things back on track.

Answer 10

If he dose it often on his own then he can hold out longer for youin bed. Encourage it. ask him dose he want you to do it for him or give him a ********.
It might be the pregnant thing could put him off if he doesn't want children yet. Could be that he feels he needs to improve for you or
he might be thinking about someone else he can't have.
Find out what it is, don't ask him cause he prob won't give you an honest answer. You aren't even married and the spice is gone? Is that a good start? tell him your not ready that your thinking about calling it off and read his reaction then you will know. stick with your gut. If he really wants you he will fight for you back.