Is it ok to marry someone you dont love...?

Question

but you can see yourself with that person for many years to come despite the lack of passion. Is passion just short lived?

Answer 1

many arranged marriage takes place without love - some grow to into a very deep and real love which will outlast the first honeymoon passion and some don't grow at all and crash. The first throws of passion are short lived and in its place comes a very deep and real love with a deeper passion that should last many years. The thing with arranged marriages is that they do have a potential to last longer because when you fight you are more willing to keep at it and not let any little thing get to you because you went into the marriage eyes open - there is nothing like love though so decide carefully because although some arranged marriages do grow into a great love and respect some become extremely lonely

Answer 2

Passion does not equal love across the board. There's the "passionate love" and the "companionate love"; they may or may not co-exist in the same relationship. You might not feel "passionate" about a person, and yet love him deeply - just ask any couple celebrating their golden anniversary. They didn't spend 50 years together because they felt "passionate" towards each other - most likely, the passionate stage ended long ago; it is the "companionate" love that kept them going. Google "passionate vs companionate love", there's some interesting psychological research on this subject.

I have had passionate relationships in the past, but none resulted in a long-term committment. My husband and I never really had a "passionate" stage, yet I feel deep love for him, and enjoy every minute we spend together; it seems like we jumped straight to the "companionate" stage - and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't want to "put down" passion, there's a time and place for it, and I'm glad I have experienced it. However, through these experiences I have come to believe that there are things that are more rewarding and long-lasting than passion alone.

Answer 3

Why would anyone sane want to marry someone that they don't love. It's the most cruel, selfish thing you could ever do to another human being. Passion is a huge part of a healthy marriage, I've been married over 7 years and the passion gets better as time goes by, I wouldn't settle for anything less. Remember that passion, just like all good things in life has to be worked at.

Answer 4

No if you don't love the person dont marry them. There is a big difference between passion and love. I've been married for almost 2 years and if i'm honest sone of the excitement goes as you see sides to the person you don't when you first start going out like - stinking socks, yellow toenails, farts - which gets rid of the rose tinted glasses. But if there's no love there then in a few years you will have nothing.

Answer 5

I don't think the "passion" you have for a new bf/gf lasts forever, but it gets replaced with another type of passion. It may sound silly, but the mystery that surrounds someone when you initally meet them does go away after you live under the same roof with them. As far as marrying someone you don't love....I don't think that is a great route. Why settle? In the end, it will end in disaster. And think about this...there are SO MANY couples who love one another, get married, and it ends in a divorce. Starting off a marriage with someone you don't really love would end the same way...if not sooner than two people who initally loved one another. I think it sounds like you have a friend that you can't see yourself without....not a lover or life partner.

Answer 6

You shouldn't marry a person you don't love. Every relationship needs more than just passion and you can make the relationship work if lacking passion. But if you do not love the person, you should not marry them. They have the rights to be in a relationship where they're loved.

Answer 7

I think you are short changing yourself if you marry someone you don't love. Passion is a huge part of a relationship. The problem with most marriages today is that people go into them half heartedly and then they end in divorce. I would think through this long and hard before you do anything. If you can see yourself with this person for years to come, why not just remain friends and find the one you do love and marry them instead.

Answer 8

Sorry, but it will not be better with another man. The problem is not that you don't love him, but you are too young and haven't seen enough of life to appreciate the love you have. You rushed through all the stages people go through with each other where they form attachments and get to know each other - dating, holidays, meeting the family, ggetting your careers on track, saving money, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, honeymoon, decorating the house, planning a family, etc etc - all of these things are normally done over several years and you missed all that. What you need is to relive what you missed. You should start going out on dates together, maybe a meal, a concert, an activity weekend... ask him to surprise you! Get all dressed up and make the most of it! You should plan something special just for you and your husband and start saving up for it. Anything you can think or to replicate the stages you missed. He loves you, he is the father to your children, he is a great person - YOU CANNOT BEAT THAT and you are foolish if you think you can. When i think i might be falling out of love with my partner, and it happens to everyone at some point, i go on a little holiday by myself or with a family member. When i come back i miss him SO much! You just neeed to get some perspective.

Answer 9

You can of course marry him,but there wont be happiness in you rmarriage just companionship and it wont make the marriage last because if its you that doesnt love him then you will always stray and when you find someone that sweeps you off your feet and takes your breath away then what? are you going to cheat or leave your then husbund,its not worth it,if its for financial gain your doing it or what ever reason dont do it,i was pressued into marriage at 17 because i was pregnant with someone i did not love but could tolerate and as a friend it lasted 8 months what a waste of $30,000 and yes i did stray because i found the one who i loved not the father of my son,and i have been with him for 6 years now,dont marry out of love you wont be satisfying any part of your emotional needs or physical or mentally

Answer 10

If you can see yourself with that person for many years to come, it sounds to me as though you do love them. Loving someone doesn't always include passion - but passion can also come when you really get to know someone you love.