I keep going out with my close female friend,(in touch practically everyday) we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me, feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc.
We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?
She doen’t like it when I mention other girls that had caught my eye, she changes the subject ASAP.Recently she thought that I started dating a girl and she ignored me for a week.Was this jealousy or just a coincidence?My behaviour DID NOT change towards her+I'm not actually dating anyone.Was told she is happy for me,why wouldn’t she ask about this girl,if she’s a good mate?
2006-11-09 08:07:26 · 15 answers · asked by Machine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Said she wants me in her life, but not in that way, can't imagine me not being in it/part of it.
I told her how I felt this wkn.She said we would never be together and only remain friends.When I asked her for her reasons,she could not give any concrete answers.Some excuses were:
1)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
2)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
3)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?
4)Said she don’t deserve my feelings,someone else does
SHE ALWAYS TELLS ME THE TRUTH-WUD NOT LIE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER/SPARE FEELINGS,IS ALWAYS HONEST.
Is not scared of commitment/relationship/ruining the friendship if we went further+failed.
What should I do?
2006-11-09 08:07:58 · update #1
Should I ignore her?If I do how wud she feel\think about it?Did/does she love me?
2006-11-09 08:08:32 · update #2
Women, eh? She likes you. Enjoys your company. Is obviously jealous of your other girlfriends. Doesn't want to add the physical. No, I don't really understand either.
Does she have other boyfriends? Perhaps she's afraid of spoiling what you have.... Or perhaps she's immature; enjoys the power of knowing that you fancy her, keeping you dangling?
It's not fair to you for her to say 'No' to you-know-what, but go into a strop if you go out with someone else.
The 'other woman' thing was good, gave her something to think about - she was definately jealous, or hurt.
My advice is to back off. Maybe you're smothering her. Give her a bit of time & space; let her come to you. It might take a bit of time. But I believe that the best partnerships are based on friendship that develops into love. It sounds as though all the elements are there in your relationship, but she needs a bit of time. I hope so. All the best!
I had a very good friend once. I didn't fancy him, didn't want to take it further. Then, one night, when it was time for him to go home, I realised that I didn't want him to go... It was as much as a surprise to me as to him!
P.S. Don't wait for her forever.
2006-11-09 08:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what I have a male friend who wants to take things further with me we have the same closeness you two have (though we have never been physical) the thing is i could never be in a relationship with him even though i really like him when i told him this i gave him a hazy answer there are actully a few reasons but the main one is i dont fancy him i could never tell him that so i tell him the other reasons i dont want to hurt him. maybe she doesnt want to hurt you. I dont want to lose him from my life which sometimes can happen to people when they start a relationship if it ever ended. maybe you would lose the friendship maybe she is scared of that also.
2006-11-09 08:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by alexis m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah, she sounds confused. Try giving her a bit of space for a while and see what she has to say about it all then, after all as they say "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
EDIT: Don't ignore her or give her any reason to be worried about your friendship. Just try and find some genuine reasons not to see her and she may come round to the fact that she actually wants to spend more time with you as a couple. I hope so anyway ;o)
2006-11-09 08:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by doodlenatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me partner that she doesn't want to commit with you at this present time, she might be scared of getting hurt or going to deep with you...Some women have problems with that and they feel that when the go to far they are losing the control that they have...She has feelings for you and that is it but she doen't want to commit with you.. and far as that comment she made I wouldn't know think nothing of it now that you know that it is an excuse...Personally I would walk away from this and find me someone that would be interested in you... Don't do this to yourself just go and be happy and live.
2006-11-09 08:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without sound hurtful towards her (and not knowing her) I would say your her friend "when I don't have plans". This means when she's lonely or bored she calls you up for entertainment. I would not attempt to take this beyond the friendship you to have if you don't want to lose her. If pushed, she will just find a new friend. Find yourself your own real girlfriend. Eventually your heart will mend and if not you will still have a good friend that you love.
2006-11-09 08:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from an outsiders view I'd say listen to what she says. You are not going to be her boyfriend. She enjoys your company and attention. and who wouldn't? It sounds like you give her everything but she doesn't have to make a committment. something is obviously missing for her. so as bad as it is I think you should try to find someone else. of course she'll be jealous. it's normal. you give her a lot and she doesn't want to lose you. but don't be fooled that this jealousy is anything more than it is. if she really wanted to date you then she would. try as hard as you can to move on. and keep her just as a friend. no one in their right mind would keep the person that is right for them waiting around, like she has done to you.
2006-11-09 08:11:56 · answer #6 · answered by jay-z8900 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like one of two things. She could just be playing games with you. Maybe she just likes the fact that she can string you along and keep you all to herself without having to be yours. She might just want to "own" you, but not be interested in dealing with the work that a relationship requires. In other words, she wants you to chase her, be exclusive to her, want her, etc., because it gives her a feeling of superiority and attractiveness. It makes her look more desirable.
The other option could be that she is not as attracted to you as she says she is. She loves your company, your friendship, your relationship as it is. But you're just not her type. Or she's attracted to someone else. Maybe even a girl. My advice, give yourself permission to see other people. Continue to be her friend. If she says she wants to date you and you're still interested, great! Otherwise, she can't complain. Good Luck!
2006-11-09 08:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look i didn't read the whole thing it was too long!! so from the what i read this is what i think you should do. ! tell her how you feel, it's too late to be "just friends" you've crossed that line when you two kissed. 2. if she says she doesn't want you in "that way" than give it up. 3. if you can't just see her as a "true friend" than i suggest you leave her. either way things are going to be hard to deal with.
good luck!!
2006-11-09 08:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by Julz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either she can be really confused and is not sure weather she just feels friends love or she might actually be really in love with you... OR... she knows exactly what she´s asking you to do.. which is, she likes you and likes to be with you (as a friends, as almost a brother, as somebody who she likes to hang around) but not in the bf kind of love...
If you have actually talked about this, both of you and she insists that she doesn´t want to have a realtionship with you.. you might just go on with your life, and have her as friend, someone you talk to and have a few laughs, but nothing else.
She might be jealous when she "knew" about this other girl, because maybe she´s grown acustom to be with you, and for you to destin all of your time to her, to be the 1st one you talk to .. and she mightnot like to be replace by another girl..
2006-11-09 08:25:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she loves you bt maybe in a way where itd be weird to get physical such as lookin at you as a brother(sister?)figure.shes probably not being direct as in saying how she feels either way because 1)she doesnt want to hurt you 2)she doesnt want to lose you.it sounds cruel but in my opinion she needs to get some balls and not keep dangling you on a piece of string.i think shes jealous of losing the friendship/closeness you have but from what ive read id say shes not interested in anything more,move on hun.romance/love/friendship isnt meant to be like this xxxx
2006-11-09 08:18:48 · answer #10 · answered by Nellynoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋