fantastic - but is it ? met up with an old boyfriend and one thing led to another and yes i crossed that line ! what to do ? he makes me feel special calls and texts me something my husband never does ! i love my husband but love my "affair" to .is it wrong to want to feel loved ,wanted and appreciated ? shall i give him up and go back to just being a mum and wife ?
2006-11-09 07:58:23 · 20 answers · asked by geisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Someone told me once.....The grass in NOT greener on the other side....It's just someone else's dog poop.....Sit back and think before you consider doing either. Make a choice that is best for you and those you love. It might include the new man, but who knows? Maybe that dog poop just look good on this side of the fence.
2006-11-09 08:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by The Unknown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through! It isn't my job to judge you, and you already know that having an affair is wrong.
Marriage is very hard! Anyone who gets on here and pretends that they have not ever thought about or actually had an affair hasn't been married, or hasn't been married for longer than 10 years. What you are experiencing in your marriage is normal.
That being said, you need to make a decision. If you love your husband, and you value your family, you need to end your affair and focus on making your marriage good again. Reality is, the grass IS NOT always greener on the other side, and eventually any relationship you are in will become dull and boring if you allow it to. Your husband shouldn't have to call and text you all the time, he is married to you and gets to spend every night with you. If you need that extra attention from him, it is your responsibilty to tell him. Let me assure you, if you leave your husband, this "affair" will not seem so exciting anymore.
It is not wrong to want to feel loved, wanted and appreciated. EVERYONE wants that! Including your husband. Can you honestly say that you have always been an attentive, loving, giving wife without fail? I doubt it! At some point in your life and marriage, you need to start putting more importance on the things that truly matter. Does your husband love you? Is he there for you when you need to cry? Would he hold your hair back when you are vomitting? Would he sit in a hospital room with you day in and day out if you were ill? Does he love you just as much when you wake up with bed head and bad breathe as he does when you are dressed to go out for the evening? It may seem silly, but those are the things that love is all about. The excitement you feel in the beginning is temporary. As exciting as it may seem, it isn't real!
Make your marriage good again! Cherish every moment you have to be a mom and a wife! It is a wonderful honor we have as women! We make our own happiness! Best of luck to you and your family!
2006-11-09 16:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes give him up. You have been in a relationship for so long and you have lost the romance it happens. The same thing will happen to the ex and you. You have made it this far why start over with someone else? I am sure you have had hard times and great times in that time.
You should relight the flames in your marriage. You have probably been in a rut for awhile. Why dont you talk to your husband and tell him that you need him to be more romantic to step it up a notch. Or why wait for him to do something if you want something done then initiate things.
I am sure when you were first with you husband he made you feel special too the romance just dies down after awhile. There is nothing wrong with wanted to feel loved wanted and appreciated. But you should communicate things with your husband and let him how you feel about things. We take things for granted we do and maybe your husband has been and maybe you have been as well. As time goes by it gets harder and harder to appreciate the someone and the things they do for us because it doesnt feel special anymore it feels like routine.
Just try to get out of this rut and you will see how much better things will let your husband know whats going on and how you are feeling and tell him to step it up a notch and I bet you he didnt know you were feeling this way and he might try to make it better it just depends on your approach and the type of person he is.
On another note people dont realize what they have until its gone dont let it get to that. Dont give up on something that you have worked so hard for and for so long.
2006-11-09 16:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by hmm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read a poem about the life of a Middle aged woman and it talked about her meeting younger guys, and them calling her a MILF and what not. It's exciting but at the same time you maybe huritng someone.
I wouldn't do this myself but there are swingers and things like that where you can meet people and get the thrill back into your sex life and wake your hubby up again. Maybe he can still be your best friend during the day stop being a stanger by night.
Also imagine if he met up with an ex and she is doing the same thing, don't blow the though of it off simply becasue it's happend to you. More imporatntly what would you want him to do in your situation, thats what you should do okay.
2006-11-09 16:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most natural thing in this world is to crave a feeling of being wanted, needed and loved. But just because your husband may have become a little stagnant with your relationship and does not make you feel this way at all times does not give you the right to seek it out from the other man. Communications is the number one thing in any relationship and you need to communicate your feelings and needs with your husband. In my opinion I believe that you should cease and desist thing extra marital affair immediately if you want to maintain any sort of self esteem.
2006-11-09 16:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved and good about your self but at the same time you husband has been holding you down for 20 years and im sure it wasn't all easy times. Don't throw away something that is solid as a rock just because a new guy is filling your head up.
2006-11-09 16:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by Spicy chick like hot sauce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have crossed soo many lines. Your cheating and you need to either be with your hubby or divorce and move on. I hope you get caught. I hate cheaters because there is NEVER a reason to cheat. All relationships need fine tuning...you dont use the fact that things have cooled in the marriage to go off and have an affair. Your in loser mode....get out of it.
2006-11-09 16:04:16 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be cheating on your husband. All the effort your putting into your affair you should be putting into your marriage!! You chose to be a wife and a mother. Now you should stand by your decision and if you absolutely cannot, you owe your husband a huge apology, the truth and letting him choose whether or not he still wants to remain married to you!!
2006-11-09 16:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my gut says to tell you to stay with hubby, but, my heart says everyone needs to feel loved and wanted. I think if I was you, I'd talk to the hubby and tell him how you feel, not about the other man though. See if things change at home before you wonder off in another direction. The road is gonna be a little rocky either way.
2006-11-09 16:03:21 · answer #9 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I understand you want to feel loved and after being with someone for that long all that attention kind off faids away and you want to feel that special loved feeling talk to your husband and give it time if nothing changes than continue your affair but, dont get cought its not worth it
2006-11-09 16:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋