This guy at work frequently greets me by saying something like "how are you, dear" or "hello, dear." He bothers me in general but "dear" is really starting to become...ick. We're not colleagues, we don't spend a lot of time together. He's not doing it out of putting a move on or anything... it just REALLY bothers me. If he doesn't "dear" he uses a shortened version of my name that signifies familiarity. I don't like that either but there's nothing I can really say about that.
How do YOU handle those sort of things at work or school that start to bother you or become offensive?
Anyone can answer but if you're going to say "oh there are more important things to worry about" or whatever, I'd like to offer a preemptive "stuff it." Yes, there are but that doesn't mean something that bothers you should be minimized. It bothers me, all right. I'm a lesser person than you because of it. And I'm fine with that. :)
2006-11-09 07:54:37 · 10 answers · asked by stimply 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It depends...I've been down this road with the "dears" and the "huns". The only time I let that slide (sometimes) is if it's an older person...like 70s+ as they (most of the time) mean no disrespect and are just doing that out of habit for anyone young enough to be their children or grandchildren. HOWEVER anyone else I will always let them know as politely as I can to please don't refer to me as "dear" or "honey", etc. I ask them to please use my name when speaking with me. I've gotten a few eyes rollin' or a quick look, but never had a bad comment or repercussion because of it. It's just disrespectful I think to call anyone that - especially in a working situation.
2006-11-09 08:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by svmainus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just politely tell him not to call you dear or the shortened version of your name. I have this same problem at work. I am a woman and a younger woman calls me "dear." It drives me crazy because I do take offense to it. I need to follow my own advice and tell her she can call her husband and children "dear" but she can call me by my name. Good luck with how you handle this.
2006-11-09 08:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Bowllynn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will tell you a story, I use to work with a man who never called me by my name he would always call me sugar plum. I guess with him being from Texas (sorry) he thought this was cute. Well finally I had had enough & He said it one day I stood up & Said I have a name & you need to use it. He looked at me & walked away. The next day he called me sugar plum again I said to him if you do not stop calling me that I will go to your manager & discuss this with him & you know you are on the verge of being fired anyway. He never called me anything but by my name. So first tell him to stop, then if it doesn't stop go to the manager, if that doesn't work go to the human resource person & file charges. Hopes this helps!
2006-11-09 08:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by bdbarbie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you are in a casual group setting with him, start a conversation about pet peeves and mention how being called "dear" annoys you to the core. He'll get the message if he is smart enough.
2006-11-09 07:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by cardigan06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it offends you then wouldnt you call it harrassment? sounds like it's not sexual, but it still makes you uncomfortable....I would tell him outright to stop with the "dear" and address you with your full name....
2006-11-09 07:59:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean--this is what i do, when the offender comes up to greet me, i stop him/her short and firmly but nicely say *please just call me _______ insert name or other non-offensive moniker in above space........enough times and they usually get the message......
2006-11-09 07:59:01 · answer #6 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i have a problem with anyone i meet it head on.dnt sit back.stand up for urself tell him you dnt like it & you want it to stop.thats wot i would do & you did ask
2006-11-09 08:05:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do not move to church.. however i am a christian- within the phrases i attempt to comply with the educating of christ. churchs have their possess time table - i don't want any person to translate the bible for me.
2016-09-01 09:53:42 · answer #8 · answered by marentes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is offending u so it would be easy to say i have a name use it.
2006-11-09 07:59:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM IT BOTHERS YOU AND YOU WANT HIM TO STOP!!!
Geez.
2006-11-09 08:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋