I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We've been living together for over a year.Things have been good up until these past few months. My best friend has always hated him, even though she hardly knows him. All she can tell me about anything is to just leave him. I know I do deserve to be treated better, but its not like it is the worst thing in the world. I just want him to appreciate me more. She's just always getting into my business when it comes to anything with him. I've told her before that she can't make decisions for me. Its almost getting to the point where she won't talk to me at all b/c I won't talk about my relationship with my boyfriend. Its like she's trying to make me choose between her and him. Its a little rediculous b/c she's acting like a teenager. I just don't know how to continue our friendship when all she does is bash my boyfriend. I need some advice. Please help me!
2006-11-09 07:26:20 · 13 answers · asked by amos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well if you agree that he needs to treat you better maybe you should consider that? Sometimes things like that are very hard to accept and it is probably frusterating for her when she knows you deserve better.
At the same time, if you are not willing to give yourself what you deserve and find someone that REALLY loves you, she needs to butt out and accept that you're not going to leave him.
She doesn't necessarily hate him or anything about him, it just hurts her to see you in that situation.
2006-11-09 07:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by asoobee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This happens when best friends split because one enters a long-term relationship. It is jealousy she's feeling, and it's unfair to all of you because it gets in the way of everything. She wants to be very much in your life, like before, and can't accept that you don't want that. She would, if she could find a way, break you two up. Like a dog that barks all night long, she's becoming a nuisance, but how long is your man going to put up with her antics?
You need to get with her, 0ne on one, and lay down the groundrules, the limits as you see them. Maybe your man knows a single guy you might hook her up with?
But you put your finger on the real problem in the last part of your question, and she has to grow up. This is something you can help her with, though. You can't let her break you up, because you certainly aren't going to want to be near her after that, right? let her see what she's doing, and the consequences of her attitude.
Good Luck
2006-11-09 07:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by The Mystic One 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always heard that boyfriens are temporary and friends are forever, but I believe your friend should have enough respect for you to drop it. To her credit, it is probably because she cares for you, but in reality she seems to just be making your life more complicated. She is acting very childish. An option you might want to consider with her is similar to an intervention. Tell her what you need her to do as your friend, and if she can't do that, determine what you are going to do if she doesn't comply, and stick to it. My best friend had a girlfriend I hated with a passion, she cheated on him broke his heart and he kept her. One night he called me up with the barell of his gun in his mouth because she had broken up with him. At that point I called her at 1:00 AM and told her if she ever came within 50 yds of him again, I had a septic tank filled with lye and nobody would miss a **** like her in the first place. That's how bad she was. They got back together, I hate the broad and hope she dies. But he couldn't handle that additional stress. I voiced ny opinin and I shut up because it was just making things harder on him. A real friend will do that. Just ask yourself this: If you and your boyfriend do make it, aren't you going to resnt her for the trouble she caused? And if you guys don't make it, do you really want that bull going on? Because I garentee it, if she acting this way now, it will happen again.
2006-11-09 07:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by scoutredneckfluffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how u feel b/c i have a friend that was like that my bf and i do not get along all the time and my friend tryed so hard to get me to leave him but i am in love with him even thouth she has been there 4 me i just couldnt help but to tell her to go away if she couldnt leave things alone she is not in my live now but i have a bf that i can trust now and she never tells me what to do if your friend cant just talk to u about anything als i would just not talk to her at all some people dont like to see others happy even if it dose hurt sometimes
2006-11-09 07:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by baby_lovenm69 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would ask her why she hates your boyfriend so bad. And I will also tell her that if she is my friend and if she wants to keep my friendship she will respect my decisions. I might be wrong but it sounds to me like she is jelous that your with him. Are you sure that doesn't want your boyfriend for her self and thats why she's acting like that.
2006-11-09 07:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is trying to protect you. Even you say he needs to treat you better. So why not start with that. If you fix your relationship with your boyfriend, then what will she have to not like him for? So maybe fixing your life, rather than blaming your best friend for your troubles would ba a place to start!
2006-11-09 07:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain good friends see other through good and bad and respect each other's decisions. If she can't respect your decision to be with with you boyfriend. She doesn't respect you or your friendship.
2006-11-09 07:29:35 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her that you do appreciate her advice on the matter, but that it is not up to her who you see. also tell her that as a friend she should support you and want to see you happy, and that he makes you happy. you can also tell her that you value her concerns and that you just want her to understand that he is your man for now. who knows what may come in the future, but that you always want her for your friend and that you would just want the same for her, to be happy
2006-11-09 07:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by Stacey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he came between u an her he is getting ur time that u use 2 have 2 hang with her can u go out like a girls night 1 night a week maybe that will make her happy an dont talk about him at all it that dont work 4 her **** her go on with ur life stay happy
2006-11-09 07:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by vickey417 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Maybe she wants you all to herself? Listen, you need to sit down with her and establish boundaries. Every relationship has them, and she's violating yours. She needs to know this ok.
2006-11-09 07:36:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋