My sister has yet to file for a divorce from her second husband and is now living with a man we disapprove of. She has been dating him for about six months and has been living with him for about three. We don't see him often. When we go to their house he spends the time in the bedroom. He hasn't come to a family gathering with our family yet. His birthday is coming up and I thought I'd send him a card just to be nice. But now my sister wants us to buy him presents for Christmas. What do you think about this? I understand he is her "family" but without making an effort to get to know us and spend time with us isn't it rude for them to expect his name to be put into the gif exchange drawing?
2006-11-09 06:42:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, he doesn't deserve presents. A card is more than generous. A gift is a gift, it's not mandatory and for your sister to even insist that he get one is not only rude, but down right a poor show of manners. If she is insistent that you get him a gift, then perhaps she can share hers. Whatever you get her, just stick his name on it too. Someone who can't make an effort to get to know the family of the girl he *loves* doesn't deserve anything more.
2006-11-09 06:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds so familiar to me!
My sister's HUSBAND is the same way!
But, we have to get him something...so usually I get him a instant lottery ticket, which is only like 1-10 dollars, depending on what you get. Other years I pretending just to be giving him joke gifts, but really it was because I didn't want to spend my money on him, so I'd give him used batteries, opened jars of peanut butter, etc.
But when I am feeling gracious, the lottery tickets work well.
Good luck!
2006-11-09 06:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are buying individual gifts, that should be a gut decision. I agree that if he is going to hide in the bedroom when you visit, and not make an attempt to get to know you than I personally would not add him to my gift list, however, if your family does a gift drawing, and he is going to attend the family gathering I would add his name to the draw.
2006-11-09 06:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by twoshotjudy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, get them a joint gift. Since she would like you to think of them as a couple, get them something for them to have together, like something for her home.
I might send him a card for his birthday and see how that goes,he might be shy or may not be family oriented. Its a nice thought, if he doesn't say so much as a thank you then boo for him.
2006-11-09 06:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by chiara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and the rest of the family may not like him, but your sister has him in her life and has chosen to be with him. Be civil and get him something impersonal, like a gift card. That should suffice (expecially since you have no idea what he likes).
2006-11-09 06:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister went off track long ago, so her demand for presents shouldn't be s surprise. He's not her family, he's a dude she's shacking up with. You have no obligation to be nice to him. Or her for that matter.
2006-11-09 06:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is some kind of shame or just doesn't feel comfortable to talk with you, or is afraid of some judgment or misread, doesn't matter. If she want you to buy him some gift - why not, it can break his silence and he can see you're for him and you care.
2006-11-09 06:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would buy a household type gift for the both of them together
2006-11-09 06:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is rude I wouldn't get him anything.
2006-11-09 06:46:34 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋