Can you really just stop loving someone?

Question

I was with my boyfriend for about 1year and 5months and we were completly inlove for the first year and 3months and then we starting fighting...over just stupid things...but i mean what couple doesnt fight? well one night...about 5 days ago he decided to tell me that he doesnt think that we should be together anymore...and that he doesnt love me anymore...im heartbroken because hes the love of my life and i want to spend the rest of my life with him...can you really just stop loving someone? and is there anything that i can do to maybe make him realize that he does still love me and maybe we could work things out...cause im going crazy

Answer 1

True love no but you can get over them....

Answer 2

The hardest thing to do, at this point, would be to AGREE with him! That's right, tell him, perhaps it is better that we should NOT be together anymore. You can really tell a lot about a person by how they act. If at all possible, maybe you can just ask him, and GET THE TRUTH of the matter. Ask him WHY?

Also, LOVE IS A CHOICE! It can be that he chooses not to be with you for whatever reason. We have to be free to be ourselves in relationships, otherwise they don't work.

Ask him as well, if there is ANYTHING you could do for him (NOT SEXUALLY) different. Give him his space and time. Do something for yourself. Take good care of yourself, because when you do that, someone else will want to do that for you and with you!

Answer 3

Apparently he doesn't feel the way you do, maybe it's better that you find out now than later.
Either someone else has caught his eye or it's just worn off, the love I mean. I've seen two and I know of one other, the man in two cases and the women in one, came home from work and simply said "I don't love you anymore" that was that. One a friend was married for 21 years. Go figure.

Answer 4

Honestly - once you love - it never goes away. You would'nt want it to because love in all of it's difficulties is a blessed thing. What you are faced with is not the loss of love, but the grief that the person you do love is no longer the same. If you want the man you love to return and to continue loving you - you must get yourself back to who you truley are. Remember the good and always stay focused on it - it is the way to stay positive & if this gent is gone - you will find another waiting in his place!

Answer 5

Well sounds like he doesn't deserve you anyways. Usually when a guy ends it like that , he is already talking to someone else. Your gonna have to face the facts and realize that there are many other men out there and you will find your real true love someday. If it was meant to be, you wouldn't be going through this right now. Try dating again and try to have some fun no matter how hard it is.

Answer 6

Yes, You can. More than likely hes been checked out of your relationship for a while.. and he just finally decided to tell you that he was done.

The best thing to do is to try to get away from it for a while then you can see how you feel in a month or so..

Answer 7

Let me just say this, relationships should not be so much hard work, he might feel like its more work than what he gets out of it.

Time to move on, PS theres nothing better to get over a man, than a new man!

Try dating! If after 6 months of dating and getting to see whats all out there and how much fun relationships should be...you might have just changed your mind!

Answer 8

I don't think you can just fall out of love with someone. Either your ex had been gradually falling out of love with you for a while (I know, it's a horrible thought) or he only said he doesn't love you anymore so that you'll let him go. I was with my ex for 2 years when he cheated on me and started a relationship with the same girl that lasted over a year. At first I wondered how he could get over me so quickly but it soon became clear from his behaviour that he wasn't over me at all. As it turned out, I got over him in about 4 months while over a year later (after his new relationship finished) he started sending me strange "I miss you" texts. So I think I actually got over him more quickly because I said "Well, it's over, time to move on". It hurt like hell but I got through it!
I think your ex has made up his mind. Like my ex-boyfriend, he might just be panicking because he's not used to being in a relationship for so long. Maybe he misses his single days. This shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself- as painful as it is now, better for him to do this now than years down the line.
Try not to focus your energy on getting him back. Even if he does sometimes think, "Damn, I miss her", chances are you'd never know anyway because he'd keep it to himself. Be secure in the knowledge that he DOES and WILL miss you, but it's time to move on. Do whatever you need to to feel better, but don't let him affect you anymore. Try not to call him, or hang around places where you might see him or in anyway stalk him. The only way you'll get through this is by putting some distance between the two of you. Spend as much time with your friends and family as you can. Rent whatever DVDs you want and sit and watch them with your snack of choice. Pamper yourself. Write down how you feel, then tear up the page and throw away all the negativity. Cry when you feel like it. Ask for hugs. And you'll get through it, I promise! Good luck!x

Answer 9

If you really love someone, it doesn't go away overnight. Either he's been thinking about it for a while or maybe he's met someone that he wants to be with. In either case, he's not worth having I'm afraid.
Maybe he's just being stupid though. Cheer up x good luck

Answer 10

I think it is possible to fall out of love with someone. Sometimes the troubles outweigh the pleasures leaving one person aching for what they are not getting. If he is unhappy there is nothing you can really do to change that. If the relationship is worth it to BOTH of you then perhaps consider counseling. Whatever is meant to be will be. If he isn't the guy for you then don't sweat it because someone else out there is!

Answer 11

I suppose you can stop loving someone, but this is usually because you become bogged down with day to day life. I suggest you give him some space. They do say that absence makes the heart grows fonder, you you never know. I hope it all works out for you.