So my girlfriend and I are living together,we are extremely happy. My parents and family adore her,her parents won't give me a chance,and are trying to find any chance they get to ruin us. My girlfriend has already addressed them about it. They come from a different culture than I do,so I know I have to learn about theirs,and learn to accept it,but do they really have to be so mean to me? One of the things they hate about me is that I am 24,and I have been divorced (my ex cheated on me),and I have two kids. I had my two kids with my ex wife who cheated on me..does that MAKE ME the bad person? I just really need some advice. My feelings have been hurt,and all because I am a daddy,they won't give me a fair shot. :-(
2006-11-09 05:53:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is hard to deal with. Try looking at it their way for a bit. Your older then her and you have kids with another woman. In their mind they think if you get her pg. you will leave. when you say they have a different culture. maybe boyfriend and girlfriend they do it different too over there. Im really sorry that they arent giving you a shot. but maybe they should look at how happy you guys are and they should be happy as well. Parents will be parents in a situation like this. They feel they have to protect their little girl. because to her parents they think since you were married and do have kids and is older they think your not a good kid that your just trouble.
You and your girlfriend need to talk about this. and you need to show her parents that your not going anywhere and that you love their daughter. You need to show them what they dont know about you. cause seems to me they already have you figured out. You need to be stepping up and talking to them and tell them were you come from.
I meet my boyfriend in San diego. He is in the military. but his family is from Boise. how people live and rase their kids in boise is very different from San diego. My parents meet and didnt like him off the bat. and it really hurt me and hurt him as well. Ummm. the more I hung out with him the more I was falling in love. but to my parents they say that we loved each other and that scared them. so they did a lot of things that hurt us. by not letting me see him. and making me move up to idaho were my mom is and not be able to live with him in San diego. my parents didnt want to approve but I knew my heart and that we loved each other. I stud up for him and he stud up for me. as stupid as that sounds sometimes you need to spell things out for parents cause they dont know. My boyfriend wrote my dad a letter telling him how much he was thankful for everything my dad did and how much I ment to him and it really opened up my sisters and my moms eyes. but it took a while for my dad to see that we did love each other and that he did care about me.
We both understood if we both got married we would be marring each others familys. for the longest time we were listing to what other people said and not to are own hearts. I understand you have been really hurt. and it take a long time to built a relationship witht that person because of what they did. but just give it time and they will come around. Now my boyfriend and I are getting married at Christmas.
You need to show her parents that your not just another guy that your something specail. Its sucks but sometimes thats what you have to do. Write him a letter explaing yourself.
I hope everything turns out. Just give it time. everything will be fine.
2006-11-09 06:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by allie laught alot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. I was in a similar situation except I my ex broke everything off 2 weeks before our wedding after us being together for 10 years and we have a child together.
First you should try your hardest to talk to her parents ad let them know that you will answer any questions that they have. But all you want to do is make their daughter happy. Due to the different culture you should have an open mind that they will not always agree with you. Also keep in mind that if she is there only child then they are finally facing the fact that there baby is all grown up.
Give them time. Sooner or later they will come around. Give them a chance to know you and you should make the time to really know them.
Good Luck.....
2006-11-09 06:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want her parents to be HAPPY that their daughter, whom they love, is living with some guy who (A) won't marry her, (B) has been married and divorced by age 24, (C) already has two kids, and (D) is not even from their culture? I am not saying you are a bad person, but that is not any parents' dream for their little girl when she grows up and you had best work really hard on showing them that you can make their daughter happy and stop rolling around in self-pity because they don't accept you.
2006-11-09 05:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there and time may help this problem.You are even morally excused by God to divorce (even with children) if you were the spouse that got cheated on.
Maybe they are just wanting the best for their daughter and I,m not saying that you are not, but it just may take time for them to see that even though you have already had another family ,you can still have one with their daughter without her getting hurt.
2006-11-09 06:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the best thing you can do is stick it out and prove them wrong. My wifes father didnt like me didnt give me a chance well being hardheaded I set out to prove him wrong actually when we started living together he realized that I was commited and as he got to know me he came around now everything is fine. As a father I understand that no one will be good enough for my daughter but hopefully they will realize that you care for her and take of her and eventually give you a chance. It isnt fair to you and it really aint fair to her.
2006-11-09 08:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and girlfriend are very happy and she accepts you and kids, then her parents need to accept that fact. She should tell them that she loves them very much and respects their opinion BUT they should respect her decisions as well and if they can't then they don't need to come around. She can visit with them at their house but that they aren't welcome in your home. She needs to stand up to them and for you in front of them. Once they see how serious she is, they will come around eventually. I hope your relationship weathers this storm. Good Luck!!
2006-11-09 06:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why can't you lose your boyfriend? that sounds like an irrational theory that desires greater desirable examination. you ought to be putting your capability in to coming up your self, so your existence is sweet. of direction you do no longer refuse to flow away at sixteen. while people love you, they like what's sweet for you. A boyfriend who desires to split you out of your loved ones does no longer prefer what's sweet for you. it particularly is totally unhappy which you're letting your self get so manipulated via this boy. you particularly must be putting your efforts into your self. the direction you're working down will deliver you no longer something yet years and years of wasted time. Your mum and dad would be deeply harm via your betrayal. shame? sense it?
2016-10-03 11:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can talk to her parents over dinner or something. Tell them its not fair and sh*t happens in life. Parents are always concerned. They will come around one way or the other. Just tell your gf to be firm on her stand!Good Luck.
2006-11-09 05:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show them you can be a good person try and sit down and have a conversation and if you see your children show them how good of a father you are you were married so its not like you got her pregnant and left her or anything otherwise just live your life and pay no attention to what they just put up with them because of your gf but that doesnt mean you have to like them
2006-11-09 06:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by thugluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where does she stand on this? with you?
then drop them like a bad habit and be happy. their problem is just that - theirs.
it will probably be a temporary thing, they'll eventually come around. but until then, who cares what they think? they aren't living your life. you are.
if you treat her right, keep her happy and provide for her, that's all you have to worry about
2006-11-09 05:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by smartkid37138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋