I hate my roommate. What can I do?

Question

I met my roommate online because I just moved here and didn't know anyone and she DRIVES ME CRAZY. She has this obnoxious, forced laugh that keeps me awake when she's wandering around the apartment talking loudly on the phone, which she does constantly. When she's eating she smacks her lips and clangs the silverware so much that I can hear her when she's in her room with the door closed. I bought all the furniture and she's just slowly taking it piece by piece into her room and when I try to give her hints like, "Hey there's a sale at Target on chairs this week" she just ignores me. She's also constantly having guys over - yesterday when I came home from class there was a strange man in his underwear in the hallway. The worst part though is that she's ALWAYS HERE. She's a grad student so I guess that means she has a lot of free time to work, but SHE NEVER LEAVES!

I don't know what to do. Right now I am basically avoiding her. We are on a lease together until May. HELP.

I am really nonconfrontational.

Would a note be appropriate, addressing the issues I have? I don't know that I can get up the courage to talk to her about it, and also I don't think I'd be able to say it the way I want to

Answer 1

First of all, sit down with her and tell her that you feel you need to work out some WRITTEN house rules, like after 10 p.m. is "quiet time" and anything that is purchased by either of you belongs to the purchaser and cannot be used/consumed without the permission of the owner. Do this with an attitude of "I'm trying to get along", not "I'm fed up" (even though it is very understandable that you are fed up), and maybe she will be willing to at least try to follow the rules.

A question: Did you actually sign the lease or is it in her name only? If you signed it, you're stuck with her, regardless of how she responds to the "house rules" suggestion.

If she is okay with the house rules, fine. But regardless, tell her that you are taking back everything that she has taken out of your room.

If she is not okay with the house rules, just keep complaining every time she does these things. Maybe SHE will get fed up and tell you she has found a new roommate!

P.S. In response to your question about writing her a note, you can do that, but a note is much easier to ignore than you talking to her in person. If you are nervous about it, take your time and write down all the things you want to talk to her about and what you think are reasonable house rules. If you have everything down in writing, you will feel more confident and be less likely to forget something important.

It is really hard to be in a close living situation like this with someone who doesn't respect your rights. I know confrontations are really difficult, but there are times when you have to decide, to put it crudely, whether you want to be buried in sh!t or climb out of the pit.

Your choice. :-/

Answer 2

try living like a pig for a while , make everything messy and stuff so she gets uncomfortable. Dont confront her on the guys she brings home , but instead place a video cam aat home so u can get the footage and show ur land lord what a pest she is . That way, he will automatically tell her to move out . I think u shud always kep ur stuff with u and lock ur room doors when ur not at home . Also make it clear to her that u need ur own personal space , so she can bugger off .

Answer 3

Find someone to take your place in the lease and leave.
OR
Contact the landlord for his advice. Maybe breaking the lease might have a small fine that you can live with paying just to get out of the lease.

ALSO make sure you have the receits for the furniture you bought.

Answer 4

Directly tell her not to take your furniture (it doesn't sound like she can take a hint). You paid for it; it's yours. About the guys she brings over...since technically it is part her place too, she has a right to have them over...BUT I can see how having strange men in the house or apartment all the time could make you worry, I mean you and your stuff is in there after all. Maybe you could tell her to warn you if she's having guests (not ask for permission), and that you will do the same.

Answer 5

Hi

If you really want to solve this problem your only chance is to sit down and talk to her(respectfully as possible).Simply let her know how you feel tell her some of the things that she does bothers you alittle and is there any way you two can compromise on how to handle the problems that are really bothering you. Also feel free to ask her as well to make the things balance out is there anything you do that bothers her. The only way you are going to solve a problem like this is communicate. If not you have no one to blame but yourself. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 6

I feel for you, You need to tell her this isn't kicking it... I want my stuff out of your room. I bought it and it stay where I put it..so keep your hands off(my stuff)!! And tell her look this isn't a motel, and you and your one night stands have to find another place to bump ugly's... Stand up for yourself !! If she don't like what you have to say tell her , well...now you know how I feel ! You never did mention anything about rent is she behind or does she pay on time? Cause that can be a reason for you to get rid of her... take her to court. (Hinting around is not working )You need to get a back bone , locking you self behind close doors is not solveing anything. Next time she leaves ... change the lock then she'll call and ask why her key not woking...Maybe you will get her attention by doing that. You need to put your foot down or tell the land lord that she's running a red light special everynight and you need for her to go or you will leave. Sometimes landlords will work w/ you. I just feel like you need to stand up for who you are besides you been quite long enough........GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 7

1. Get a new, lockable doorknob on your room; keep the old one to put back when you move out.

2. Spend LOTS of time out of the house; make friends and offer lots of outings - hang out at other friends' places, as long as you don't wear out your welcome. Offer to buy dinners for friends who will go out or even travel with you for short trips.

3. If you can afford overlapping rent for a month, don't be afraid to pack and move early, paying double rent for the month (or two) overlap in your leases.

4. Look forward to the day that your lease is up.

Answer 8

You need to confront her with these issues.
Tell her you want to opt out of this lease for these reasons.
She needs to find someone else to sub-lease in your place
You need to start looking someplace else.
As soon as you find something, just move out.
You can also talk to the landlord and tell him you need to get out of this lease. Sometimes landlords can be understanding.
And if he is not, you will have to make a decision.
This is not fair that you pay half the rent and you have no peace of mind.

Answer 9

have u sat down to talk with her about it? i dont think u can fix the eating habits, but possible the loud phone convos. and if the furniture is urs then take it back. say u bought it and u wanna use it. if she wants to go buy some then please feel free. you prob wont make a best friend but maybe u two can come to some compromise and finish out ur lease

Answer 10

Communication is the key. Stop throwing hint. Be straight forward. Stop avoiding her. You need to tell her about having st rang people in the house. House rules need to be set. When meeting people on line you need to establish a relationship, before conducting business or pleasure.