I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for about a year. We have been living together for most of it. I recently found out that we are expecting our first baby. My boyfriend, myself, and his family are so excited. My mom and her family on the other hand are not. My mom told me I should have an abortion because I am too young and I'm ruining my life. She told me that I will never finish school because I am too lazy and unmotivated. And all of sudden she doesn't like my boyfriend. I just can't believe all of the hurtful things she said. I understand that she has the right to her opinion but she doesn't have the right to make me feel bad about myself. I cry almost everyday because I feel like i've lost my mom. I'm not sure if it will be this way forever of if she will ever come around. My boyfriend and I are financially and emotionally ready to support a child and I just wish she would realize that.
2006-11-09 05:10:16 · 35 answers · asked by megan b 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
my whole family was very unsaportave at first. I was 18. but now I have two girls and a boy on the way, and my mom finally wants to enjoy them. My mom said the main reason for not wanting me to have a baby was because she did not want to be "old" being a grandma made her feel old. She will get over it and start to be involved. It might take a while. Until then just ignore her. good luck and congrats on the baby.
2006-11-09 05:16:04 · answer #1 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I know it probably hurts you a lot, but maybe your mom kind of had a future planned for you. I know my mom did and when I was 20 I was married. She told me that she thought I would go to school get a degree and become successful and then settle down and get married and have kids. But now that she see me as a stay at home mom with my son and pregnant again, she told me that I was successful and although at first she didn't see it she realized that this was what I was supposed to do, my job was to be a wife and a mom and she is proud of me.
My mom was disappointed at first when I told her I was going to get married and that we wanted kids right away. She didn't understand, but now that it has happen, she knows that it was right for me.
Your mom is probably feeling a little disappointed because things aren't turning out like she planned but once she sees you with her grandchild things might just change.
Sit down with her and talk about it. Ask her why she feels the way she does. Doesn't she want you to be happy? In time she will get used to it. It may take a while but she should come around, in the meantime you still need to talk to her and be there with her. Let her know that things will happen when they are supposed to, so what if school takes longer, as long as you put the effort to continue it.
2006-11-09 05:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your mom probably wouldn't be so upset if you were MARRIED. Why is it that everyone thinks it's okay to be pregnant and not married anymore? If you and your boyfriend are so ready to be parents financially and emotionally then why didn't you wait to get married BEFORE you got pregnant? I am sure you knew all about birth control and safe sex at age 22...heck I know kids that are 9 that know that...so why? You are feeling bad because you knew she wasn't going to be happy with this situation...now, do something about it instead of whine...I am sure your mom still loves you and will be there for you...she is hurt and angry and disappointed in your actions...talk to her. Sorry I sound harsh. Good luck with your mom and I hope you have a healthy happy baby.
2006-11-09 05:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear Dancestar,
You say you and your Boyfiend are financially and emotionally ready to suport a child, you are both happy and so is his family,
well there is your "ready" support network, HIS family, remember this is your life, you are fortunate that you have a boyfriend who is also happy about the baby, many are NOT, so your mother should be happy for you really.
Unfortunately it looks as if your Mom does not want to let you go really, you dont say anything about your father, is Mom and Dad together ? if not, Mom may see you as her one true friend and she may feel that she is losing her daughter/friend, she may see your boyfriend as the one who has changed her happy little set up with her daughter, that may be why she now dislikes him. Give her time, when you and your new baby are home she WILL want to know that you are both okay, after all your boyfriends family will be getting to see the baby and she wont if she keeps this up, it is her granddaughter/grandson too, it takes time. She will come around, just watch!
2006-11-09 05:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by Latin Techie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd say if you're 22 & in a stable relationship, I wish you all the best. You're way ahead of most people these days. I was in a similar situation. I was 22, had been living with my boyfriend for about a year, just finishing college. We had talked about getting married anyway, so we just moved it up. I had people trying to talk me out of it also. I'm pro-choice, but I chose to have her. That's what choice is all about. She'll be 28 this month & I never regretted that decision. Hopefully she'll come around. Give her a little time & space.
2006-11-09 05:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well congratulations, Just give your mom some time , she and the rest of your family will come around. Maybe you should spend some time away from your mom for now. Sometimes, parents have their own idea what we want from our children , and what order we want it in . And maybe since you strayed away from that, she may be a little hurt . But , dont let this stress you out .That is the last thing you want. Right now, just let time pass, and focus on you and your baby. Stay around the people that are supportive and positive. Good luck
2006-11-09 05:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by nellshay 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well, from a mom ,i under stand she's angry,worried about you, finish school very important don't put it off. do you 2 lash out at each other all the time when angry ? tell her you understand her fears and that you are hurt and afraid, at the same time you need her for advice & you will finish school so that you can provide for your child,she will come around . this her grandbaby but, it 's a big adjustment for all. keep your promises yours & babies future depends on it. bf what does he do to make this easier,is he in school as well? lots of luck to you & all . have healthy baby, & future.
2006-11-09 05:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ride it out....My mother treated my sister the same way (my sister was only 17 and still in high school and her bf was a LOSER). She reacted in the same way your mother is, and SWORE that she was not going to have anything to do with the baby. WELL - the minute that my niece was born, my mother was a different person! She realized that she was now a grandmother and my sister having a baby really wasn't worth the way she had been acting. Your mom probably just wishes you would have waited until you were married or older. She will come around! Just let her know how you feel and that it hurts. This should be a joyous occasion that you want to share with her and need her to be involved with. I PROMISE that the second she lays her eyes on that beautiful bundle of joy, she will see! Be patient and just communicate! Good Luck!!!!
2006-11-09 05:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by Christy 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Congratulations on the baby! Your mom is looking out for your future. Sometimes, parents live through their kids so it might be hurting her more than you think. You do not deserve to be treated like that and you should move out and take a break from you Mom. You need to be in a positive environment for both you and your baby. But I guarantee once you have the precious little angel, your Mom will be putty in your hands. Best of luck to you.
2006-11-09 05:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by Deana S 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ignore your mom, stay away from her as much as possible until after the baby is born. You need to take care of yourself and your baby and avoid the stress she is adding to your life.
If your mom does not come around it is her loss. You just do what you think is right for the new family you are creating and hope she wants to be a part of it. My guess is once she lays eyes on the grandbaby her heart will melt.
When I got engaged my dad hated my future husband and said some pretty mean things about him to me. A couple of years later he apologised to us and said how wrong he had been. Most of the time parents do come around.
2006-11-09 05:16:50 · answer #10 · answered by Shalvia 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋