i am six months pregnant and already have a one year old son. i am still in high school, and it is so hard. should i give the baby up for adoption? i love my son to death and would do anything for him, but i dont think that i should be taking care of another child.
2006-11-09 05:10:04 · 23 answers · asked by ashmstan 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
when i was sixteen i was raped by my older brothers friend. That is how my son Nathan came about. my boyfriend is now paying to take care of nathan and if i keep the baby he will also be paying for he/she. i take good care of nathan but i dont know if i can handle another one. but i also cannot see giving the child up. i dont know what to do. my boyfriend wants to keep it...
2006-11-09 05:24:30 · update #1
Honey...I know your trying to figure life's mysteries out. But I would have thought that you would have learned a lesson from the sexual assault. That is to use some kind of protection. I don't mean to lexture but this was something you needed to hear.
First Kudos on your boyfriend for taking care of Nathan. He is under no obligation to do so. The fact that he does shows strength of character. This is a man you should keep in you rlife forever.
Why then would you want to alienate this wonderful man from from his family by giving up his natural child for adoption. This man has made a commitment to you.
Yes you may have to quit high school to take care of the children. There is alternatives to classes, such as getting a GED.
Yes you may have to put off college until your children are able to take care of themselves. A few night classes at a community college could help in the meantime and many community colleges now have day care.
These are goals that are still obtainable even if you have 2 children in diapers.
2006-11-09 06:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
that's a good question! well what if you do decide not to keep this baby and later on you are guilty about it what are you gonna do? are you ever going to tell nathan about what you did? and how would nathan feel about it if you did tell him. the only thing different about having two kids is it takes more time to get ready, it's not harder or complicated.you just need a little more time. also, if your boyfriend wants to keep the baby you should really talk to him about the issuehe has a decision too he's the father,this is a very important decision and let your boyfriend be involved too. no offense but maybe try to get on some birth control or use protection.
2006-11-09 06:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by HotMilf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of an open adoption? It is where you can still have contact with the child after the adoption. It is up to the adoptive parents how much contact that is. Some say just pictures a few times a year and some say actual visitation. This may be the answer you are seeking. If you would like to talk more about this subject, feel free to email me or instant message me!
2006-11-09 09:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Patty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, ultimately that's going to be your decision. Only you know the true nature of your circumstances and whether you have enough support to deal with the consequences of what you choose.
We can all speculate and give opinions on what WE would do, but you're the one who has to live in the aftermath.
Why do you say you don't think you should take care of another child? Do you have concerns with how you're coping with your first child and are afraid the situation may get worse? Or is it simply that you're being pressured by other people about being in your situation.
I would take some time first to assess what you can do to improve your situation, whether it be finding financial assistance or counseling or staying away from negative influences, and then deliberate on whether adoption is something you should persue.
Pregnacy makes many women feel inadequate and irrational, and this isn't the time to make decisions based on superficial influences.
2006-11-09 05:20:10 · answer #4 · answered by trwprid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you can't be taking care of another child, then definitely consider adoption. There are thousands of good potential parents waiting for a child to love. Try speaking to someone (like Catholic Charities) that can give you the information you need to make a decision.
2006-11-09 05:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by jingles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, this is pretty deep
I think you have to search your soul and think of what you can do for your baby and yourself. I would explore this option and see if there are people that would adopt your baby and let you stay in contact with the baby if that's what you wanted, but you have to understand that once you give your baby up you have no say so afterwards.
Once you figure out what to do you need to get on birth control. I think the IUD is really good cause it's easy and you don't have to worry about it for 5 years.
Good Luck and keep us posted.
2006-11-09 05:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.BusyBody 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand youve had a hard life, but my words of advice are keep Nathan and the baby youre pregnant with, and learn to use the pill and or condoms or keep guys off of you for a while, atleast until youre 18!!!
2006-11-09 07:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well think about it, it seems like a lot now but kids are not that hard to handle. Especially if you have your boyfriend helping you. Think also about your boyfriend, he is taking care of a kid that is not his so you know he will be a great father to his own blood. I personally would never even think about placing my baby in strangers arms. I know they are a lot great kind hearted people willing to adopt, but where there is good there is bad.
2006-11-09 06:31:12 · answer #8 · answered by anjelika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in quite a bit of trouble with your situation. My advice would be to get some help for you and your babies fathers. You need to talk to someone with experince in dealing with Teen Mothers.
Also you need the support of your parents. Talk to them and see if they are going to be able to help you.
Finally not to harp but after you have this baby invest in some birth control. YOu don't want another child if this is the way you feel now.
2006-11-09 06:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Ransom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see cases like this everyday. shouldn't really refer to your other child as another one. I feel were you are coming from you are truly young. If you do give your new baby up for adoption you have to follow through with it and commit to the decision you chose for your baby future. I do wish you the best of luck. God bless you and your family.
2006-11-09 09:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by Stunna 25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋