I am finally happy where we r. we have a nice house liive in a nice area great schools for the kids, and he wants it all thrown away to move! I put my foot down and told him I am not leaving if he wants to move he's on his own! Not sure if he is convinced or not! I really dont want to throw our marriage down the drain, but I really cant move anymore! Our kids r happy and doin great in school, and they have a lot of friends! What would u do? Am I right for standing my ground? He's truly a great guy, but I am not moving anywhere! I would think if he loves his family enuf he'd decide not to move and do whats right! Ugh I am just not sure what to do! Tired of argueing about it! If he wants to go then go more power to him! But he will do it alone! Oh and the kids already said they dont want to move either, ages 3, 5, & 7. So am I right on this one let him go by himself if he wants to go?
2006-11-09 04:52:51 · 18 answers · asked by woohooo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes he wants to move for a job, one that he may not even get! We r doin great here he makes great money so I really see no need to move!
2006-11-09 04:58:09 · update #1
no I dont need his money! and not with him cause of that either...the kids and I will be fine w/o his money! I do work and I do make good money too! So I am not with him for money or my house, I can make pmts just fine without his money!
2006-11-09 05:27:01 · update #2
you have every right to put your foot down on this situation. of course you don't want your marriage to go down the drain no one does. he need to consider the kids and how well things are going right now. if he cares like he says then he would want to stay. i am sure that you know that if you let him go on his own he will be back when he realizes how dumb he was wanting to leave this family. just ask him why he wants to move again. maybe you should get a babysitter and you and him go out for the evening maybe for dinner and then go for a ride and park somewhere wheres there's no body around and find out whats going on with him and why he wants to move. no yell or argue keep ur kool and find out why and explain to him what u want and that everything is going good. everything will be good just talk get it out and go from there. i wish u luck and hope everything goes good for you
2006-11-09 05:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by wildncrazy_bi_gurl 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweety dont stress yourself, it happens in marriages you either argue over something really good or you argue over something thats not good at all. The children seem a bit young they really cant decide for themselves and moving would not be a bad idea but if your happy and he is not here is an idea that you both can do just go along with him check out houses and neighborhoods and stuff cause you may never know there actually could be something out there that you like better. And than you have a discussion such as "I think we should waite just a little bit longer" And if anything dont get a divorce over moving it will be a BIG mistake you hurt your kids and i am sure no parent wants to hurt there kids like that but it does hurt i was the child of divorced parents and even now it still goes on cause after awhile you began to hate the other person so dont put your kids through that mess. Any problem is worth solving and i truly hope this helps you out alot.
2006-11-09 13:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up on your marriage over a matter such as moving. Even though there seems to be no other solution, talk things over with your husband minus a yelling fit, minus a closed mind, without being manipulative, and thinking of the positive qualities of your man. There is always a way to work things out. You said, "For better or worse" or some version of that when you got married. Now's the time to live that out and work through things. Good luck and God bless.
2006-11-09 13:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Which do you love more, your husband, or your house?
If you don't work this out, you might lose both.
Why should he keep a job he doesn't like and maybe be unhappy with? If he's paying the bills, he should have a say in where you live.
I think it's right to tell him you don't want to leave; but it's wrong to tell him to move out if he doesn't like your veto. You're insisting he pay attention to your needs and desires but I'm not sure if you're paying attention to his at all. It feels like all you're interested in him for is as a provider, and not someone who's the most important person in your life and an equal in this relationship. I'd feel abused if I were in his shoes.
I think you two have a lot more talking to do.
2006-11-09 13:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what the kids will always say no to moving. It really all depends on the reason for the move. If it is just for the heck of it perhaps he should reconsider. If it is for a much better job or better living place then perhaps. The reasons only you know but the final determining factor should be what's better for your family as a whole.
2006-11-09 13:16:03 · answer #5 · answered by Zach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kids do not get a say in this. They never want to move. They do not nmake you right on this and you should not have even mentioned this to them while the decision is being made. Do you often get them to take side in issues that are really between you two?
You guys need to work this out and should be able to
2006-11-09 13:39:14 · answer #6 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i gotta say i agree with you......its time to settle down. why cant he find a different job near where u live.....ask him to find another job and give it a year to see how things pan out? but if he is the sole person working ...paying all the bills....your a housewife......you can see where this is going? he may feel your supposed to go where he goes....{loyalty} your kids not wanting to go ........that opinion doesnt count....they have no say....you know im right on this... but i still agree with you.......id rather be beat in the balls than move...i hate moving! errrrrrrrrrr! i really hope you work this out.......but i say stand your ground......just " you" find a way not to argue about it......he cant argue alone...get the picture? this will help keep the marriage intact......hell eventually see your points....but remember.....were guys ..were not real brite! have you ever heard a woman say ....men are sooooooo smart& rational? need i say more?
2006-11-09 13:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband and happy in your marriage why would you not move? If your willling to let him go alone sounds to me like your marriage isnt a happy one and its best you both move on. Be sure your prepared to pay all the bills when he goes start saving money now. Sometimes we get what we ask for not what we want be sure your getting both.
2006-11-09 12:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your children are too young really to know what friendship really is so what's the big deal? it is always good to move while they are at the ages they are now that shows that you are willing to let your children dictate your life your marriage soon they will be grown and gone out of your house and you will be a lonesome old woman begging for them to help you and they will be no where around like every old woman like myself if you have a good husband i suggest you stick with him as long as he is trying his best to protect/take care of you and your/his children
2006-11-09 13:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by mishoney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
moving the kids from house to house, school to school is not healthy for them. how are they ever to know what home is if they are being moved here there and everywhere.
i think you putting your foot down is the right thing to do.
good luck
2006-11-09 13:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by dgr0919 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋