Are we being unreasonable or is she?

Question

We've been married three years, and have never used birth controll. We're in the process of adopting, and we hit a snag with our worker. My husband was discussing the situation with his mom, and she said we should just go do fertility treatments. I'm not interested in artifically creating a child when there are plenty of kids out there who need parents! We're also not interested in pointing fingers if one of us turns out to be infertal.

We know the worker is being unreasonable, because I've reconnected with an old friend who has adopted 6 kids and runs an adoption support group. I've chatted with her worker and we will probably switch agencies. My mother in law, on the otherhand...I see the was she reacts to my brother in law's step son vs the child they believe is his bio child. It's total night and day, and my main fear is that my adopted kids will sense the difference between the way they are treated vs the way the bio (or alleged bio) grandchildren are treated.

Answer 1

I admire your desire to adopted a child. There are so many kids out there who need a good home. You and your husband are to be commended.

However,remember that you MIL may be the type of person who (? unknowingly, maybe) desires to have grandchildren "of her own". We, as rational adults, know that any child you adopt will be "her own", but there are those who don't feel the same way.

Be firm in your convictions, while keeping her feelings in mind. This is a matter for you and your husband to decide. She can voice her opinion, but ultimately it's up to the two of you.

Good luck and bright blessings.

Answer 2

You sound like a very intellegent couple, many times with fertility treatments a person has many complications and sometimes gets 4-7 children at one time. Adoption is great, there are so many that would love a place to call home.

Answer 3

Who are you asking about re: being unreasonable? Your worker or mother in law? More info please.