Ok this question is for happily married women or ladies in a deeply loving relationship. No disrepectful answers please. Ok....
The other day I was vaccuuming. I found myself on my knees vaccuuming where the carpet meets the wall, in all the cracks that no one notices. I was HAPPY to do it because I thought, the house will be extra clean when my man gets home from work. Then I thought, I'm a fool. Nah, I'm not a fool, I want to make his (OUR) house nice. Then I think about the amount of stuff I do around here for him. I do a lot. Bascially all he does is work (very hard) and pay bills. I do everything else. But I'm not sad about it. I can't believe I don't mind cooking dinner every nite and cleaning up after. I do everything house-wise. I look forward to when he gets home and I dream up little sexy scenarios for us. We've been dating 4 years and living together 3 months. I'm really happy in this role where I never thought I would be. Am I making sense? Share
2006-11-09 04:19:33 · 22 answers · asked by Ade 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Totall making sense. When your happy and in love w/ the man of your dreams. Your happy to do all those house-wife things. So you go girl. Keep doing what your doing sounds like the 2 of you are very happy together.
2006-11-09 04:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kimberly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife is a stay at home wife. She enjoys it. Before our son came along, she worked about four hours a day keeping the house clean, was always avaliable if her friends needed anything, and could be there for me when I needed her to. With our son its gone from a four hour a day job to a 12 hour a day job, but she gets all the giggles and snuggles and I take him as soon as I get home from work. I've never met a woman who actually prefered working to staying at home, just women who didn't want to be "doormats." If your guy doens't treat you like a doormat, it doesn't surprise me at all that you enjoy staying home. Honestly, if I had my rathers, I'd rather set my own schedule and get things done around the house than work, so it's not just women I think who would prefer to stay home.
I heard it said once that, back when we were cavemen, a man would hunt and gather an average of 20 hours a week, a woman would spend half that keeping the cave clean, and everyone contributed equally to the raising of children. Then we got civilized and fixed all that. While I really apreciate modern medicine and law enforcement, I do see some truth in that statement.
2006-11-09 13:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know what you're looking for LOL!
It sounds a little bit like you have some resentments - you downplay a bit what he does ("Basically all he does is work (very hard) and pay bills") while detailing everything *you* do. I could be completely wrong (wouldn't be the first time) but I'm wondering if maybe you aren't trying to convince yourself that you're doing more than your "fair share." If this is the case, and you don't address it, then your future might not be as rosy as you think you believe it is right now.
If you really are content being what you are, then I say more power to you.
For years, I didn't want children (and wasn't supposed to be able to have them). Now, I'm a SAHM and I love it. I could never have imagined spending my days raising children (and I'm a nanny to boot LOL!)
I think the biggest thing I can tell you is to make sure that you take care of yourself in addition to your man. Indulge a hobby you might have. Exercise if you enjoy it.
Hope this answered your question!
2006-11-09 12:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. I think some of us are wired to feel that way. On the other hand, the GUY said, "you missed a spot here" and "you are a great hostess." Both crushed me, because I had HOPED he would say "I love you!" Never did. If you have the heebie jeebies about being a fool....look at these and see where they lead to in your psyche. I couldn't see this guy for what he was: never married anyone, didn't want the...albatross of marriage or commitment, and couldn't love (it was too personal). If you can talk to this man about your feelings and he hears you, hugs you, GOOD. If he chastises you for having these feelings: LEAVE!!! If you're doing these tendernesses hoping to get tendernesses back, and it just isn't happening, be tender to yourself and tiptoe away with your psyche intact.
Find your own house and do the vacuuming for YOU, and if you want to do it for your HUSBAND, that is different than someone you're living with. This guy from 25 years ago? He sold the house. I was basically a maid, cook, masseuse--waif.
2006-11-09 12:37:30 · answer #4 · answered by Yenelli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite sure I understand your question, but it sounds like you're happy in your role in the relationship. That's a good thing. I think people are always afraid that they are doing more than the other person in the relationship and sometimes worried that they are being taken advantage of. That's life, you cannot alway split things evenly 50/50 down the middle sometimes one person might be doing a little more or a little less. If the both of you are happy with the situation then their should be no problem.
2006-11-09 13:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by Lucy E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go girl!!! You should be proud of yourself and your relationship! It takes a long time to get where you are, and I'm glad you are feeling good about it.
Just remember, the newness does wear off. So, when you get to a time when you are not as motivated as you are now, just remember this feeling that you have right now, and try to let that motivate you. I was a stay at home mom for 2 years of our 4 year relationship, and I was so unhappy. It wasn't for me. But I'm happy now with my career I found, and we are doing good.
Remember also that once you start living together you start noticing all the little things he does that may be annoying. Get used to it! Once you live together, that is a whole new process in your relationship and will take time for both of you to adjust. Make sure you voice your opinions and feelings of happiness and frustration to keep a good line of communication open. Men NEVER get our little hints that we try to drop when telling him what we want.
2006-11-09 12:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to butt in, but I just can't help myself in having to compliment you. You are one great person and you shouldn't feel like, hey wait I second, should I do this, is he or the relationship worth it ? He works hard and loves you and you love him. When there is love, you don't do things and expect something in return. I mean I do like to compliment my wife because she runs a tight ship and keeps things inorder. Sometimes when she expresses that she is tired or feels sick I tend to help her out around the house now and then and don't mind at all. I work full time and she stays at home. It feels great to come home to a clean house and a loving wife. She's been doing it for almost 17 years now and has the help of my two teenage daughters, but I still pitch in now and then. We basically have an agreement, inside is mostly hers and the garage and outside are my weekend responsibilities. Just thought I throw in my two cents.
Your a great person and don't worry, I think he really appreciates all the things you do for him.
2006-11-09 12:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Makes perfect sense to me. Why would you even think you didn't make sense? Seems like your guy is a hard worker, and you *actually* appreciate it. I think, many women overlook the fact that after a stressful 10-hour workday the guy wants to come home and relax, not "help out" around the house. I actually don't mind doing as much cooking, clean-up and laundry as it takes; my husband works very hard, and I really don't care that he never does dishes. Best of all, he appreciates what I do, and it makes it all worth it.
2006-11-09 12:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you make sense. Im a stay at home mom and wife. My husband also works and pays all our bill. I take care of the house, bills, kids, our puppy, meals, cleaning and errands and anything else that needs to be done. And I am happy. Just remember running the house is a full time job to. And you deserve just as much praise for doing that as your hubby/ boyfriend does for working
2006-11-09 12:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by heidi19852006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a question for you. how old are you? the reason i ask is because i was in a very similar situation with my ex. after awhile it took its toll on me. taking care of a house and family is hard work and you never get a break. i like being more of atraditional woman where my man is concerned but my new man pitches in more with chores and it is great!!! he washes my car and does laundry and takes out the trash and it frees up more time so that we can relax together and take time doing fun things. it also gives me more time to myself which is great because everyone deserves that right? i think you have to do whatever makes you happy sweetie and if the housewife role suits you, then do what makes you happy.
2006-11-09 12:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by jenkins_nichole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋