my husband has been very distant and i'm going crazy trying to get him to show any emotions on anything. we used to be so loving towards each other but nowadays he 's being more of an a**hole and i can't deal with it. it's to the point of me wanting to punch his lights out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is there anyone who knows what i'm going through and can give me some advice on how to resolve my problem.
2006-11-09 04:04:32 · 10 answers · asked by rbm_0214 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pray dear friend. Prayer is very powerful. Try reading "Power of a Praying Woman/Wife" by stormie Omartian. Helped me and my marriage big time.
2006-11-09 09:33:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I did not manage coming back from a deployment and a brand new child whilst however I have handled each and so they in and of themselves require a best deal of adjustment. He converted plenty even as he used to be deployed and honsetly you most commonly have too so you can each have got to alter. You're most commonly a lot more impartial than you had been and he is not definite in which he suits anymore, principally with the brand new child. That's of direction barring any PTSD problems which I'm no longer certified to present an opinion on. But supply matters a while, attempt to preserve matters low-key and permit him take the lead if you'll. If matters do not upgrade then looking for counseling might be clever, in combination confidently however on your own if want be.
2016-09-01 09:47:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok clearly I'm not a military wife,but I am ex military,you say came back a stranger,I'm assuming you mean from a deployment somewhere? If I'm wrong cool but if it's something like a combat deployment then it could very well be post traumatic stress and could be something that takes years to iron out. If I go on that assumption then he most likely needs some help,and it may not be easy to get him to seek it,men simply aren't wired that way. What takes years of therapy to deal with often takes men years to get into the therapists office to start dealing with. So if that's the case then the question is whether you love him as much as you said you did on your wedding day,no offence but in my experience that's less often the case for women than it is for men,so be it,men are supposed to stick with their wives through thick and thin and then wives run at the first sign of trouble. I hope you're not part of that trend but if you are then leave now because he doesn't need to go through getting better only to have you leave in the end so he can start over,just my humble opinion not trying to be an a hole. Hope it works out but you need to decide where you stand with him before you start,again just my humble opinion.
2006-11-09 04:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do. It's very difficult for a while. There is a lot going on in their head. It's like shell shock to go from the abject horror of war, to being home and safe. Give it time, he should come around. Something that could really help your husband too, encourage him to see a psychiatrist. He'll most likely be very upset and offended you even thought that, but if you can get him to go, it'll help him solve some issues in his own head that you can't solve for him. Just hang is there, and keep being a loving wife.
2006-11-09 04:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi my husband is in the army and i understand you what you mean. All i can tell you is to support him with all your love, i know its hard but is worth it. Otherwise go to counsiling. Our husbands do a very danger jobs. And all i can tell you that whan they go to mission sometimes they come back mess up in the haed for all the stress and the things that happen to them. Be there for him. I know you cant deal when he acts like an a**hole and so am i with my hubby but remeber that who keeps a family together is the woman and not the man. Just be there for him and if things dont change go to see someone for make him talk and realize that he attitude is pushing you away.Good luck girl!!
2006-11-09 04:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by sweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling. I went thru this with my hubby during Desert Storm. The situations they are in do not allow nor cultivate emotions. They were not 'allowed to be human' there so it is going to take a while before they can be human again here. I watched my mother go thru it with my father and Viet Nam. Counseling can help. It will give each of you an outlet, you can vent and maybe the counsler can help you understand what is going on in his head. He's been subjected to a great deal of stress and de-humanizing situations.....he had to be strong. Its your turn now to be understanding. You were strong already-while he was gone. He is in there, honestly he is. It's going to take time (and a little prayer wouldn't hurt) and I'll light a candle for you too. It was tough to 'recondition' my (now ex) hubby but it can be done. He gave for his country- be proud of him and he will eventually "come back" to you.
2006-11-09 04:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by Skullchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I deployed in 91 for 8 months. I am not the same person either. Just give it time. Time heals all wounds. I e-mailed you with more detailed information. Have a great day and just hang in there. E-mail me and lets chat some more about this subject.
2006-11-09 04:44:12 · answer #7 · answered by six7foru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no knowledge of this problem,but Im sure its very real and you have my wishes for you to get through this hard time or are able to move on.Good Luck
2006-11-09 04:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Honest Injun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i haven't got a husband in a military, but i'm half-seeing my ex, who i only see every few months. he changes a lot, and it's hard readjusting. things will get better, and if they don't, you need to ask yourself why he's being dramatically different.
2006-11-09 04:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by livingthelie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats what happens. Get some counseling.
2006-11-09 04:07:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋