his baby brother? My boyfriend told me his ex did this when their sons were little. I thought it was incestuous, disgusting and wrong. Did I overreact?
2006-11-09 03:45:49 · 33 answers · asked by Beth T 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I think so. In fact, from an evolutionary standpoint, human children are designed to continue receiving breastmilk until roughly 6-7 years (the immune system develops to about adult levels at age 6 years, more or less). The physcial and cognitive benefits of breastmilk are present until about age 7. In many "non-modernized" cultures, children breastfeed at 5, 6, and even 7 years. It's looked down upon in our society because we've attached such a sexual connotation to ANYTHING having to do with breasts. Which is kind of funny; you get cow milk from the exact same organs, but nobody has a problem with that (well, except for vegans).
For an 8 year old to "briefly" breast feed (I'm assuming it was probably a one-time thing) will not harm the child. It's not dangerous. It's curiosity, and acting like the child was doing something horrible is not going to make anything better. I think it's fine for the mom to say "Well, if you're very curious and want to see what it's like, you can, but just so you know what it's like. Afterward, you need to understand that this is for the baby to eat" It's like little kids playing doctor; it's not sexual, it's just DIFFERENT, so they want to see what it's like.
2006-11-09 13:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by katheek77 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you may have overreacted. Although it is out of the ordinary for an 8 year old to breastfeed, and not really appropriate, it isn't up to you. Their mother gets to choose how she treats them. He could have been curious and letting him do that may have put an end to his lingering questions. That is a difficult situation to judge from afar, and who are we to judge anyway?
Also, keep in mind that if you want to keep your boyfriend, the last thing you want to do is accuse the mother of his two kids as incestuous and disgusting. He obviously didn't think that about her when they were raising their children. You should show your boyfriend that you can resist judging everything and everyone. You should also show empathy when you don't have the whole story or completely agree with what others may do. If you think about it, you and this woman may have a lot in common. After all, you did choose the same man.
2006-11-09 04:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by 10timesalady 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I don't know,but I feel you aren't overreacting. I admit to being somewhat taken aback by the concept. Had he been two or even three at the time, then it wouldn't have been so risky from a psychological standpoint. But at eight he'd be too close to puberty to avoid some sexual connotations being created.At best,the lad probably felt a tad silly himself whilst "nursing", but I truly hope that this won't lead to any unbecoming attachments in the future. It could have been curiousity on his part but it still seems a bit worrisome to me. I really truly think both the mother who came up with this idea and the child might need some counselling on how to deal with sibling jealousies.It's just as well it was "brief" but if you are a praying woman, then I say to get on your knees and intercede. Don't judge them,but show evidence of being loving and accomodating.After all,you weren't in her shoes at the time in question.
2006-11-09 03:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi U 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Um mabye you did because its none of your biz. Seriously. It doesnt sound like she was doing it to be incestuous or perverse it sounded like she was doing it to solve a problem even though she did it in a misguided way. Not everyone is views things the same way and it is strange and out there and probably not the best way to treat the situation but do i think she is a horrible person? No...I honestly dont. Do I think you have a right to judge tghe situation because it doesnt really concern you.....No I dont think you have the right to do that either.
2006-11-09 07:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, the appropriate way would have been for her to explain to her 8 year old that it's the way babies eat. They don't have teeth and their systems cannot handle solid foods so they have to get their nourishment this way. It was the way he got his nourishment when he was a baby as well. Since he is now a "big boy" and no longer a baby it's not the way he gets his nourishment. Period.
However, don't make the mistake fo fighting with your boyfriend over his ex. Obviously she's an idiot and at the end of the day, people don't like to admit that they chose someone who was less than worthy. They think it reflects on them. My advice to you would be to secretly know she's whacked and don't volunteer that information to him unless he specifically asks you.
2006-11-09 03:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by fastlanejiggy 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Not incestuous, but eeewwww. Is kind of gross.
I saw on TV a while back about a woman who let her kids breastfeed until they got bored with it... she had a 12 year old who occasionally breastfed. She said she'd been lactating for like 14 years. I thought it was absolutely disgusting.
2006-11-09 04:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥♥ Mommy to Two ♥♥♥ 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
An 8 year old boy! Yes very wrong!!! If the child was 2-3 I could understand. But 8. It is not right.
2006-11-09 03:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, that is totally wrong. That is an inappropriate way to deal with jealousy. An 8 year old needs to find another way to cope.
Thinking of all the psychological implications of doing something like that makes my head hurt. It's bad for everyone. 8 years is too close to puberty so it is sexual at that point... it puts the Mom at his service... teaches him to be a tyrant.. I could go on and on!
2006-11-09 03:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is way wrong. The child is way too old to be attached to the breast even if it was just for a moment. I think any child over like 18 mos is too old. Once they can drink from a cup and eat solid food and be weaned from the bottle then I think they are too old.
2006-11-09 03:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by pyxiegyrl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
8 yrs old is too old to be breast feeding. The parents should tell the kid that people grow out of things as they age and grow into new things. No you didn't overreact.
2006-11-09 03:48:06 · answer #10 · answered by Bear 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋