My partner and I went through a rough patch during which I really hurt him. Although he couldn't bring himself to look at me he told me he loved me. Now we've got everything back on track and things have been perfect for months. We are maintaining a long distance relationship now (I have moved away for a year for family reasons) and I miss him terribly. The last couple of weeks I have started to doubt the way he feels and wondered if things will work out - he has cheated on past girlfriends and recently he has gone for a few long periods without responding to calls/texts, which he explains is because he's been busy with his family, work etc. I am seeing him this weekend and want to tell him that I love him, but the only time I have said this he didn't say anything in response, which is why I haven't said it again. I'm not sure what I'm really asking, sorry - but should I tell him I love him or ask him how he feels about everything first?
2006-11-09 03:32:46 · 19 answers · asked by mishmash 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Perhaps he never really forgave you for hurting him and found it hard to trust you since. Perhaps he is also feeling rejected by you moving away. It's very hard to maintain a long distance relationship but often people get on better because they aren't around to get under each others' feet and argue about the petty things in life. Perhaps that's why you've been getting on so well. However, he may feel that because you hurt him in the past, you're doing it again whilst you're away from him. He may be doing the same thing out of loneliness and assuming that you're up to the same anyway! If you want to save this relationship you've got to have a really really good chat with him this weekend and encourage him to be really open with you. You need to be honest with yourselves as to whether the relationship has any mileage or whether you need to call it a day.
2006-11-09 03:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it all sounds very complicated, but at the same time maybe it is something special that you have worked on it and come a long way
i dont think you will embarass yourself in anyway, even if he doesnt respond to what you say - just be honest with him, tell him how you feel, dont dig up the past, and say you feel you and him should take your relationship to the next level.
are you going to continue the long distance relation or are you now in a situation of being together again ?
if you are ready then you should just tell him - without worrying whether he feels the same way or not - if he needs time, give him
good luck and remember - you have someone special in your life to love !!
2006-11-09 03:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you see him, you should tell him EXACTLY how you feel. AT least that way you have said everything you got to say and you will never regret not saying nothing. They say you regret the things YOU DONT DO, and look back on the things you have done and learn from them if they didnt go your way.
Seriously, if you dont tell him how you feel, you will regret it. If his reply is not good enough, and when i say not good enough, i mean in your heart you will know and you will get a feeling that he is lying to you or he dont feel the same way. You will just feel it. And if it is like that. Just say, "look its ok, you obviously dont feel the same way, i will deal with the way i feel and move on, dont worry about it i am a big girl". Dont be horrible to him, just be overaly nice and say thanks for leading me on etc...
But he might feel the same way, you dont know and you wont know unless you put yourself on the line, you will feel vunrable doing this, but this is the only way to get most men to open up, is if you have put yourself on the line first so they feel abit more comfortable. He will in turn, tell you what he feels.
If it does go all t!ts up, dont be ashamed or embarressed. It aint a shameful thing is it really, you have been in a relationship for a long time, so its not as if you dont know each other. If you aint comfortable with him, are you sure he is the one for you. ?? If it dont work out, there are plenty more in the sea love and i PROMISE you, you will catch one soon enough. Its inevitable aint it really, theres men everywhere, so dont dwell too much if it aint what you want, you never know what is round the corner. !!
ps. Always remember that you are worth 10+ of any man!!
Goodluck girl. xx sam x
2006-11-09 03:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CAUTION::::LONG ANSWER!!!
If u love him scallywag then tell him u love him...it's about your feelings for him..
it will be a weight off your shoulders, we shouldn't just tell people we love them in order to hear it back, we tell them we love them because we mean it, amd our heart is bursting with wanting to tell them.... if u really do love him then u will have shown him that u love him and don't really need to say those words but it seems as if this is really something that u want to say and if that's so, u really mean it and feel it then tell him, regardless about what his asnwer will be...
put it this way u say that u could never say those words before... did he say them to u? how did this make him feel over the years not to hear it back from u after him opening up and telling u he loves u?? maybe it was a silly game of his last time not to answer u with what u wanted to hear... maybe he wanted u to feel what it's like.
when u tell him u love him and he doesn't respond to it, or maybe even finishes the relationship, then u won't have any regrets in the future. u'll know that he finished the relationship knowing that u love him... if u don't tell him and he finishes, u may just be sitting here next year asking us the question "should i have told my boyfriend last year that i loved him....... would it have changed the outcome?"
take the risk, you'll see if he's worth it! what are you afraid of, do u want to stay in a relationship where it's unrequited love? it's better to know where u stand, even if it hurts... the truth quite often does.
I hope it works out for u both! ;)
2006-11-09 04:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwe... I think you need to tell this guy that two of of you MUST talk about your relationship and where your both at in it right now. Him not saying 'I love you' should have been a key to you backing off. At least I would have backed off. From personal experience.. It really sucks when guys don't reply to texts or call you back or answer their phones... and from personal experience they're probably not busy... The two of you are in a long distance relationship... he should want to talk to you as much as possible... So when you tell him the two of you need to discuss your relationship... you should prepare yourself for a big let down... I hate to say it, but all signs are pointing to... he's over it, or well you...
2006-11-09 03:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you open the floodgates you have to be prepared for the worst. Sounds like you both have issues with the relationship and if you can talk about them together maybe things can work out.
I would open up and tell him how you feel - but don't expect a specific answer. Could be a make or break conversation
2006-11-09 07:34:19 · answer #6 · answered by iamscoochie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he sounds like a rat but you love who you love, personally don't say anything to him especially i love you big no no be in control your self he thinks you love him and he don't care if he hurts you done the dirty once twice will do again he thinks coz you love him he can keep you hanging so don't say it just be cool and ask how hes been, don't mention the relationship blokes hate it if tables are turned, sit back and wait you will soon find out how he really feels
2006-11-09 08:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by scooby/et 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good question honey..
I beleive that he still remebers the last time u asked him this question and that he never replied.
I say u let HIM do th etalking I mean saying this thing out loud, otherwise this time he might and will agree just so that u sdont leave him (even if he doesnt feel it THAT DEEP) coz he is already embarassed or atleast was. I really think that it is kindof about time he speaks up about his feelings...Is he really reserved about his feelings and all?
Does he just expect that u will understand ..Really now..seems like u like him alot.
Hope the two of u get together if its good for the both of u.
I am just giving a suggestion from what u told about him.U know him better!
beast of Luk:)
2006-11-09 03:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that there are a few underlying problems here. Meet somewhere, like a quite cafe or bar where you can talk privatley and on" no ones terrority" You have to get everthing out in the open before you move on, put your cards on the table both of you.
Do not tell him you love him right away, try and get him to open up and tell you his real feelings.
2006-11-09 03:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by chocolategirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bless ya, i had the exact same situation. we're still in the process of sorting it out, i think you should tell him. my fella had a thing where he dint say it back to me for a bit but i dint stop telling him because i really did love him. you shouldnt be saying it just to hear it tho. if you feel it, say it. he just mite need some time to come round. the past cheating would worry me tho, leopards and all that but saying that you cant really judge on past behaviour, if you dont trust him completely then have a heart to heart and tell him your fears. good luck
2006-11-09 03:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋