well thats how i feel or maybe its just the babyblues but hes not comming home from work and hes drinking more and he seem just a diffrent person and he said hes ok but when i talk too him he seem fine but a little while later he seems so distant, I mean it is what it is im gonna have a baby but why do things have to change?
2006-11-09 02:40:36 · 12 answers · asked by lovely_lightskin 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think a certain amount of adjustment is natural but shouldn't be an excuse for acting like a child. You are also adjusting and he should remember that.
Things do have to change when you are having a baby. (for him and you) The baby needs responsible adults to care for him/her --people who are able to put the baby's needs first no matter what the consequences.
Drinking more and not coming home from work are not good signs. You need support through your pregnancy and after too. You should be there for each other.
Reassure him that you love him and the baby won't change that fact. If his behaviour doesn't improve you should consider whether or not to stay with him. He is equally a part of this new life and should realize that.
Don't choose to make your man feel better by sacrificing your own happiness or that of your baby.
I hope it all work out and he comes to his senses! If not I wish you strength as well to stand up for yourself and your baby.
2006-11-09 02:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by artimis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, when you go through the "baby change" he is as well. Did he have a father growing up? A stable home, mom bros sisters? All these are running through his head. He is going through all the scenarios, " AM I READY? WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER THE BABY I S BORN? WHAT IF WHAT IF" he is just as scared if not more so than you. If you guys have an open relationship, sit down and talk to him. What ever you do don't blame "you should feel like this" etc. If you feel better writing a letter and leaving it by the door voicing your concerns in depth do it that why. I feel like it with get better, I'm 5 months and this little one kicks like Beckham. Trust me, it should get better as long as he isn't blowing all his money on booze, that's when you put up a red flag!
2006-11-09 11:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by dpenick_84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him some time and space right now, he's going through a lot as well. In many eays pregnancy is harder on the man than it is on the woman. I know that sounds odd, but men get this macho "I have to take care of everything RIGHT NOW" syndrome, and they all go through it. The farther along you get and the more he relaxes the better things will get. Just talk to him and let him deal with this on his own, this is 100% normal! Be glad, that just means he wants to take care of you guys, he's just putting a lot of thought into a plan. Good luck and CONGRATS!!
2006-11-09 10:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably thinks that these are his final days of freedom, so he is going a little overboard. Give he a little time, but not too much. If he is still acting like this a month down the road, than you have to sit down with him and have a talk. Be sure to include him in your prenatal appointments. Once he hears that little heart beat, he will become a different man (again!). Good luck and hang in there. Oh yeah...AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
2006-11-09 10:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's dealing with feelings of insecurity. Best thing you could do is find a male friend that he trusts, one that has kids that can empathize with him and help him work through this.
He may be feeling lots of different things like, fear of you still loving him or will you love the baby more, insecurity over the rapid changes in you as well as your mood swings, feelings of inadequacy as a potential dad, fear of not being able to provide.
2006-11-09 10:56:35 · answer #5 · answered by meoorr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby did the same thing, just give him time and when the baby comes he will focus his attention on the baby. I have heard that most mean go thru the pregnancy with you feeling angry, upset, and drinking is a way that he is dealing with emotion right now. dont worry and just him his space and time and he will come around. My hubby did .
2006-11-09 10:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to tell him to get his act together babyblues or not. and that u dont want him to b that way when the baby arrives. Its stressing u out, if u r stressed the baby is.
2006-11-09 10:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by UKNOUCIT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just doing a lot of thinking, sweetie. I mean, its a huge deal to become a father!
Also, you are very sensitive right now! Try not to read into anything too much.... he will get more excited later on.
2006-11-09 10:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Fluffy Rover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things WILL change, you can't avoid that. Having a baby changes EVERYTHING. Part of it could be your hormones, you could be making more of his mood than there really is. Just relax. If he is more distant, you may want to seek counciling.
2006-11-09 11:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No worries most men react diffrently some are distant like you've explain and others are bug-a-boo's!Just show that your verry happy and doing well..it will all pass soon...
2006-11-09 10:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by R.J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋