Tips on teaching teenagers the consequences of their decisions?

Question

We have a junior who has dropped out of clubs, didn't play soccer this year, doesn't want to get a part time job, and just seems happy to sit home and watch tv. Her good grades haven't suffered. How do we teach that life requires more than a minimum effort?

Answer 1

i dont know....if shes doing fine in school then why does it matter so much.
I sit around my dorm everyday playing video games up to ten hours yet i still hold a 5.0 gpa.

Answer 2

Ugh... I remember what that was like. I don't know if you can really push her at this point. Just be thankful she is not on drugs. Sounds, though, like she is depressed a little. Is she planning on college, because Junior year is the time to go looking at colleges. If she is, maybe take her to see some colleges she likes and have her talk with some of the students or admissions people and have her ask about club involvement and how that pertains to the admissions process and is very important. If she finds a school that inspires her and she loves, she might be motivated to get back in the game.

Another good idea would be to just remove the television. She'll get bored without it and become productive again probably. You don't even have to make it seem like it is a punishment on her, you can just say you felt that it made you all less productive and then live by example and you show how active you can become without the TV and she might follow your example.

The teenage psyche is so fragile. You never know how they'll interpret your good intentions. Just don't lecture or force her to do anything, that is useless in this stage of life. You need to inspire her and have her find a goal she loves, not one you force on her.

Answer 3

Chores.

Every member of the family needs to contribute. If your not going to work to help with your own expenses then work should be done while you are at home. It should be presented as a matter of fact and not a teaching/learning experience. Until she is making enough money for a life of privilege she will never understand the cost of that privilege.

It’s about doing your fair share no matter how little it may seem it contributes to the rest of the group that are doing their fair share.

Answer 4

I think it's fine for kids to want more free time. School plus homework is already a full-time job. If she needs some time to relax, it's fine. If you have a full-time job, how many outside activities are you involved in? My husband has a full-time job and is not involved in any activities except church but no one thinks he's a slacker or putting in "minimum effort".

However I would take issue with the amount of TV. We don't allow any in our house.

Answer 5

You should have been teaching these life requirements all along. It's a lot easier to re-inforce behavior, than try to change directions when you've always been going one direction. You can't start teaching things when they become teens, you have to have had some values and a rules in place prior to the teen years. I'm thinking if you take the t.v. away for a while, let her know that the tv isn't an entertainment option any longer, that may be a step in the right direction.

Answer 6

Perhaps she is suffering from depression or as a young woman just is at the point she needs to sit back and think about what she wants in life.

Answer 7

Think you should let her get her head together. Sounds like she may be depressed and needs some professional help. It's nice that her grades are good but what does she plan to do when she gets out of high school?

Has she has a romantic disappointment? Does she date? Does she go out with friends?

Do you think your are possibly too strict with her?

Answer 8

is he old enough to work? in most places they have to be 16 to work.

my 2 learned, at 16, if you don't earn it, you don't get it. and they know when they turn 18, they get it, they get out. so they better be ready