Is it faith i see, when thers alexander tha great
when im openin every door, befo' its 2 late
if theres anythin i can relate to, its gotta be fate
relyin on consequences, im daring everthin possible
so incase i dont make it right, its not very noticeable
ive ventured what they havnt, relyin on good health
encouraged by my love, i dont think much of my wealth
a sweet voice lifts me up, it keeps tellin me to go
i can reach past my limits, since everyday i grow
percieve a threat, its just gona bring me down
just the knowledge to keep in mind,b4 i fall nd hit tha ground
so tell me if im wrong, since i do believe in karma
its love in my eyes, the one im lovin has always been my armour...
2006-11-09 02:07:52 · 14 answers · asked by Farpandaaaaaa 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
Don't give up the day job!
2006-11-09 02:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by bluenose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, I'd rather drink the contents of a vaginal douche than listen to that crap. Why are you wasting your time? Get a job, stop messing about, you're not a wordsmith, you never will be. Your lyrics are just lame.
Are you paying for your own release? I can't see anyone actually signing you off the back of that poop.
Poor rhymes, randomly thrown in references to historical figures you know nothing about other than from Hollywood films, in order to fit two lines together. None of it fits, none of it makes sense, poor rhyming structure, lack of rhythm to the structure. Need I go on?
Seriously, learn to read, then try to learn to write. If you don't know more than two words that rhyme, go back and learn. Very very poor show.
2006-11-10 03:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by willliewaggler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rhyme scheme in the first three lines is messed up.
It should be two lines that end in rhyming words, if that's what you use in the rest of the song.
The words don't quite rhyme in some spots, but that's easily fixed by delivery and minor changes.
And some of the lines are too long. They don't fit in the meter.
If you fix the first three lines, change the lengths of some of the lines and fix the bad rhymes, it will be GREAT.
Much better than I could ever do.
Good luck.
2006-11-09 02:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by notwanted94 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alexander the Great? The whole thing sounds like something my brother wrote when he was 8 years old. I'm sorry to tell you, but that was rubbish.
Karma/Armour...
..Awful. Stick to working in Tesco.
2006-11-09 02:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Shinny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats pretty good man! u should set up a myspace music if you havent already, and upload your songs.
My friend wants to be a rapper too hes actually pretty good, just keep working and u can make it Major, but theres nuthin wrogn witha minor.. people like Luda, and Mf Doom started independant and worked their way up
2006-11-09 02:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yo! ther gr8 man! but the thing is you shouldn't have put them on ere cas people could opy them and use them before you!!
but these are great! cnt w8 2 c ya m'cin!
2006-11-09 02:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe its because i'm white, but i dont understand your alexander the great reference.
2006-11-09 02:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by catfish_alomar_jr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it thnk its good... 1 of my frnds workin on his rap skills 2... dnt let none of dese hoes out here put u down..keep it up :)
2006-11-09 02:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by 092 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They're wack jack!
2006-11-09 02:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by Roninja 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, where did you copu that ffrom?
2006-11-09 02:10:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋