I've been with my bd for 6 years on and off. Right now I am in the states and he is in germany for military, we were there but i had to come back for my sons surgery. being the snoop i am I found emails to other woman from months ago that were def not platonic. I am devestated but he never slept with these women. I have cheated on him 3 times and he knows this because I told him while we were seperated for some time. He gave me a second chance, would I be stupid to give him one? We also have an issue about him still being married. But the divorce WAS started but his wife won't sign, she told me this herself. He's been lying about the divorce but said he did it to not lose me. I changed myself. I do know he loves me. I am confused of what to do. I spoke to him and now he tells me he he doesn't know what he wants. I feel if he wants me he should fight, but I brought his wife into the situation and now he fears losing his son. What should I do, fight for him or let him go?
2006-11-09 02:00:14 · 8 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hey girl its a tough decision, but i think you know what u need to do...just free yourself from all the lies and pain and everything... there's plenty of mean out there so just let it go.....who needs all the hassle with it..the lying, he's still married .....what a mess..clean it up...good luck
2006-11-09 02:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well let me be forward with you, I am a former soldier and my ex was in the army as well. We started at one duty station together and then ended up apart because he switched branches. As you should know the Army is not a place for a healthy relationship as there is a lot of temptation. Although you so called cheated you didn’t because you all weren’t together at the time he will never forgive and let it go. Men are very different from women see we forgive and they on the other hand only feel the shattering of their ego which they can never let go. My ex told me the same thing after he denounced our relationship by just cutting me off without notice that “He was unsure what he wanted” which translates he’s weighing his options and seeing other women right now. As for the fact that he’s married if he wanted a divorce he would have gotten one and for what ever reasons he didn’t that isn’t respectful of you and your wishes. With that said hold on to your pride let him know what you want and expect and just leave him be if he wants you he knows how to find you or call. If you ask me he’s just having the “fun” that being in the Army affords many men!
2006-11-09 10:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This entire relationship sounds like bad news. There are red flags going up everywhere. First of all, any relationship that requires you to "change yourself" is bad for you. Secondly you both have a history of cheating. Who says you won't do it again if things get rough in the marriage? Thirdly he is still very much tied up in his previous marriage, and he has been lying about it...
I have no doubt that you love this guy but you need to ask yourself if all this is worth it. Is he truly in love with you? Is he willing to sacrifice everything for you, commit to absolute monogamy, stick by you through thick and thin, and be HONEST with you? How about accepting you for who you are?
I would get out before this just continues to cause more and more heartbreak.
2006-11-09 10:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Pepper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? Please don't be offended but you two sound like a train wreck of a relationship. All of this is just too unstable. You need to have a serious, adult, no cheating relationship. I would urge you to get some therapy and find out what is blocking you from finding the kind of man you deserve.
2006-11-09 10:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have to say that neither one of you are ready for commitment. if you've cheated on him 3 times and he won't divorce his wife, something has to give. do both of yourselves a favor. move on. you find someone who you can be comitted to and let him deal with his issues on his own.
2006-11-09 10:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by Darin C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer. Maybe you should really read what you wrote and answer it just as it was someone elses.
2006-11-09 10:04:41 · answer #6 · answered by Itry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to that question. You should leave.
2006-11-09 10:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by tdashnay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him go
2006-11-09 10:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by space case 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋