I just think that if there were cartoon bubbles during the wedding, the guys bubble would say, "Now, we can have sex all the time!" and the girl's bubble would say, "Thank God, now I don't have to have sex with him all the time." Thoughts?
2006-11-09 01:43:37 · 20 answers · asked by TrainerMan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sexual relations decreasing after marriage has been the butt of all marriage jokes for decades. The truth of the matter is, once you get married, you gain a handful of new responsibilities. After kids, you get even more. So eventually, when you're a family unit your responsibilities will override your sexual relationship. Life gets busy. And for women, between your son's football practice, and your daughter's ballet classes, and cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and preparing a meal for the family, we get tired. When men often forget though, is it doesn't take much to get us in the mood.
Based on your question, I am going to presume that you are having this issue in your marriage. We had it in ours as well. When you and your wife turn in for the night, try offering to rub her back. If you caress her a bit, and show her how much you appreciate what she does, she will warm up to you. Women identify themselves with their family and home. So after a long day of perfecting those two things, it can be emotionally tiring. And emotional fatigue is a bigger factor in their sex drive, than physical fatigue is.
Oh and by the way...I asked my husband your question, and his answer was "yes".
2006-11-09 01:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by kari w 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is coming from a divorced woman not a married man, lol, but . . . .
I do think your cartoon bubble is close to what happens. I don't think it's a conscious decision on the womans side not to want to have sex all the time, though. Life and changing responsibilities (especially if there are kids and she has to deal with her body changing and hormonal highs and lows) take up a lot of that time and energy that used to go into the sex life. Plus, I think expectations and the way you were raised play a big part in that. Did your parents have non-stop sex all of the time? Is that what you remember most about growing up is all of the sex your parents had? Chances are your answer is no. Her answer would probably be no, also.
If I had it to do all over again I would have rearranged a lot of my priorities and put more energy into my sex life. I also would have ate better, exercised more, quit my job when my son was born, and appreciated my husband more blatantly (I appreciated him but didn't 'show' him in the way men respond to - sexually). After my ex left I read a book by Suzanne Somers call 'The Sexy Years' - if my ex and I had only both read that book years ago it may have made some difference. Another good read is 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. It may not have made a huge difference in my case (my ex is bipolar) but I think it would have helped us some.
Every married man I have interviewed since my ex left has made me understand how important a healthy sex life is in a relationship and how much emphasis men put on sex. It is as much a physical need for them as an emotional one. Men tend to equate sex with love. No sex, no love? For women, their emotional needs have to be met for them to get 'more physical'. It's one of those vicious circles, I guess, lol.
Just my thoughts and observations . . .
2006-11-09 10:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is some truth to that.
Reason being on the Man's side "the sex game" involves various Means to SEX an an end;
while on the Woman's side SEX itself is a "Mean" to various "End games", that we as Men don't usually quite understand until she takes the ball and stops playing.
All of this to a certain degree happens subconsciously, and is only Hearsay. I'm usually wrong anyway, if not with what I say with how I say it...
2006-11-09 10:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by JahMekYa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you raise a question but don't really consider the reality of it, the journey of life to this point has made us what we are today. the person we where way back then are not the person i am today, based on what i knew back then i made the best decisions in my life for me at the time, thou the journey since then has not been the way i have planned it I can honestly say i would not change a thing because that journey has made me what i am today, if i could do it all over again i would perhaps have married my current wife a lot sooner.
2006-11-09 10:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kari's answer.......once the two have a family, there are so many more responsiblities.....I am willing to bet, if you take away a married woman's responsibilities (i.e. cleaning, cooking, carting kids around, helping with homework, laundry, grocery shopping, etc) and told her all you wanted her to be was your sex goddess, she would JUMP AT THE CHANCE! But unfortunalty, most guys couldn't afford to hire enough people to do all the jobs his wife does on a DAILY basis.
Just my thoughts and no, I am not married.
2006-11-09 10:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been 20 years of marriage for me and I would marry my spouse again tomorrow. I like your tongue in cheek bubble joke . There is some truth to that in many instances ha,ha but it's been all good for me I wouldn't have things any other way really.
2006-11-09 09:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha.
i thing i would change a few things, but yes .
from the pass of the years we get more understandable Whit the women we have.
in the beginning we have a few things that we don't like , and that makes us leave her our simply tread her for another
the more time we have together the more we understand about ourselves .
in the end of my life maybe ill have that question asked for my self
until then i have no doubt that she,s the women of my dreams.
yes , i would marry her again.
by the way I'm only 2 years of marriage
Orbytall
2006-11-09 09:49:40 · answer #7 · answered by orbytall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know my husband would not marry me again. Anyway many people are happy in marriage.
What you saw was a joke with a bottom of truth. It is possible to live together and be happy even though.
2006-11-09 09:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say no. Things were different with us before we got married and then afterwards things changed alot. We have seperated twice in the 41/2 years we have been married. If I could see how things would be I would not have done it.
2006-11-09 10:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by Shocker3:16 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
marriage is not all about sex - that's what the pre marriage years are for...
marraige is about growth - sharing - & caring
but mostly having the time of your life with that special person
--this all may sound corny but analyse any successful marriage and notice the key ingredients.
2006-11-09 09:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by master woochin 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋