I'm 15, 2 years ago my relationship with my parents was destroyed. I did some bad stuff, was a bit lost. I agree I was wrong, fought a lot w/ them and my younger sister. I ended up getting a kinda harsh punishment, was grounded from everything for 4 months, only school and house work. My dad even spanked me. I changed but got extremely humiliated and in a deep depression. Today I'm an excellçente students, deal with chidren in need, my parents say they are proud of me. But I stopped loving them, so intense my resentment was. I became a stranger, respectful but no love, like I didn't belong to the family. I could never get over hat happened, though they tried to get me back. They decided we should go to counselling. I opened my heart and told my parents and the counsellor, very calmly, and without anger that I don't really like them and intend to leave them forever when I'm 18. That's how I feel, this isn't a teen reaction. They didn't expect that, but I had to be honest.
2006-11-09 01:23:09 · 27 answers · asked by Ana M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
That's how I feel, nothing can be done. I don't hate my parents, but can't get ovr what they did to me, they were extremely harsh and showed they didn't love me when I was in trouble. Even the therapist was caught by surprise with my attitude, but I was honest
2006-11-09 01:23:36 · update #1
No. A lot of parents go through divorce. It's not anything to do with you. You just have to be more grown up about the situation (like you want to be). Your parents will ALWAYS be your parents whether they're together or not. They will both love you equally too until the day they die. You should rekindle this relationship with your parents. If YOU were to die tomorrow, would you be happy with this decision you're making now or would you regret that you didn't make ammends? Your mom and dad need you to try to understand that they just couldn't make the marriage work. It's gonna be better for the whole family this way. Try to keep that open mind and wish for the best! Life's gonna throw you lemons, just make lemonade! You can't hold grudges against your folks for doing the best they can to ensure their childrens' happiness. They're going through stress too, you just need to be the child and live your life with no worries. Just learn from this...don't settle down with someone for the wrong reasons. Make sure you love him/her first before you make such a commitment. They made a mistake and they're trying their best to make it better....it'll all work out in the wash. I promise. Be strong, your parents need you too!
2006-11-09 01:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I never understood my mother when she told me that one day I would grow up and realize why they did the things they did. And now that I am an adult I realize it. My parents and i had a rocky relationship and I moved out when I was 17. Living on your own is very hard and one day you will realize that you need your parents even though you dont feel that way now. It takes time to mend the wounds...but I think that you will find that it really IS teenage feelings. I thought my parents were terrible and I "hated" them. You are really young. Don't abandon them because of past errors. Maybe you should look inside yourself and see how you can change. They are adults and have lived longer and been through more, and honey...you will be there one day too. Hind sight is 20/20.
2006-11-09 10:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by pppersephone06 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your parents thought they were showing you love when punishing you. It's called tough love. I hope that with the counseling you are able to mend your relationship with your parents. In some cases, it will not happen. I have feelings towards my parents that border on hate sometimes and it is because of things that happened when I was a child. We never went to counseling as a family because they would never had admitted how things were really going. I can understand you were humiliated, but if you have repaired your relationship enough to respect them, then maybe the love will return. I am sure you hurt them by what you said but parents always love you. I wish you luck with everything.
2006-11-09 09:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Army Wife 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave them completely. Try to start over again. Push the past behind and away from you...no one should ever leave their parents and they don't deserve that. Think about what your doing before you leave for good...it could be the biggest mistake of your life...don't give up hope...they love you and deep down you know that their is a small flame still burning with love them...don't give up on them they need you just as much as you need them even if you don't see it right now. What they did wasn't harsh. If you did something bad that went against their wishes then you deserved to be punished. I think how YOU reacted was over the top...just my opinion. They helped you...you said now your a good student and and you help others and their PROUD of you...they helped you. They punished you to get you out of what you were doing. TO make you think about what you were doing.
They were trying to keep you from throwing out your life and if you leave then your going to show them that their work wasn't for much because they don't get to see your grow into a competant adult who will one day hopefully get married and have a family with someone. Hopefully you'll realize how much you'll miss as well...
2006-11-09 16:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by IyLoOuVsEuYcOkU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably should be asking yourself why you are trying to manipulate an answer instead of asking a real question. You tell us what was done to you but what do you tell us that you did? You “did some bad stuff.” Clearly you have told one side of the story. You will need your parents much more than they will ever need you. This is not a time to get even because sometimes what you wish for comes true.
2006-11-09 11:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by Raylene G. 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
do you really think that because they punished you, they didn't love you? if they didn't love you they would have done nothing. they would have let you run wild and do whatever you want and not care what happened to you. i don't know what you did or any of the circumstances but i know that when i was your age i was wild. not wild enough to get into any trouble, so my parents never found out the full extent of all that i did. but i look back now and see that the restrictions they put on me were done to protect me and keep me safe. being grounded and spanked doesn't seem like a trigger that would cause love to stop. maybe there are deeper issues?
2006-11-09 09:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by somebody's a mom!! 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Honey, what your parents did to punish you does not sound extreme. Probably appropriate for what you did wrong. My parent's spanked me from the time I was little and would probably spank me today (I'm 22) if he thought I needed it. In fact, my dad spanked my older sister when she was 18! And we're all perfectly fine and love and respect our father for disciplining us. What you have to understand is that your parents don't punish you because they hate you, it's the exact opposite. They punish you because they love you. They want you to see the error or your way so that you correct it. And it sounds like you have corrected it so it seems to have worked. You just have to figure out on your own that they didn't punish you and ground you for 4 months because they don't like you, but because they love you. You have to forgive them on your own, no one else can do that. I think the older you get, and the more you start remembering the things your parents taught you growing up, you'll respect their decision and love them again.
If you really think you have it bad, meet some children whose parents abuse them, verbally, physically and sexually. I could understand their feelings towards their parents more than I could understand why you feel the way you do about yours. You're blessed to have parents that are concerned about your well-being and the kind of person you grow up to be. Best of luck!
2006-11-09 09:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What they did obvously changed your attitude on life. You are no longer a bad kid, you are a kid they are proud of because you have turned your life around. They did what they did to help you, even though you don't want to beleive it. They may not have been exactly correct on everything they did but they did do their best. They probibly thought they were running out of time and options to get you to behave and they did what they thought was best.
You need to get over what they did and think about how hard they tried, they never gave up on you...why would you give up on them? You will understand when you have kids of your own.
2006-11-09 10:39:12 · answer #8 · answered by pelenpuppy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I thik you should realize that your punishment was not harsh at all. Just be glad your parents cared enough to try to help you learn a lesson. Some teenagers are thrown out of there houses and are beaten . Just be glad they spanked you instead of putting there ciggarette out in your eye.
2006-11-09 12:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by Alice G 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your parents probably saw a desperate situation and did whatever they could to save you from whatever it was you were involved in. They probably saw no other way. I think you're being honest about how you feel, especially from a young person's perspective, but I also think you must be really ungrateful for what you have. You obviously have two parents who love you so much they were willing to do what it took to hold onto you, and not lose you to your bad behavior. They were even willing to alienate you in order to save you from it. I think when you get older, and maybe even have kids of your own, you'll see this in a different light.
2006-11-09 09:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by sadiemylady 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋