I cheated and told on myself???

Question

My fiance and I have been together for 10 months and engaged for 6 and I cheated on him about a month and a half into our relationship! I didnt have any strong feelings for him then so I didnt tell until two days ago!!! He has always told me that if i ever cheat on him, he will leave but when i told him he just cried and said that he love me too much to leave and that he forgave and begged me to never make the same mistake again and ofcourse so being that I do love him very much now I agreed but my question is if he forgave and I gave him my word for this to never happen again, will this still affect our relationship in any way?

Answer 1

Give it time and see if he brings it up again, etc. Some people CAN forgive and forget, others will hold it over your head forever. You have to see what type he is. He may want to discuss it again, which is okay and understandable, as long as he doesn't beat you to death with it!!! This may take a few months to figure out.....GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 2

It will be hard for him to trust you for a while, you will have to regain his trust. Another thing, if he is like everyone else I know that has been cheated on, every time you two have an argument he will probably throw this in your face. If he starts asking you a lot of questions like where have you been, what did you do, were you with any guys, and other questions like these, just remember what you done and how badly it hurt him. Eventually the trust will be regained if you don't cheat anymore. Try putting yourself in his shoes, it doesn't feel so good does it? I've been in his place before, and it took a long time for me to trust my bf, but we eventually got back to where we were before he cheated and we are still together today. It was 5 1/2 years ago!! We have a beautiful baby girl, and life is great!! So hang in there, if the love between you two is as strong as you say it is, you guys will be fine in the long run!!! Good Luck!!!!

Answer 3

Infidelity is always destructive, and often fatal, to a relation.
Healing always begin with a person acknowledging their need, and accepting responsibility for what they have done. Nowhere is this truer than in the case of infidelity. To recover from trauma, a victim has a natural tendency to go back to the traumatic experience, questioning, going over details repetitiously: “What did you do? Where? When? How often?” The traumatized fiance must go over the events until the emotional distress caused by them becomes manageable. They must reach a point where they feel there are no more surprises. sually the guilty spouse is reluctant to allow others to know, but it is essential that the betrayed fiance have someone to talk to other than the person who has betrayed them. While the trauma victim needs repetitious questioning and examining in order to master the trauma response, they also need time to turn their focus away from the trauma.
t is a difficult time for either fiance to be objective, but it is important for them to evaluate themselves and their relationship, and to make changes. Infidelity is usually a symptom of a weakness in a person or marriage, which can be corrected.
Healing takes time one to three years is nornally required.

Answer 4

Unfortunately it will affect your relationship in the future, and u need to be prepared for it. I have seen it over and over again with other couples. He says he forgives u and loves u, but it will be in the back of his mind for some time. It may come out in a future fight, he may be suspicious of u and distrusting. You will have to have patience and know these things are probably going to happen. It can work out but I am just saying that u need to expect that this is not the end of it. All you can do is listen to his fears, try to show him the love u feel for him and really work to make him feel he can trust u again. Make sure u work it all out, and that he is over it before u get married, you don't want to enter a marriage with someone who will never trust u. So give it some time so that the two of u can have a clean start for your marriage and not bring the past into it. I wish u the best.

Answer 5

My boyfriend cheated on me early in our relationship but he didn't tell me until after I had given birth to our daughter. I was very upset but was in no position to walk away. By this point we had been together for a year and half. I just wish he told me sooner. At least you told him before you were married. This gives him a chance to get used to the fact before he makes any big commitments. I wasn't given this chance which is what upset me the most when he did finally tell me. Our daughter is now four years old and we are breaking it off. Not because of what he did but because we just don't get along. I hope he really has forgave you and you should be proud of yourself for being honest and getting it out in the open. Best wishes!

Answer 6

I think you two need to cool out for a few. You've only known this guy for 10 months - and you're already engaged. How soon will you be married? To answer your question about Will this affect your relationship - that's where I think you need to give your relationship more time - more time to get to know one another and to build a more solid foundation BEFORE being engaged and married. YOU'LL be able to see how the both of you act and react during situations.

Answer 7

In the back of his mind he is going to feel that you are the type of person that holds secrets and he may not trust you as much as he did before. You've been with him for ten months and you wait to tell him someting like that now. Your dumb. When you first cheated, even though you weren't serious in the beginning, you should have told him, not after you guys get engaged. He should leave you. And you not telling him what you did shows that you are selfish and your conscience wasn't bothering you shows that you liked what you did and you might do it again...

Answer 8

The act of infidelity is the strongest test a relationship will face. Many relationships will not survive infidelity and will crumble apart. Even when there is forgiveness, the act of infidelity can be used as a tool against you as a tool of leverage by your finace. Most times, professional counseling is recommended to help initiate the true process of healing and to bring the issue in proper perspective. I would certainly put the marriage on hold until this issue is properly resolved.

Answer 9

Did you have you know what with this person, or did you kiss the person?? You are very lucky to have a person like that, willing to forgive you that is a great thing. But it can definetly come back to haunt you in the future, with the TRUST issue. He may become very nagging or either try to find out where you are going, what time you coming back, silly things like that. so yeah, but you just have to make it up to him, by telling him it was a very bad decision and that you hope that it doesn't hurt your relationship in anyway. just remember you are engaged not just some boyfriend you have. It is a serious thing when you are about to get married, just have a talk with him and let him know that you were sorry and willing to make it up to him.

Answer 10

A promise is a contract even if it is not written down in pen and paper, It is something that you don't take likely and you don't want to take a chance with on it.. Since he loves you and he has forgiven you I would take this opportunity and make every effort to make this man feel good and try to make yourself feel good too! You have a blessing and a second chance to make things right with him..Please take it because there are a very few people in this world gets the opportunity to have a chance to make things right...And you my dear is one of them so go and and make this man the happiest man on earth any you will reap the rewards later on down the road...Good luck and God bless.