I can't stop my terrible moods - but I need to treat my partner better - any suggestions?

Question

At the moment I am under immense pressure - I would really like to relax and chill out. I believe my partner is adding to my pressure but unintentionally - and I am snapping at him so bad at the moment. I want to stop - but everytime I try - I snap again! Does anyone have any suggestions to cope with quick firing anger?

Answer 1

This could be a chemical imbalance. I suggest you talk to your doctor about getting an Rx for Paxil. Good luck.

Answer 2

I was in exactly the same posisition as yourself , under immnese pressure at work, in a relationship etc

i suggest you see your GP as like someone else said it could be a chemical imbalance in the brain or something a bit deeper...I was diagnosed with depression sometime ago.. ie always snapping at my partner(s) losing my job etc.. but yesterday I had a diagnosis and I have found out that I am Aspergic/ADD so it would be wise to see you GP about this

Hope this helps in some way

Regards Storm

Answer 3

I was like that for a while and at times I didn't realize I was doing it until it finally came to a point people especially my husband got tired of it and started giving me my own medicine, trust me it left me with a bitter taste in my mouth having that done back to me. The best advice I can give you is what I had to do and that is calm down, go and relax either go and watch television by myself or read or go and take a walk for a while till I calmed down..Then I was able to talk in a more relaxed fashion..Now understand it took me to learn from a bad experience to correct the problem if I would have done this long ago I wouldn't have had that happen to me at all. Remember be calm also taking deep breaths help as well and you just relax and try these things and see if it works.

Answer 4

Maybe you need to talk to a therapist or get on some kind of medication for the time being. It couldn't hurt. Having sex with your poor husband might ease some of those tensions, too. I hope he's a patient guy. Just remember to apologize when you snap at him. Let him know how you're feeling and that you don't mean to be this way.
If all else fails, go on a weekend vacation alone. Away from everyone else. Maybe that's what you really need. Good luck.

Answer 5

Mood swings and irritability are closely related. We use “mood swing” to describe a reaction that isn’t appropriate to what triggered it. “Irritability” to most of us means an angry or impatient reaction to something that happens.

What causes mood swings and irritability? In both cases, the physiology is based on hormonal imbalance. The underlying cause may be fatigue — and if you’re having hot flashes or insomnia, you are very fatigued! But it can also be the sudden shifts in hormonal balance so characteristic of perimenopause, especially when your body doesn't have enough support to maintain its natural balance.

Mood swings and irritability have an emotional aspect as well. Perimenopause is a time when many women find their true voices. That’s a good and natural process. You may note the resurfacing of old emotional issues that remain unresolved. This work is important, not just to relieve your mood swings, but for your very health.

Women often come to us saying, “I thought I was losing my mind!” because they’re shocked by their mood swings and irritability. For them it’s a relief to know that their moods have a physical basis and can be relieved. There’s usually nothing wrong with you that you can’t fix by taking better care of yourself.

A mood diary can help you and your doctor monitor your illness. By gathering information about your mood, events in your life, sleep patterns and medications you are taking, you may notice patterns that would otherwise remain undetected. Taking your mood diary to your doctor will help him or her monitor your illness and treatment. If you find it difficult to complete the diary, a relative, partner or close friend may be able to help.
Try this site: http://www.psychiatry24x7.com/bgdisplay.jhtml?itemname=mooddiary

I have also suffered from this and it usually surfaces when i am under pressure and my hormones are out of balance.

There are medications, such as the pill for hormones or natural remedies such as Evening Primrose Oil that can help.

Good luck and may the force be with you (and your partner!)

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear this...why are you under immense pressure?

Is it work? Are you getting enough sleep?

This what happened to me...
I was snapping at my partner for no particular reasons but I was under a lot of stress at work were my manager does nothing but shouts at me or I did something wrong..After work I took it out on him because I bit my tongue at work and I come home and have it out on him. I then realise how bad it was I left my job... I broke down and told my partner why I left work and how it was affecting our relationship. He understood.. now our relationship couldn't be better...we spends more time together...we talk openly about anything that bugging us.. i haven't snapped at him over for 4 months now.. I've got my little business up and running and life couldn't be any better. Think before you snap...take a breather and calm yourself down...count to 10 and then speak to him in a normal tone.. or you'll just end up having an heart attack..

Good Luck and work it out.

Answer 7

We all do this, sometimes if it in long duration you may need help, you can try herbs like chamomile, passion flower or scullcap..if it is extreme you may need a low dosage prescription of something like Lexapro. Talk to your partner and let them know again how much pressure you are under, see if there is something that he can do to help..at least he will understand the next time you are snappy why you are that way and overlook it. Try counting to 10 before you say anything when you are annoyed. They say we should not talk when we are (HALT) Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired..because all of us have trouble communicating at these times. You may also want to consider a yoga class to help you unwind and put things in perspective at the end of your day. Good luck!

Answer 8

Don't ever take the sleeping pills route!!

1. They will damage your liver big time and you can get into serious health problems.

2. You will get hooked up on them and you won't be able to have a normal life any more if you don't take your pills everyday.

The sleeping pills industry is damaging our health by capitalizing on our ignorance, and by distracting people from effective and natural ways to deal with this problem. I had been taking prescription sleep medications [Ambien] for over 5 years. It stopped working and I simply took more. Still did not work. Nights were very difficult - medication put me to sleep but I would wake up after 2–3 hours with a strong sympathetic response (fast pulse, pounding heartbeat, wide awake alert). It was a very difficult cycle to break. I was really in bad shape due to lack of sleep.

After years of struggling I was able to cure my insomnia naturally and pretty fast. I followed the Sleep Tracks sleep optimization program, here is their official web -site if you want to take a look: http://www.insomniacure.net

Ohhh..and Good Luck!

Answer 9

Being a grown up requires us to be in control of our feelings and emotions and to be responsible for them. Just because you are having a bad time of it, doesn't mean the rules change. It means that someone who is in control of these, also can control the boiling over. You may have some control issues that can first be addressed by getting a good physical to rule out depression, hormonal imbalance and so on, that may contribute to your inability to stop yourself from pouncing on your poor man. You need to get checked to determine which it is? A lack of control on your part or some imbalance. Chances are, its not an imbalance, as you would have no control over it with others either, and would be experiencing this with friends, family and strangers. Since thats not what you said, I will assume, because he is the most immediate and closest object, he gets the brunt of it. I would suggest some anger management classes to learn ways to vent your frustrations in appropiate and not self destructive behaviours like you are experiencing now. At some point your whipping boy may find another, more stable girl to spend his time with if you don't get this under control, or you may just be able to make him miserable for years. Is that what you really want? Maybe you could sit down with him when you aren't angry, and have a talk with him, he may have some insight as to what you are experiencing and what he is feeling. It may be enough to open your eyes to hear someone say how you make them feel when you are misbehaving. Maybe you can have some code words, such as "darling, I thinks its time for a break and we can talk about this, say in 1 hour" and go set a timer, in that hour you may not have any further conversations or ranting, till the bell rings. You must work at this, or you will be one unhappy person for years to come. I commend you for recognizing you have some issues and taking steps to get it under control before you do some serious damage to your relationship with your man. I wish you well and feel you are being a big person by trying to improve yourself and make yourself more of what you want rather than just letting yourself go on like this. Good luck to you both!

Answer 10

its good you have realised you have a problem and wish to rectify it. we all suffer from stress in this modern hectic lifestyle, i think the only way to deal with it all is to be organised. do what you have to at work (remember work is not your whole life, just a segment of it). when you leave work try to leave work related problems there. eat well, exercise a bit, get your hormones checked out if you think the problems might stem from that. take a little time for yourself, have a relaxing bath. try to see things from your partners point of view, explain the pressures you are under, stress it is not their fault, and try to treat them as you would wish to be treated. it sounds silly, but the old thing about counting to ten before saying/doing anything really does work. or leave the room, take a few deep breaths then return to the problem. this will pass, best of luck x

Answer 11

I used to do that to my poor partner. Shame, i would wake up in such a mood for no reason at all. He then did the same to me and it made me realise just how nasty i was. I now leave the room, count to ten, or watch tv till i have cooled down. It was worth it, we are getting on so well now and we both have huge grins on our faces instead of sulking looks. It can be an hormone imbalance as well as Bipolar, not saying that is what it is it is just that is what a friend of mine has and she is getting help for it. Stress is a killer, it makes people do things they wont normally do why don't you go for Hipnotherapy it really does help.:)))