What should i do in relationship?

Question

I have been with my partner 3 years, last month he wanted a break, so i moved out for a month, In that break he met another girl and i find out he slept with her as i caught an STD. He denyed he remebered anything. Now i have found out by reading his text messages that she said that they had sex in our bed, once again he denied that and said she thought it was you texting her so she was trying to wind it up. I can not get her and him out my head. We were so happy when we got back together untill this happened. I cant help thinking about them together and it makes me sick i can not be same with him ie kisses and cuddles i also cant have sex. Is this something that will go as i do still love him and want to be with him, it just hurts knowing that he had sex with her either in my bed or elsewhere. I am just fed up with the lies. Please help i am going mad

Answer 1

you should be with some one who deserves your attention. Not someone who breaks it off with you so he could get it on with another girl guilt free.

Answer 2

Darling, this "man" is not worth all these tears. A boy who needs a break in his 3 year relationship, for no reason, is not a man, he is a boy. If he used his "break" to take up with another girl, then he in effect has told you that anytime he wants to have sex with someone else, he will need a "break" and when he feels like giving you an STD, he'll give you a call. Let me ask you, why is this boy so attractive to you? Is it the drive to have pushed out a competitor that strong in you? By now having him and she doesn't? Its a hallow vistory my dear and one that will bring you nothing but misery. The reason you aren't interested in sex, is its your brains way of telling you this guys is a bum and untrustworthy. Your brain knows what your heart doesn't, THIS BOY IS A BUM! The lies? Well, your heart knows he's lied and he's cheated, break or no break, and your relationship is not what you THOUGHT IT WAS. Would you like to invest more time and emotion in it to make it better? If he was trustworthy, told the truth and came clean and talked about what happened and why, you might have a chance, but not with him. Its over, this relationship is done, the trust is gone and if he can't be trusted, you are in for some more sad days ahead if you hang onto him. You will have a handful of promises and lies and none worth the emotional trauma you are going through. You deserve better and will begin to heal as soon as you let go of this garbage. Bag him, tag him and set him to the curb and tell his STD princess to come and get him, cause like me, he's DONE! Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Listen one thing I am not going to do is tell you that he cheated on you because you already know the answer to that, I know that you are in some pain and you have every right to be in that pain that is something that really doesn't go away that quick, especially if you are imagining them together and more worse than that in your own bed!

It is going to take some time to get over it and believe me it will take some time, I suggest that you take your time with it in general because it has been a traumatic thing for you and try to focus on the good things that you have with him instead of what just happened to you...For starters don't give up your man to that woman! Try to work it out especially since you say you still love him.. You made a mistake in opening the door as well and I believe you also know that too so also stop beating yourself up and hold your head up.. You are not going mad you are simply going through what every woman at one time has went through and that is a man that cheated on you...I have had that experience as well but I didn't give up and I didn't feel sorry for myself I kept moving and believe it or not I am still with the same man after 18 years...So see there is a light down this dark tunnel all you have to do is take your time don't let yourself get depressed and bent out of shape and don't give up your man!
Take it slow and you will be better (and yes time will heal old wounds if you allow yourself to heal!) Good luck and God bless

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel I have just been through a similar situation, although I still dont know what really happened, we have now split and I have no intention of being with him again as it is doing my head in still, and this happened in may!!!!
my bed is broken and I have to sleep in it every night honestly it will eat you up,you are so much better off without him he will do it to you again and again.now the trust has gone on your part there really is no point in continuing your relationship get rid of him and find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve!
I know this is not what you want to here as Im still coming to terms with my split and its not easy but as you say you feel differently round him this will not get better only worse i tried to get back with him but again all the doubts came back and i felt worse,each time i couldnt get hold of him on the phone my mind kept going into overdrive wondering where he was and even when he did call me and explain i still had doubt that he was actually telling me the truth because of what had happened. its no good when you feel like that all the time believe your better off looking for someone else......still keep your chin up and good luck for the future x

Answer 5

dump him, he has no respect for you or the relationship, he just wanted a break from the relationship so he could feel free enough to pursue someone else and in the process of him coming back to you he gave you an std and is still lieing about his actions, trust and honestly are things that should be in a relationship and he has already prpven that he has neither of those traits which are important things that can keep a relationship going in a good direction...

Answer 6

Had a similar experience about 4 years ago, me and my partner had a break and he met someone else in that time the only difference is it ended up a breakup!!

He fell in love with this girl moved in with her then got her pregnant(she had a termination). He stayed with her for 3 years and when they broke up he and i became friends again, we are now back together.

I did trust issues with him in the beginning and in arguements i did throw it in his face that he loved someone else and how could he move on so quickly after me then her.

I finally realised that for us to move on I had to leave that in the past and move on. It was hard because he broke my heart but if i didnt there was no way that we couldve stayed together.

If you cant forgive him then its going to be a dark cloud over your relationship. How about buying a new bed and explaining to him how that made you feel


good luck xx

Answer 7

OK. You are in severe need of a reality check. Your b/f gave you a STD and he had sex with another woman in your bed. If you think that this guy is ever going to treat you as anything other than garbage you are deceiving yourself. You have been royally screwed by this guy; in more ways than one. It's time that you got a hold of your self-respect and dump this idiot. Immediately. Give yourself some healing time than start again with someone who is not going to treat you like garbage.

Answer 8

It is very simple: he cheated (irrespective of where and when). Kick him out of your life - just remind yourself that it was him that wanted a 'break' from you in the first instance which basically meant that he didn't want to be with you any longer. Get a proper, decent man who will respect and love you instead of wanting a 'break' from you. You don't need a break in a loving relationship. Good luck, you can do better!

Answer 9

u know every thing is possible with girl now aday
if u trust ur boy and u know what he can do and what he can't do fine.as for me i don't know but i think the girl want u to break up with ur man don't give her that chance.u want ur man so give him what he like most and forget about that dirty girl u are better than her put that in mind. if u give a chance she will surely take ur man. be strong .

Answer 10

Do yourself a huge favour and get out of this relationship straight away, it will save you enormous heartache in the future. Your boyfriend has proved to you already that he is not to be trusted. Sorry to be harsh but deep down you already know what you should be doing.

Answer 11

Dont lose sleep over him hun. Move on you deserve so much better. You dont deserve to be treated like a door mat. He's been selfish and uncaring and has shown you major disrespect. STD? Thats nasty stuff and doesnt say much for her. Its hard but move on, and leave him to his sad apthetic ways.