I am in love with a guy who I've been seeing on and off for nearly 3years... We have been through so much together, bad and good... We stopped seeing each other as he had a girlfriend, this time last year we actually stopped seeing each other and then he found out she'd splept with someone else, his best mate... Then they finished in March, but in April she found out she was pregnant, its not the mates baby though... They are not together any more and me and this guy spend most of our time together, he spends more time with me than he does with her... We're not acutally an item, but we may aswel be. She is moving back home with her folks when they baby is due in Dec, which is out of London... I'm just worried it's going to rewin everything between us, I'm so scared of loosing him, I love his so much, I don't expect him not to see the baby, I even told him I will support him all the way... Will the fact that they will have a baby together mean it will make them closer?
2006-11-08 23:54:47 · 17 answers · asked by the_questioner 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Why do people make out that coz he is having a baby with someone else that it is impossible for us to be together? I never grew up with my Mum & Dad together, my Dad was married to my Step Mum when I was a kiddie....
2006-11-09 00:03:29 · update #1
And yes I will support him and his baby, help him out, be a step Mum.... I'll be there for him always and forever.... I love him
2006-11-09 00:07:21 · update #2
Did you not like the answers we gave you already to this question?
I you going to keep re-posting it until someone tells you what you want to hear ?
Ok then Of course it will be ok, the baby will have no effect he will choose you and you will run off into the sunset together and live happily ever after and he won't sleep with anyone else because you are enough for him and he's a one woman man from now on
There now do you feel better about yourself ?
I think you know the answer to that question !
2006-11-09 00:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Yeah yeah yeah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear. It's time you woke up and smelled the coffee young lady!
Do you not think that if you and this man were meant to be together you'd actually be a couple ? You say that you spend all of your time together and 'may as well be' an item, but aren't. It seems to me that he likes the idea of having you around, hanging on a string. If anything serious was going to happen between you, don't you think it would have happened by now ?
And yes....the fact that they have a baby together will make them closer. He will spend more time with her because he will want to see the baby. I'm not saying that they will get back together, but you will become less important to him. He'll be a father.
I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but I really can't see you getting the fairytale ending that you seem to be looking for.
2006-11-09 02:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by Gail H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will always have a connection with this woman. That does not mean it will be romantic. However, that said, you are saying the two of you aren't an "item", why are you concerned about this? You need to find out first where he stands with her. If he isn't 100% sure the romantic relationship with her is over then you need to step back and let him figure out what is going on there. You will only be hurting yourself if you try to get involved, and worse it will add a lot of stress and complicate his relationship with the baby's mother if there is another woman involved in the ending of the relationship. If he tells you it is 100% over with this woman than I suggest you have a frank talk about where the two of you stand. If the two of you decide you do want to date I caution you about becoming too involved in the baby's life until such time as the two of you are making long term plans. It is not in the baby's best interest. Finally, you need to decide if you can deal with this baby. If you date a man with a child they come as a package deal.
2006-11-09 00:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Erin S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That depends. If he still horbours feelings for her, then it might. But if you really love this person, you will except the fact that he will FOREVER be tied to this person. Not in a romantic way, but because they have a child....
If you are scared of losing him, then you've already lost him. You need to sit down and tell him your fears, and open up to him about this. If you guys stay together in the long run (ie marriage..) are you ready to play step mom? Will you help him out with the little one when he stays over? Just think about those things...
Good luck!
2006-11-09 00:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you and this guy are but he sounds like he isn't ready to commit to anyone for a long time. Why are you pinning your hopes on a guy who cheats on his girlfriend anyway?I don't think the new baby is going to make a bit of difference to his relationship with the mother. In fact, after the initial excitement wears off I don't hold out much hope of him being a committed father either. There are a million guys out there who you could love just as much as this loser. Go find them.
2006-11-09 00:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit back and see,not what you want to hear but you dont want to push him away. He will proably try and work it out with this girl when he as seen his baby as he wants to play the devoted dad. Imagine how you would feel if you was the one that was pregnant and this girl was hassling him? Give it time and support what ever the decision he makes. The most important one in all this is the baby as he/she is the innocent one that as not been asked to come into the world...
2006-11-09 00:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by The chandlers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you but I think when the child is born they will pulled closer and have a better connection then ever. If I were you I would let him go so this new baby can have a chance to let his parents be together. His baby is going to be his number one concern and his ex girlfriend will be very important to him because she is the mother of his child. I would move on and let them do what they have to do.
2006-11-09 01:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by atc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you've been off and on. You're wondering if the fact they had a baby together make them closer. Since he's an off and on person I'd say off and on can answer that question too. If off and on pleases you, stay with him and may you have many more happy years. If you don't like off and on, I'd say it's time to meet someone else whose character matches yours more and will allow you a steady relationship.
2006-11-09 00:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No having a baby together will probably make them argue like crazy.
However, I wouldn't be with a guy who slept with someone else or even slept with anyone before they were married. Do yourself a favor and find a good, stable guy who doesn't sleep around.
2006-11-09 02:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by AerynneC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason he's doing this to you because he knows you are going to take him back. When the baby arrives she might be able to convince him to move in with her and the baby as 'his place is with them' but I can't guarantee that whoever he lives with he's going to be happy. Seems like he can't settle with one woman and he needs affairs all the time. If you are prepared to be a second best for him for the rest of your life then by all means, stick with him but you have to be able to forgive and forget. Me personally couldn't accept that from a man but we are all different. And don't think by getting pregnant you are going to win him back.
2006-11-09 00:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by Luvfactory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋