to the house this was happening.. All i want to do is make sure that both my daughters and this sweet childs welfare is safe.. I've tried talking to this woman whose house it is and she is very unsavoury but my daughter is using emotional blackmail against me and said if i contact social services that she will have nothing more to do with me.. the only reason my daughter is at that house is because she gets to do what she wants there come and go as she pleases drink til all hours day and night smoke and quit school..The only reason my daughter ranaway from home is because she is 16 and had a 10-30 curfew and she thought it was pathetic...
2006-11-08 21:37:30 · 20 answers · asked by . 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you all so very much there is nothing that the social services will do for my daughter as she is 16 but I have given all the details to them so hopefully they can save the small child before it's too late..
2006-11-09 02:43:22 · update #1
You have to think of your own daughters safety, and that of the little 2year old. Go to social services, report it, tell them to be discrete! If anything would happen to either of them you would never forgive yourself! Nice to know there are still responsible people around!
Good luck!
2006-11-08 21:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Gary H 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hi, i'm sorry your daughter has run away over such a stupid reason, im having trouble with my 14 year old son at the moment so my heart goes out to you, they can hurt you so much with their actions and words cant they, well you are in a difficult situation i don't know what i would do ...i guess the simplist thing to do here is to ask your self if anything happened to this little girl would you be able to live with your self, if the answer is no then go with your gut feeling if your daughter is too immature and silly to realise children should be loved and cared for that's her problem, and hopefully one day when she has children she will see what a hard job being a mum is and give you a little respect, so the way i see it you can either try and ignore this situation which i don't think you can or ring social services and feel better, even if the social services dont do any thing at least you can sleep better knowing that you tried, sorry i wasn't much more of a help, and i wish you all the best with your daughter, good look, and try not to let it get you down so much.
2006-11-09 05:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get hold of Social Service now, and if you know for sure this woman is letting your underaged daughter drink alcohol, contact the police. It is time you put your foot down hard with your daughter and quit letting her run all over you. You are still responsible for your daughter until she is 18. If they have to, then let her go to juvenile hall for a month or two and she will change her tune. It's called "Tough Love".
Also the 2 year old needs to have someone that will care for her and not neglect her and Social Services will provide that.
2006-11-09 06:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughters miss guided outlook is that she believes that she will have a better life outwith the family environment. Your concerns are mainly the 2year old child. Of course your concerns about your daughter are such that she shows no appreciation towards you yourself, by insinuating a threat. It is hard to choose the correct path inwhich you know you should take for the welfare and safety of both daughter and granddaughter. No matter the right or wrong reason for doing so, it may hurt yet should be carried out. Inform the police and social services, whom would know best how to address this situation.
2006-11-09 05:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel your childs welfare is in danger I doubt there is much you can do except try to reason with her, she is 16 and she can leave home if she wants to. If you really believe that this woman is allowing anything illegal to take place in her home you could inform the police. You daughter may be angry with you but that won't last. This is a terrible problem for you, good luck with it, your daughter needs to respect and value you as her mother. Maybe you could offer her a compromise regarding the 10:30 curfew, let it be a little later perhaps on the weekends.
2006-11-09 05:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by ffiondove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your daughter back. It sounds to me like perhaps you were unable to keep a hold on her because se's going through a wild phase.
You know what? Just compromise with her. Tell her you are NOT going to give up on her- because she is your daughter. Don't contact social services (she's 16, there really is no point) This will take you some time. But it sounds to me like you need to re-build the relationship that you have with her.
Ask her to come round for a meal, so you can discuss this like adults (and remind her that this is how she wants to be treated and therefore there are no hidden ploys). Then calmly begin by asking her why she thinks her 10:30 curfew is ridiculous. Ask her what time she feels she deserves to come in, and then ask her WHY. You can compromise by saying that she should be home by 10:30 on weekdays and perhaps you can extend the curfew for the weekends.
But you need to ask her what else is wrong. Its a turbulent time in a teenagers life- but leaving home because of a curfew is dramatic. There may be other reasons, so prepare yourself.
Don't chastise the house she's in at the moment. But give her an incentive to come back home. Tell her you both need to work on things- and you are prepared to do so if she will meet you half way.
Remember you are the parent. Maintain you cool and keep control of the situation. Don't scream and shout at her- this will only make things worse. Instead speak in a levelled voice that is sure to get through to her!
If you do decide to call social services- remember that you may do some irreperable damage to both of you.
If she wants to smoke and drink- it really is simple- you can let her drunk but make her understand the damage she is doing by getting drunk. You can allow her to drink wine- but nothing else. As she is 16, I would also say that if she wants to smoke make it very clear that she is getting older and you are giving her that choice- but you will not allow her to smoke in your family home. Neither will you be funding any of her habits.
Don't worry. My Mother and I were always at loggerheads when I was that age- but eventually after a little compromising and talking we made it through. Its a difficult time for both of you- you still probably remember her as 'you're little girl'- but she is growing up- and this is one of the ways that she's trying to show you.
Finally, I would also say you should try and go to councelling together. It will help you a lot!
Good Luck
2006-11-09 05:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by sassedangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a duty to contact social services or the police. To begin with your daughter can only stay at this house with your agreement providing you can prove her welfare is not being met. Which by the sounds of things it is not. You must do something about the little girl, she is helpless in this situation call childline or the NSPCC for advice. Your daughter will talk to you again, when she's older and sees what you were doing for her. Good luck
2006-11-09 05:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go and speak to this unsavoury woman and tell her in no uncertain terms that you will report her to social services and the police, if she allows your daughter to stay round there.
I would take my daughter out of school and send her to boarding school.
Chances are they are doing drugs as well.
I think you will find that the longer you leave this the worse it will get. She is more likely to get pregnant at an early age because of the dregs of sociaty she is hanging around with.
She is 16 and still a child.
Have a word face to face with this woman and threaten her if need be. I would stop at nothing to protect my child!!!
tell her that you will make it your mission in life to ruin her unless she stops sheltering your child and tells her to go home.
You can accuse her of all sorts of things and make her life a living hell if need be.
Good luck and get your daughter home and in school where she belongs.
2006-11-09 11:47:33 · answer #8 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok. your an adult, and shouldnt be giving in to emotional blackmail. ring social services and do it yesterday. how would you feel if this little girl or your daughter were harmed and you stood by and did nothing? your daughter is still a child herself and saying she will have nothing more to do with you is proof she is still a child, i was exactly like that myself and ended up in care, i dint want nothing to do with my mother until i grew up and understood why she did what she did. its your job to look out for your daughter and this little girl has no choice, she's gonna think its the normal way to live!!! at least try and stop it, that way you can go to sleep at nite and look at your self in the mirror and know you did everything you could. dont bother talking to the woman anymore. ppl of that mindset who think theres no problem with what they're doing, are ppl you cannot reason with. ring social services, your daughter will come back to you.
2006-11-09 05:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A big problem with the world today is people who "ignore" the evil in this world. If you know that a two year old child is being neglected/abused it is YOUR responsibility to tell social services. You can remain annonymous if you so wish but I wouldn't care who knew it myself. It seems that no matter what you do, your daughter will blame you anyway. This is harsh I know but she is sixteen and it was her choice to "runaway", I hope for your sake she grows up and sees the right from wrong here. That little girl needs to come first ... NO MATTER WHAT!
2006-11-09 06:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would still contact social services for the 2 year old's sake. She can't speak for herself. You haven't lost your daughter as I saw posted as an answer, she's just being rebellious. Heck, at 16 I'd go where I could to do whatever I wanted too! You may want to report your daughter as a runaway to the authorities to cover your own butt. Some agencies could give you a lot of grief over not reporting it. But I would definitely report that woman as negligent regarding her own sweet child...if not I'd be just as bad as her for knowing it and allowing it to continue. Best of luck with your own daughter. I was there when one of my daughters were that age too...and she's turned out just fine. Stick to your guns mom!!
2006-11-09 06:28:33 · answer #11 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋