How can one cope with a suspicious husband?

Question

My husband consistently searches my handbag, phone log and even smelling my hankerchief. This has brought a lot of ugly confrontations as i detest this. How can i cope with this?

Answer 1

Does he have a reason? If not sit him down and talk to him as calmly as possible about it. Find out what he is worrying about. Or you can let him get on with it and let him find out in his own time that there is nothing to hide. Better still, do the same to him.

Answer 2

What has made him suspicious? Have you been unfaithful in the past either with him or someone else that makes him feel like this? Or is it just unfounded?

If you have done nothing to provoke this, I would assume that he is feeling insecure because he has had it happen to him in the past or, alternatively, he feels guilty because he's been playing away and is now paranoid that you will do the same.

He needs to seek some help emotionally from a professional to help him with his jealousy before it spirals out of control and you end up leaving him, having an affair just to serve him right or he does something really silly like become violent with you. I don't think that there is anything that you could ever do or say that will make him get over this feeling. He needs to find a way independently of you to discover why he feels like this and to regain control over that feeling as only in doing this will he ever find the peace of mind that he needs to allow your relationship to flourish.

Answer 3

Why does he do this? Why would he smell your hankerchief? Anyway maybe if you don't carry a hankerchief he won't sniff it, if he is suspicious of you and thats why he looks at your mobile phone then if you are doing nothing wrong let him have full access to your phone so that he trusts you.

Answer 4

The only way of coping with a suspicious husband, is to create a scenerio he expects you to be doing? He need to trust you and the only way he can achieve this is by getting a friend of yours and acting a scene whereby you look suspicious to him. When finally the truth will be out, he will feel so ashamed and stupid, he will finally learn to treat you right

Answer 5

He is obviously insecure and afraid of losing you; yet his behaviour is creating the conditions that will inevitably result in more conflict and mistrust. Which ever path you choose to follow, you have to tackle the situation now before it gets worse. But remember that personal dignity (that includes mutual respect and trust) is the most important thing in a relationship and should not be compromised for the sake of appearance.

Answer 6

He is totally out of order and a control freak, these people are always very insecure, confront him asap and get it out in the open, he will only get worse! and its his problem not yours. One day you will leave as you will become resentful. There is nothing more unattractive than a needy desperate jealous person.Failing that leave some condoms in your bag, or a pair of y fronts, and go out one night stay out late and come home smelling of mens aftershave, that will get him going, then leave.

Answer 7

Get the Tel no for Relate (marraige guidance), Write it on a piece of scrap paper, put it your hand bag, When your husbands phones this number he might just get the hint!

Answer 8

It may be that your husband has cheated on you and therefore believes it possible that you are cheating on him. It is important to speak to somebody together, but the problem clearly lies with your husband. Good luck.

Answer 9

Somehow his trust in you has broken down, if it was ever there. He and you need counseling, together or seperate. You, on how to deal with it and him, on how to overcome his lack of self-esteem. Fighting won't help, it will only make you drift apart. Get help.

Answer 10

The same is the case with my friend, but the only difference is that her husband drinks and then speaks rubbish. u can help her when u find a way. please do write to her on [e-mail]