My husband is Bi-polar... a little help?

Question

Okay, so things are going alright but Id like them to be better... Im making changes in myself...that needed to be changed... there are many things that turn me off about my husband now, and its to blame on his bi=polar! Hes not affectionate with me at all, hes not considerate, he dont think of me or my feelings anymore, we harldy talk , i mean this is like the worst of the realationship. Ive tried talking to him about it, but he says that he doesnt know why hes so selfish! And he is too!!!!! So what I am asking is if any one out there knows how to deal with this illness how can I help him open up to me and be the man I fell in love with years ago.... Hes slowly getting worse, and I dont know how much longer I can keep giving and not getting anything back!

alright, hes NOT taking any medications, he dosnt see a doctor, and he has been diagnosed Bi-Polar II See when he was younger him mother took him to all sorts of doctors and clinics! Had him on all sorts of medications. Hes had a few serious suicide attempts... When I came into his life, Ive been there for him when hes manic also when he gets depressed.... Almost everytime hes pulled a knife on himself, Ive been there to stop him. I dont think that by him getting back on medications will help him... I think it will make him worse. When we started getting serious in the realationship, I saw that he always resorted to liquor when he was having a hard time... When we got our own home, I removed loquor completly from the home, and its helped him deal with his issues so much better, and the suicide thoughts Im sure are there, but he dont act on them half as much as he use to at his mothers....

Answer 1

i really think you should read up on this. it will give you answers.

Answer 2

Hello, im sorry you and your husband are having this problem .
You need to see another doctor. I am bi/polar myself and from what you said of your husbands behavior...he is not bi-polar ..the meds he is taking are meant for bi-polar and since he is not they could do some serious harm. It seems that some diseses become a fad and if a doctor doesent know whats wrong with a patient .he must be bi-polar..{the doc may not know better there is so little ..almost no reserch on this disorder ..there are some disticnt things that most bpolars will do ..but not talking to you rules him out as bi-polar right THERE!!...bi polar people are affectinate ..and they are happy motor mouths {when manic}..if he was depressed he would just stay in bed and ...sleep as much as possible ..and when awake ..just want to die...so please ..find a new doc for your husband ....
oh and the last thing bi-polars are is selfish they give of themselves ..{even when its not wanted}.lol..and very materialy generous also.
I wish you the best of all that life has to offer ..take care...and may the real problem be temporary and not so serious as bi-polar...PEACE
I just read a few other answers ...dont take anyones ..including MY words for facts.....but please get your husband to a diferent doc. I know first hand what being a manic-depressive is....also ...the most incompetent doctor knows there are more than two types of this disorder...some people can be downright dangerous here!!

Answer 3

Yes, and they will inherit his Bi-Polar depression. You will be unhappy and stressed out. I lived with my wife and three children for twenty years before she would go to the doctors and get any medication. My kids had already grown up thinking it was normal to argue constantly about anything. There cute until there about ten and when they are in there teens, forget about it. My son would take all day to come home from school or play outside past darkness and I would have to argue with her about when he should come in. You need to have the support of your spouse when raising your children. I can not have a conversation with them where I use more than a few words, because they never learned how to have a normal conversation. When the vows said... through sickness....Ill bet they didn't have Bi-Polar Depression in mind, because it would be cruel to think that you should stay in a marriage that gives you nothing in return. When you work hard at your marriage you'll stumble and there wont be anyone to pick you up. When you grow older and want to look back at what you've accomplished, there will not be anything and no one in your family will care! Good Luck!

Answer 4

ok sweetheart. I AM bipolar. he needs help now, before he gets worse and worse. i have been to the lowest of lows. but i knew i had a problem and i wanted to fix it to not ruin my love life. it was hard but i am there. i was on sooooo many medications that i was tired of them all. he needs to want to get help. if he cant then there is nothing to do. you need to get out before he hurts you. manic episodes are definitely the worse. i was at the point of pyschosis at times. i thought people were out to get me. bipolar is not curable, but with the right meds he can be stable. remember though, truly and honestly that is not really him. it is like another person and he cant control himself at times. people tell me i can but i cant. if they dont have bipolar they have no idea whats it like. email me if you wanna know more or need more insight. im always here to help those with or dealing with bipolar.


also read up on borderline personality disorder. often confused with bipolar. sounds like some characteristics of it. remember there are like 15 different diagnosis for bipolar. not just bipolar I and bipolar II. they range onto other types. look up the DSMV-IV online. it is the book they actually use to diagnose. other personality disorders are in there as well.

Answer 5

Is he on meds? Does he go to counseling? Do you go to counseling? My husband has been diagnosed with depression and is on Effexor and goes to counseling. Sometimes his shrink wants to see us as a couple. If he is not on meds or going to counseling, he won't get better. The counseling for him, is mostly behavior remodification. For you it is about learning to deal with the bi-polar and your own emotions. My husband has other factors going against him. He has an addictive personality. Because of specific circumstances, he is the opposite of your husband. Mine tries to be OVERLY affectionate, and I am still at a point where I just don't want to be touched. And little things tend to grate my nerves. But we are slowly working to make things right. If nothing else, look at local churches for a support group for people with depression. They really are everywhere. If he doesn't go, then YOU go. Go for no other reason than to better yourself, and to educate yourself on depression and his mood swings. You especially need to do this if y'all have kids.

Answer 6

My wife is bi polar rapid cycling. Selfishness is not a symptom of bi polar. He needs an ultimatum either you leave him or he seeks professional help. There are several different meds on the market that treat this illness. Usually a bi polar will be hyper for a period of time and then depressed for a period. I find it usefull to make arrangements while my wife is in the hyped mode.

Answer 7

fear is his problem, in life he fears the finality of both complete fulfillment and complete emptiness, and so he becomes obsessed and afraid that his choices matter. tell him that right and wrong are always at hand, but time will take him there and that's where you want to be. tell him you feel alone on the journey without him. then get him to a doctor for some treatment.

Answer 8

Take him to the doctor. There is no magical cure for this. He needs to be on medication.

Answer 9

It sounds like he may need to start taking medication . Good luck.