I have a son that is 13 years old. I divorced my husband 13 years ago for beating the s*** out of me when I was 2 months pregnant with our son. However, the divorce papers say that we divorced due to irreconsilible differences. The papers also say that I have custody of our son. 2 years ago my son was having some problems in school. His dad and I decided to let him move to his house to see if it would help him. At the time I thought it was in my sons best interest, because he loves his dad so much. Now 2 years later I am seeing my ex's temper through my son. Just a few short weeks ago he got in trouble at school for threatining to beat up 2 girls. My son has also asked me about his fathers temper. Not to mention he is not doing any better in school, his grades are about the same if not worse than what they were. The papers say that I have custody of my son do you think I will have any problems getting him back away from his dad, since he has been living there for 2 years?
2006-11-08 19:10:58 · 7 answers · asked by sambluebaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh boy do I know what your going through and I know it isn't pleasant. In my case I allowed my son to go bc he wanted to go and I didn't want to hurt him or cause him any negativity.
I see the same thing. He has inherited alot of his ways.
Now my son is constantly with me bc his father lives w/ a gf and they have a very small place and so no room for my son. (That hurts my son alot)
Anyways, back to you and your son.
I will share with you what helped me and I found hope.
I found a Christian church and asked for prayer and still continue to do so...I have peace about the whole situation. Praise the Lord. Before I worried myself sick over my son watching his grades drop. He had & still has a selfish attitude. Very rebellious & disrespectful. Everything opposite of what I had taught him and instilled in him. My heart was in agony but not anymore.
You see worrying, anxiety, stress etc...is not from God. satan wants to destroy us and our children. Pray! Prayer is very powerful.
You need to be in a group of believers (the church). Find a church for starters. Talk to the pastor. They usually can give you Godly counselling and it is free.The prayers of believers avail much. Being w/ believers, they will encourage you, show support wherever they can, uplift you when you're down etc....
If you can read "Power of a praying woman/parent" by Stormie Omarian. Very good. Your life will never be the same once you put your Faith and Trust in Jesus. My life (attitude)changed all for the better. I have joy even through the trials. I'm living testimony.
If it wasn't for the Lord, I believe I would of been a basket case by now and on every anti-depressant pill. Thank God I'm not. I pray the best for you.
Show love and support to your son and advise him as best you can. That is all you can do and then PRAY!
Here is a verse of hope for you.
Jer 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
His Word never returns void. Here's another verse for you.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
God Bless you and your son!
2006-11-09 04:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got caught up in that kind of situation too. I made the mistake of thinking my son would do better with his father. Fortunately I am the custodial parent and had no problem getting my son back. You need to file a custody enforcement form with your local courts and get your baby back. My circumstance is different than yours in that I was not abused by this man however, I was abused by another and there is no way that I would have sent any of my children to live with an abusive person no matter how bad their behavior is. How could you have jeopardized your sons safety that way? I don't understand that at all. And now you're regretting your decision? What do you expect from your son after you sent him into that kind of environment?
2006-11-08 21:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, sound like my family. I'm getting married the same time, and my mother and stepmother have a problem with each other too. I think it's mainly just because my stepmother feels like she did a lot of the "raising" and my mom has no rights... basically. And unless your son is in his latel 30's to 40's, that is most likely what she is feeling. You have two options in a situation like this. 1. You confront her before the wedding. Which mean like NOW, or 2. You let it go. If you let it go, then that means you have to pull yourself away from certain situations. I.E. He may want a picture with just her and his family... be understanding. either way... be understanding. I know that my biggest fear on my wedding day is that something will happen between my mom and stepmother. So maybe you should just talk to her. It's not like it can hurt, and all you have to tell her, is that your not going to get in the way of anything as long as she shows you the same respect. Oh, and let your son know, either way Good luck
2016-05-21 23:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you will have problems because for 2 years you husband has had custody and your child is 13 old enough to live with who he chooses...... I know how bad this must be for you but think of other options for yourself like seeing the school about your concerns maybe they can put him on an anger management plan and educate him against violence and healthy ways to control your anger....good luck hugz
2006-11-08 19:54:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your son and find out if he wants to come back and stay with you. Tell him the truth and if he comes back stop playing with fire by letting his dad back in your life! At his age he will probably have to want to come back to live with you. You made a bad decision now all you can do is try to find a way to make every thing work out.
2006-11-08 19:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have documents that say you are to have custody then you have custody. If you go to him and he doesn't give him up then you call the cops and show them the document. If he can't prove otherwise then the cops must give your son back to you.
2006-11-08 19:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Aaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok....your first mistake was to let him go live with his father without going through the court first......bad deal there....the court will simply ask....why did you do this?????? what are you going to say? knowing that your ex has a violent temper you are basically allowing it.....hmmm....you should have never let him go
2006-11-08 19:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋