when I tell him I dont want to be with him he tells me he'll take the kids away.....I feel stuck....any suggestions??
2006-11-08 18:30:47 · 10 answers · asked by sweetie p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He won't just be able to "take the kids away".
If it is that bad and you really want out of your marriage, go to an attorney, file the papers, get a pre-trial, "status quo" order that says you get the kids and the house and any money that he already pays for bills. Then the lawyers and the courts will have to sort it out.
If you think he would just drop his life, take the kids and run, then maybe, that's what you need to do.
We always have choices, even if we don't like them, they are still choices.
Peace be with you while you are making yours.
2006-11-08 18:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your pain. Don't cry> Really take a look at the situation here and the relationship he has with the children. Do you BELIEVE that he really wants the children without you?
If no? Call is bluff and say OK ? He wins.
Honey, either way you still have rights and would never not see your children. Why is it' that in this world' women always get the children and men are free, except for every other weekend.
But really the real question is .. Who is best for the children. Its not about you or him. We should all remember that our children come before us. ALWAYS! You can start the legal paper work before either one of you leave. I suggest that if you want the children and they are better off with you, then begin the paper work and have him served. Once that is in place, then he has to prove to the courts that he should be the one with the children. You are not happy or in love with him, so why teach your children that, you are less value then he. So no more sadness or tears. Get strong and do what you need to do for yourself and your children. You deserve to be happy.
2006-11-09 02:53:34 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a plan. Check some legal advise. Most of the time they do not take kids away from there mother. You have more power than you know you do. If you are in a bad marriage you need to get out and fast. Don't waste you life like that. I don't know if you work or not but if you are used to living a certain way he might even have to pay you child support and spousal support. Good luck. Don't let him threaten you. Don't be sad, get mad!
2006-11-09 02:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by girlio33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're certainly not stuck. Contact an attorney and find out your options. Many have free consultations, and in some areas you can find may qualify for low/no cost.
He makes the threats because he knows they work. You have options, and if reconciliation is out of the question, you should explore those options.
An attorney will be able to tell you what type of custody you can expect, alimony (if it's likely and approximately how much) and many other things you'd never think of.
You're certainly not alone in something like this. There are many women in the same situation and you may be able to find support groups to participate in, and network through should you need to find employment, childcare, etc.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-09 02:38:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this can't be easy on you, but if you're going to get through this, you're going to try to stay productive. The reason your husband tells you those things is that he knows that he can manipulate and control you with just the though of loosing your kids. Don't let him intimidate you, seek legal advise. Also look for a good counselor to help you get your self esteem back. If you have family or friends nearby, also reach out to them. You need all the support you can get. Hang in there, this too shall pass. Good Luck!
2006-11-09 07:38:57 · answer #5 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go seek legal advice no parent can just steal the kids...doesn't work that way it's a threat to control you and it's working. What you need to do is seek counselling sort out your feelings are you depressed or is something up in your relationship. Family counselling or marriage counselling might help.
2006-11-09 02:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by lol_des 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. See what they say. You will most likely get full custody. He will get visitation. Unless you have a drug or drinking problem, or beat your kids, or are a hooker. A judge usually awards full custody to the mother. Go see a lawyer that offers a free consultation. Its worth it, get a couple different opinions. Good Luck honey!
2006-11-09 02:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by Hydimyangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave before He gets Home with the kids and go see a law-er as soon as possible...When you draw up papers it stops Him from taking the kids from you until a hearing and if you have been a good mom then you will be alright....Don't fear Him....
2006-11-09 02:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by patricia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's emotional blackmail and a sign of cowardice. He's scared, and honestly it's not up to him who gets the kids. Settle it in court. Get a lawyer and go for it. Good luck.
2006-11-09 02:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by DepthsOfMyEyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tease him, he will say anything to hurt you, better less said is better, he will keep the law
2006-11-09 03:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋