Marriage without sex?

Question

I have been married over ten years sex is only once a month or every two months, my husband is a good guy just not a sexual person like i am. I dont want to walk out on the marriage have tried talking to him about it. His words sex isnt that important to him, was when we first met. Hes home every nite so i know theres no one else , one of the side effects of his meds is low sex drive. I dont know what to do im going crazy here. Help plz

Answer 1

I've been having the same problem since the beginning of my marriage. It's not lack of sex. it's bad sex that makes me feel alone and empty. I've kept quiet until now and I haven't been seeing other men. But yesterday i let it out. We talked about it and now things are frozen between us.
I know I did the right thing. In the long run I am still very young and i need to know what my life will be because marriage is forever.
I think seeing another man is the last thing you can do. Talk to him first and see what you both can do about it.
The question is: Do you divorce someone because of that? Do you compromise? Do you find another to cover you there? I really don't know right now.

Answer 2

Sex is a huge part of a romantic relationship. If you are not having sex, what separates you from being close friends? I think you should tell him how serious this is and let him know you want to walk out cause he isn't full filling a very important duty! Find out if there is another medication he can take that doesn't effect his sex drive! I don't know what kind of relationship you have, but if sex is so unimportant to him see if he will be willing to have an open marriage with you and let you have him as a husband and sleep with other men purely for sex. I don't know but you need to figure something out or things will just get worse you will start resenting him for being so dissatisfying and things will just go downhill if you guys don't find out some sort of compromise!

Answer 3

I know I have a problem pretty similar to yours except Im not married. My partner and I have sex usually once or twice a week and Im the more sexual one and I know my partner isnt having an affair.

Theres not much you can really do - u cant force him into having sex more often. What helped my Fiance and I was Testosterone Enhancers which are found in some Herbal Supplements and that helped increase his sex drive a little. Also communicate to each other about what you both want in the relationship.

oh and sex is very important in intimate relationships:)

Answer 4

Hi Not, It sounds like it's time for your husband to see a doctor. They probably have some kind of medicine they can give him to speed up his sex drive.I don't want to be rude,but i bet you get on top of your husband and do all the work while having sex.I do it's not his fault,but sex once a month and two months is not health. We need that closest and time with each other.I sure hope you make him see a doctor about this A.S.A.P. I know how you feel and it's terrible walking around horny all the time. Lets hope you get satisfaction soon. A Friend

Answer 5

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt! LOL! I was diagnosed with clinical depression 1.5 years ago. The medications I was taking made my sex life almost non-existent. Causing more problems in my marriage, as my husband thought there was someone else which only furthered my depressed state. It went on for about 4 months when I finally sought professional help. I talked to my doctor. He changed my meds, and we went to see a marriage counselor. It took time for me to realize that my spouse needed more physical attention than he was getting, and that a lack of intimacy in our relationship was causing him to have feelings of inadequacy. It took a while for my current meds to wear off, but during the transition time, my hubby was very innovative. Every time was something new, and before I knew it, I was eager to see his latest performance. If your husband is not interested in seeking medical advice, try to spark his interest by doing something totally unexpected!

Answer 6

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Answer 7

First of all, sexless marriage really sucks. As some people above already said, you gotta cut him some slack due to the meds. I also liked the answer David gave... it reminded me of that Pavlov experiment... maybe you could try bringing him beer after every time you guys have sex. That way he'll know that if he turns the trick he'll be awarded. lol

Answer 8

Dont cheat. For mens sake. For womens dwindling reputations... please.

Now...Talk about why. Start to exercise. Physical activity promotes sex. DONT sit in front of the TV. Go out. Try oral for a while to start, get yourself going if needed and move in for the ride.

He just needs a kick start.

It could also be about physical appearance-his or yours.
He may not like his body anymore,or yours(being realistic).


Peace

Answer 9

Well you did say one of the side effects of his meds is low sex drive. Maybe he can speak to his doctor about changing either the dosage or changing meds completely.

Answer 10

I have low sex drive myself... but hubby has other.. his meds are slowing him down now tho... if your hubby has this same prob. I am guessing he is on high blood pres. or cholesterol meds., and that low drive is not his fault.. look into the meds he is on and see if there is a counteractive measure he can take.. there are natural enhancement meds on the market now and no prescription is needed.... God bless