forgiveness........?

Question

my firts boyfriend (of 2 years) brke up with me yesterday. he told me he doesnt love m anymore. i did anythign and everythign for him and he did the ssame for me. he told me hed always bee here and support me and id do the same for himn

i think the real reason why he broke up with me is that he cannot trust me cause i accidentally told 3 white lies that i really didnt intend to doing. this happened about 6 months ago. and he said he cant get over that i lied to him and he has tried to forgive me but it came back to him so he broke up with me.

i want his forgiveness i promised him iw ould never tell any kind of lies again and i havent but he said he doesnt believe me when i said that. i love him with all my heart and its so hard to hear him say he doesnt love or believe me. hes busy with work and school though. he says he doesnt know if he ever wants tog et back together with me but still wants to be friends.

when you you think he will forgive me? im only human we all make mistakes

imnot perfect and he always brought it up in fights and thingking about lying to him has lways made me cry.... ='( i tried my best for him to trust me it old him EVERYTHING but he quit on me.... i love him so much. i told him forgive and forget its what he used to tell me and all i said was :ill forgive but i wont forget" i dont see why this is so hard for him. its not like i cheated on him or anything.

i dont know what to do anymore....i feel so alone and lost

i have told him i loved him i still ove him alot, what we had was very special and he will be ther for me. he has been answering the phone already when im crying liek a baby to him. and he tlks to me nicely and said he would liek to work things out sometime (and no he didnt leave me for anothe woman) im going to tell him i meade a mistake i just need to try and not to cry so he can understand me. i locve him so much and dont want to loose him cause of some whit elies. i told him out much it hurts me that i lied to him in the first place and how he'll never know how sorry i am.

the point is i accidentallly told a white lie and he had a good point. :if you lied to me abotut his then what else can you be keeping from me?" he had a point nd hav asked him for forgiveness for too long. i know i cannot force him to forgive me and that he will need time but im afraid how long it will take. i want things to go back thet way they were ans he said he wanted the same thing too yet he says he doesnt love me even the slightest bit anymore, but loves me as a friend...

all of this happened over 6 months ago. ive apologized tot many times to count. he threatened that if i ever lied again then he would leave me. i havent lied to him and he still left. i told him i was going to do my best to earn is trust back and literally tell him everything. and i have been yet he's still givingin up on me....

what we had was special. he said he would like to work on the relationship again but just doesnt hve the time right now sincee he works almost 40 hours a week and goes to school full time. i know he is overwhelmed right now and is under alot of stress.

he trid breaking up with me to focus more on school a few months ago.. he isnt doign to weel and NEEDS to raise his GPA. to get into a good 4 year school...

Answer 1

Give him time to heal. It may take hours, days or months but thats one of the consequences of your action.

It's obvious that one of the values that your BF is holding is to be honest. Thats where he based the love he gave you, It start for being honest then the trust and love will come in. It broke his heart when he discovered that you lied. The feeling of your BF now is that he has always doubts when you are speaking or talking. If he has this doubts always on you, its better to split up because it will be unfair for you also in the long run. (having doubts always on you)

I am sure that your BF has accepted your apology already but not the trust that he usually gives you. If you really still loves him, assured him that you will not do it again. You have to start all over again in regaining his trust. It would not be easy. It will take a lot of time. I ma telling this because that is only one of the mistake or offense I hated most. It will take time in regaining the foundation you laid with lots of time, sacrifices and energy also.

Again, give him time and make all the SINCERE talk and actions. I strongly believe that he loves you still.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

It really depends on what the lies were about and why you lied to begin with. It really could be that he was just looking for a good excuse to bail and that was what he came up with. You can leave him alone and think about the lessons you've learned and better yourself as a result, whether or not he comes back, do it for yourself. It's part of the process in finding out what is right for ourselves. Losing at love is also part of the process. Focus on you. Leave him alone. When he calls, if he calls, don't bring up the lies-- you've already apologized and hopefully learned your lessons. Keep your conversations brief, no matter how hard it is, and don't make yourself too available for him. You be the one to hang up sometimes or decline plans sometimes. You don't have to act totally uninterested. Remember he broke your trust too. In time, you will both figure out if things were meant to be between you. In the meantime, try to move on with your life and don't get your hopes up. Figure out instead what you want in your life and what you don't want in your life, especially when it comes to relationsips. Don't settle for less, even if it means you telling him goodbye. You probably can't be just friends, at least not for a while. Too many raw feelings right now.

Answer 3

I really feel for you ,but I think this is a guilt trip he just wants out and is too chicken to say it so he is blaming you .grieve for a while and then start again ,he did not really love you or he would have forgiven ,unless the lies were something huge ,like a child not being his or something big like that.you will find a better love if you learn from your miss takes this time ,and if you look at it realistically you may find the mistake was not the lie .it was maybe being too wrapped up in him ,you need a healthy relationship not a smothering one.

Answer 4

it isn't about u, he is placing blame on u, making u feel as if it was caused by the little white lies, but in reality he is the one guilty and wants to lay it all on u, he is mostlikely seeing someone new, so ofcourse he has to make up something to feel justified in what he is doing. its not about any mistakes u made, he tells u he doesn't know if he ever wants to get back together with u, he is telling u this to keep your hopes up, incase it don't work out with him and the other girl. begging him won't change a thing, just have to take it the way it is, and know we don't have control over anyone but ourselves. it is not about him believing u, it has to do with that he has found someone else. and as much as it hurts we can't stop it, just has to play out. we don't always understand why things happen and we often times blame ourselves for immaginary things they make up on us, so they can justify what they are doing.

Answer 5

that is not the reason why he broke up with you, thats just an easy way out for him....face it he doesnt want to be with you anymore and it doesnt have anything to do with lies...cause i'm pretty sure he's lied to you too, like you said your only human we all make mistakes... and i bet he is busy with work and school and no telling whatever else...why torcher yourself like this? let him go it may be hard for you but if you don't act on it now you'll be sorry....honey his mind is other things sorry to say but you must let go of someone who doesnt want you anymore b/c all your doing is hurting yourself....get out and enjoy life dont let him stop you from living...good luck!

Answer 6

Contact him to talk to him again and explain that you did not mean what you said and you lied, and promise him you will never say the first thing that comes out of your mouth again.

Answer 7

Sorry you feel bad,but understanding his side I'll tell ya.I'm very open and do not judge except for lieing.You see if the problem is you've been lieing how does he know you're not lieing when you say you won't do it again.That's the problem when you lose trust.

Answer 8

dishonesty can bring down foundations of love. you "little" white lies turned out to be big, whatever they were deal with them and don't let it come into an honest relationship. he will need time, and in that time you need to mature.

Answer 9

he might if u make a good arguement, just say u love him and that everyone makes mistakes, that was my mistake, plz i love u

Answer 10

Yeah well he told a lie too...I'll always be there for you and support you, blah blah blah. Ask him how does he want his crow...fried or BBQ'd?