I feel like My marrige is falling apart. Befor my husband and I got married I told him no porn or it will hurt me to much and it will end the marrige. He promised not to do that. A month ago I found out that he had been doing it up untill six months ago and had been doing it the whole time we were dating and after we got married. We purchased a book about how to survive an affair sice that is the way I feel about it. I have been using it and it has been helping. I have noticed though that sometimes after working on it i feel upset and it takes sometime for me to feel better, but once I start to feel better I feel better than I did about things. It is just that start of working through it. Is that normal? I did my first work yesterday and I found myself sleeping through the whole day. Is that normal when someone is so upset? It is alos very hard to work through all these probles since we have 5 kids two that are still babies. Will our marrige ever be the same and if how long?
2006-11-08 17:29:31 · 7 answers · asked by desiree d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband told me on his own and truly feels guilty about what he did and the pain he caused. He takes full responsiblity even though it is hard for me to not think it was my fault in some way. He has truely apologized for what he did in a pool of tears on my lap knowing that he crushed my world around me. He is also working through his part of the book and is better able to understand how I feel and how to get me to trust him again. This is the first long relationship he has been in and is still learning how to make it work. has porn hurt anyone elses relationship as much as it has hurt mine. Even my husband ageed that since he stoped our love life became better and that the coming clean to me let a big load off. Has anyone else noticed this in their marrige? help me and my husband out. Give him some advice and me some too.
2006-11-08 17:37:52 · update #1
This is a classic example of what porn can do to a marriage and people. Everyone thinks it is so harmless and even suggests that they see nothing wrong with sharing it with their mate as it is not really cheating. I think they are wrong because people do get addicted to it, and marriages have been ruined because of it. If you and your husband are not religious, this may be a time to find a church to go to. I know I will get thumbs down suggesting it, but you both must have morals or you wouldn`t be caring about what this has done to your marriage and would go and file for divorce. If you do not want to go to church, as least pray together so that you can heal and find forgiveness. Do you workbooks, and do not give up on one another. If he has cried and admitted to you he did something wrong, I honestly think he is sorry to have hurt you so deeply. Please forgive him, as this will set you free of the pain that it is causing you, and it will encourge him to be a better husband to you. Good luck, and God bless you both.
2006-11-08 17:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Porn doesn't have to be a bad thing, if you're watching it together and learning from it. But since it is causing problems, you probably should go to a couples counselor (not particularly the first one you meet with-- it sometimes takes trial and error to find the counselor who works best with you both). This is an issue that is probably best worked out with some help from a pro. It can get better if you're both willing to put in the effort. That is how the trust can be rebuilt. Mutual effort, honesty, trust, communication, respect, etc.
2006-11-08 17:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is normal to be more upset as you work tho things but you should not be sleeping all day ,who is taking care of the baby's?You can do this and you should but you need to stay with your kids too ,I do know how you feel ,I also have 5 kids and I'm working tho childhood sexual abuse ,it is very hard ,but I don't sleep all day ,you may need some medication to help ,talk to your doctor about that .Keep trying it will get easier .as for saving the marriage well that will depend on what else is going on and if he is willing to stop his bad behaviour.
2006-11-08 17:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I for my part obvious each types paintings and fail. So it will depend on the contributors. Some organized marriages are organized by way of the 2 events themselves, like my father and mother. So if you happen to map it out accurately you'll agreement a wedding and feature a loved ones. The great recommendation I can supply is if you happen to do opt for a agreement marriage simply are not making it visible and discover strategy to coach your youngsters approximately love.
2016-09-01 09:39:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like that your husband may be bored with you or how you make love when you do. He may be telling you that he wants a little more spice in his life, you are lacking something because the porn is winning so find out what it is and do it as long as he
isn't some pervert watching children then you should turn him in to the police.
2006-11-08 17:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Goldnstar 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its just porn... Have you tried watching it with your husband? Wait this may not be a good idea since ya'll already have 5 children. You know your horrible situation could be alot worse, he could've had an actual affair. Get over it and quit being so uptight before your husband does cheat on you.
2006-11-08 18:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK maybe you should tell your husband that is hurts you one more time. And do more research to see if he loves you. OK well you can also talk to him and tell him how it will effect your relationship and tell him the concentuinces and tell him that you love him and that he needs to stop
2006-11-08 17:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋