How can you get someone you love to trust you because they think . . .?

Question

A couple: She loves him with all her heart & soul and would never think about breaking his heart. They have a baby but aren't married. He has never found a girl that would be faithful like her. He used to be a player and got his heart broken in a very sad way. He thinks of this girlfriend as the love of his life, his soulmate. They are so in love. But, he constantly accuses her of cheating on him and thinks bad about her and gets all mad. Then, he goes back because he realized he is trippin' and he apologizes. She is so in love and forgives him. How can she make him trust her and believe that she would never break his heart? What does she do?

Answer 1

Well, common idealogy : you tend to treat others, and see others behaviour and compare it with what you have done in past.

If you have cheated someone, you think other would cheat too. The problem with the guy is either he or someone closer to him had done some cheating in the past. So he tends to imagine situations in his mind about his gf and accuses her of cheating. But as he loves her, and doesnt want to lose her, he comes back to her.
The smartest thing for the girl to do now would be :

-make him feel better, make him feel that he is a good man.
-share, and talk about some real life true love situations, give him the feel about the good people around.
- this should happen quite often, and this should get his complex out, and he should gradually grow the trust on her.

Sometimes you may keep on sayin, giving assurances, but you got to realize that the opposite person has to sense what you are saying and NOT hear what you are saying !

good luck !!

Answer 2

Ahe needs to acknowledge that it is not her responsibility to play into his insecurities. He is obviously not ready for a mature relationship or he would give her a clean slate and put the past in the past, so long as she never did anything to earn his distrust. If she continues to try to prove to him that she is trustworthy, she is forgetting about what is necessary in the first place in a decent relationship. One should never go into a relationship having to pay for someone else's mistakes. Besides, perhaps it isn't so much the past relationships that he is concerned with so much as the possibility that he is being untrustworthy and trying to cast the blame away from himself. She should ask herself, rahter than, what can she do to win his love, does she really need this drama in her life?? If she has never done anything to lose the trust, she probably wont be ablt to gain it in any way, no matter what she does. I know this from my own experience. She should not lose herslef in his identity but should rather decide what she wants and will not have in her life, even if it means losing him, at least for a while until he figures out it's not her baggage to carry.

Answer 3

The truth is you didn't do things right in the first place, I hope I don't sound rude cause I don't mean to but you get married before you go to bed with anyone because if you don't your going to pay the consequences thats what happens when you go to bed with people before you get married they don't trust you ever. A lot of times relationships end up in breakups or divorce because of this. Let me know what you think [e-mail]

Answer 4

If after 9 months he doesn't trust her, then there are more issues here then one broken heart. They need therapy.

Answer 5

There's not much she could do if she's telling the truth and that she's faithful. He's obviously the one with a problem. He needs to snap out of it!

Answer 6

just keep on tring and advice from experienced dont even appear slightly sneaky be open about everything so he knows thier is nothing to hide