My friend and her boyfriend are having problems with his ex-wife and his children?

Question

My friend told me her boyfriend's ex is crazy. She said the ex wife is calling all the time causing problems. Threatening to call CPS on them because one of the kids diapers was wet after visitation. Makes them meet at the police station to exchange the kids. The cops even say she is crazy. My friend is nervous that she might lie to CPS and cause a bunch of legal issues/costs that shouldn't happen. Since the ex calls all the time, I told her she needs to record conversations. Is there anything else she should do to protect herself and her boyfriend? The ex to me sounds like a crazy jealous ex-wife.

I agree the boyfriend should hire an attorney to help with this matter, but they don't have money for that. I mainly don't want the ex to falsly accuse them of something bad with the kids. My son's friend was falsly accused of something, which the truth came out in court, but it cost his mom $10,000 in attorney fees!!

I am having a hard time I guess with expressing myself on this question. My friend and her boyfriend are great, law abiding people, and yes, this is just my side of the story. Her boyfriend LOVES his kids and wants visitation and pays child support faithfully. Ex wife tries to keep kids away from him and always tells him what a loser he is in front of their children. He cries because the kids hear her say these lies. Please ya'll...have some compassion!!

Answer 1

You gave her the right advice by telling her to record her calls. Make sure you also tell her to write down the dates and times when these harassments occur. That's about all she can do right now until they can prove that they're being harassed.

Answer 2

Well she can record her convos but that is illegal in court and cant be used so unless she is going to be doing this for proof to a cps worker the woman's nuts then it wont do her much good! If she is in fact crazy then IF a call is made then nothing will come of it I mean cps is trained to know when it is something like that if the woman is obviously crazy then it will be obvious to them as well!However do you know that the fact is the woman is crazy I mean she feels some reason to have to do these things yeah there are woman out there that are over the top about things I'm not saying this woman is not in fact a loon !I'm saying 80% of the cases the ex gf is always the crazy ***** of an ex why is this??Because the new gf don't like to think he could have had a good person b4 her of course none of us wants to think that there life did not even begin until they met us! And the man is always gonna say she was this she was that and she very well may have been some of the things he says and did some of the things hes telling but what caused these things and is he telling the whole story at all or just what he needs to tell to make himself out to be the wonderful guy that we are sure he is!! I'm not in no way taking up for this woman I'm simply saying there are three sides to ever story his version her version and the truth!!! Your Friend might do herself some good in listening to the crazy loon cause she knows him better than anyone it may very well save her some heartache in the end!!

Answer 3

My husband and I have been going through this for 8 years. My husband was granted custody of his three children 4 years ago so of course things got much worse. She has called CPS so many times that I lost count. And, by law, they have to come check things out. They have never found any of her accuations to be anywhere even close to being true. And everytime they have been here they tell us that there won't even be a record of them being here. She also calls the police all the time. She is always late of just doesn't bother to show up or call if she's not going to pick up the kids. She is a very selfish person and is filled with hate. I could go on for hours about all the things she has done.
She has at times made me want to run away from this house and never look back. I get so angry at her. I don't like the kind of person she is or the things she does but I find myself being hateful right back to her. It just makes things worse!
Anyway, i said all that to say if your friend knows that they are not doing anything wrong then tell her not to worry aobut it. If the ex does call CPS and they aren't doing the things that she accuses them of then she has just brought out a non partial wittness to see that everything is fine in their home. It's a hard situation to be in but for the sake of those children and for their own sanity, they cannot let themselves be caught up in all of her hatred and jealousy.
Tell them that if they have any questions or if your friend just wants to talk with someone who has been there and is still going through it then to e-mail me and I will try to help as well as I can. Good luck and have a blessed evening.

Answer 4

Your friend must not interfer in the relationship between her boyfriend and his ex. It will be much less stressful for her. She is not the cause of the divorce between the two. If her boyfriend is giving her sufficient attention then there is absolutely no need for her to get involved. I am sure she went into the relationship aware of his past. So it is not a new discovery. Of cause if she is uncomfortable with the goings on between her boyfriend and his ex, she can make a choice to look elsewhere!

Answer 5

Recording the calls is one of the best way to prove to a court (or PD) solid evidence of what the ex is saying or making threats.

As for CPS, they will need to determine if the child(ren) are in immediate DANGER or being NEGLECTED. A wet diaper is no immediate threat to the child(ren).

Next, you might want to get a restraining order filed ASAP, claiming that the defendant is harrassing and making constant threats, which is causing you stress and fear. *OR report the ex's behavior and threats to your local PD.

*******A report of some kind must be made ASAP, so that your friend has a leg to stand on, just in case...******

Tell your friend - "Good Luck :)"

Answer 6

I know 2 people in this same situation, I would advise that the children are exchanged at a public place and for her boyfriend to hire a lawyer to explore his rights, the only other thing she can do is find a new boyfriend.

Answer 7

If you are so insecure, you shouldn't be dating until you become secure. If you don't like the fact that he has a child with another woman, you find a man who doesn't have a child. "Plus part of his family has already said they wouldn't love our children we have together as much as they love his daughter." The fact that he allows his family to say such crap says he's minus two testicles. I would dump his butt. A real man wouldn't allow for his family to say that. Jealousy is NOT normal. My husband has a son with his ex, and in no way was I every jealous or insecure about it.

Answer 8

Remember all stories have two sides...everyone who every has an ex- refers to them as crazy or Satan himself. Did you actually hear the police say she was crazy - if not then you should not gossip and repeat that - unless and until you witness it yourself.

Your friend needs to stay out of it and let her bf deal with the ex and the children issues. CPS will closely investigate any accusations - he won't get railroaded.

Tell your friend to relax and let the bf deal.

Answer 9

I don't believe this is your problem. I realize you want to help your friend but this situation is way over your head. The ex may have a good reason for being so angry. As someone else said...there are two sides.

Answer 10

Tell your friend to quickly get away from him!!!
The bf's ex is always crazy, the bf never is the one causing situations, the ex will ALWAYS be around since there are kids involved!
Sounds like bf and ex enjoy the drama, and who knows what else!