I am married and i think i have more problems than the average jane. I can start with the fact that my husband's mother is far more concerned w/ him than the children or me. I can count on 1 hand how often she has phoned this house in 8 yrs. Yet, she speaks w/ her son daily thru his work (im) They visit a lot whenever she breezes into town fr. N.C. She has implied the kids are not her baby boy's b/c they look like me. I try to talk to him about things and he acts like he is asleep, but the minute I go upstairs, he is up w/ the t.v. or computer or cards and eating & having a grand time. We have not slept in the same room, let alone bed in 4 years He more or less does his thing and i take care of the kids and work and do everything else, to include writng bills, etc. to run a house. I feel like I am the only adult in the house. He doesn't do much but eat, sleep and play w/ the kids when he has time. There's more but I have run out of words to use- to explain the misuse of $ etc.
2006-11-08 16:50:17 · 11 answers · asked by mina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest You PRAY. Prayer is VERY Powerful!
Find a Christian church close to you and go and ask for prayer. It will help you tremendously and your children & marriage. The Lord restored my marriage. You can also get free Godly counselling from the Pastor.
You see satan wants to destroy our marriage, children & you. DON"T let him.
The Bible says:
10 The thief’s(satan) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (The Lord)purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
You need to be in a group of believers. The prayers of believers avail much.
If you can, read "Power of a praying woman" by Stormie Omarian. Very good. Your life will never be the same once you accept Jesus in your heart. My life changed all for the better. I'm living testimony.
Here is a verse for you.
Jer 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
His Word never returns void. Here's another verse for you.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
Christ's Blessings to you and your family!
2006-11-08 17:33:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i first of all sympathise with you.however i personally believe that even though your husband's mother is coming between both of you,you have a greater influence on your husband's behavior.what i mean is that your husband made a choice to marry you and stay with you despite the absence of intimacy and communication for the last few years,so i think that you should stop blaming his mother and start working towards reconnecting with someone who once made you smile and feel like you are the most fortunate girl in the world.it has taken a long time for both of you to be in this mess so there will not be quick solutions.You might want to start in small but very significant ways such as little touching and talking everyday.Just find something to compliment the father of your kids about on a daily basis even if he doesn't reciprocate your actions.you have nothing to lose but pride which is the culprit in many marriage breakdowns.Do not give up yet.
2006-11-08 17:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by sherie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-03 10:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. it really does sound like you're the only adult in the house, and I can just imagine how you must feel.
your husband isn't being much of a husband or father to his children. all of this sounds like a result of not "cutting the apron strings" with his mother. and this is a shame. she is missing out on a relationship with you, and with her grandchildren. and she and her son are to blame. he should be upset that his mother doesn't care about you and the children. and he's going to have to do something about his relationship with his mother. it's down right unhealthy for everyone involved! it also sounds like she's driven a wedge between you and your husband, and he's let her do it.
and him pretending to be asleep when you're trying to talk to him is his way of showing his unwillingness to behave like the adult that he is, and it's also showing his unwillingness to change or acknoledge your feelings!
there's some major work to be done, and it can't all be done at one time. it's going to have to be one thing at a time. but if your husband loves you and your children, he will work on it. and he will start by opening up his eyes and listening to you when you're trying to talk to him. then he's going to have to decide what he's going to do about this very unhealthy relationship with his mother.
I can tell you right now that he needs to cut the apron strings, and put this woman in her place! then he needs to start working on mending his relationship with you and the children.
I could go on and on, but I'm sure you'd get tired of reading! I just feel so bad for you and the kids.
if he really loves you and his children, he will start taking steps to undo the damage that has been done.
I really wish you the very best. and I will keep you in my prayers.
2006-11-08 17:32:36 · answer #4 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is what's been going on for 8 years, I wouldnt expect things to change. Since you and your children have a life together. And your husband and his mom have a life together. Why not simply make it legal? What prevents the big D option???
2006-11-08 16:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate in a different way. Ask yourself are you better off without him or with him? I will let you know when I decide...lol. I know it's not funny, just find a way to make yourself happy no matter what you decide.
I don't know about you but I have repeatedly asked my husband to go to marriage counseling and he won't do it.
2006-11-08 17:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he's working on the marriage at all. Does he see what you see? Does he agree with your concerns? Perhaps it's time to have a serious talk. Make him commit to an hour to listen and discuss the issue with you. Or drag him to marriage counseling.
2006-11-08 16:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by Chicagoan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, it looks like you are already doing fine without him so why don't you face the reality that you could do fine on your own & get him out of your house. I am positive that there are quite a few others out there who would greatly appreciate you. Good luck!
2006-11-08 16:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by bluedawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad part is that I am living in the same situation. But my mother in-law has given my one good piece of advice: People never change. Sad but oh so true.
2006-11-08 17:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family Therapy....pronto.
2006-11-08 16:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋