Feeling pretty crappy right now. Someone want to enlighten me?

Question

I just got back from a swim meet and i didnt do so well. On top of that, my dad put me down a lot about how i swim. Also, he connected my swimming inconsistency with my grades at school which arent that bad at all. Im getting a 3.4 GPA right now and taking all honors but my parents (dad especially) make it seem like im failing everything and will never succeed or go to college. Im so sick of them. He always argues about the same thing time after time and we never reach any conclusions. He says that he listens but he never actually does. Also, my date for a dance to whom i was really sweet and nice to continued to say bad things about me which she started a really long time ago. Im really nop up to this bs cuz im used to being nice and im really disturbed at the fatc thta my kindness was not appreciated. How do i stop this crap? Im so sick of everybody! I always get put down and never encouraged by my own parents. Wtf should i do?

for the swimming part, im the best swimmeri n school and a potential candidate for being captain of the team. Today just wasnt my day and my dad had to even make it worse.

Answer 1

i would love to be able to tell you that you could have a talk with your father about how his behavior is affecting you but this isn't an after school special. I would just spend time focusing on your postives, and mainting your good average and swiming abilities because it will make it easier to go to college and thus get out of your house forever. parents come down hard on children often because THEY'RE told that even brilliant children who excel at everything can get rejected from great schools, and that your child will only suceed if the go to an ivy, etc. It's all crap but the news stresses out your parents and they in turn stress out you. defrag by going for a run or playing video games or something and try to keep positive

Answer 2

Don't get to down on yourself hon. Being a teenager is hard (I would NEVER want to go through that again!!!!). Your grades are really good, I wouldn't complain about that with my kid!! As for your swimming, you sound like you are really good at it. Try to sit and talk to your dad about how you feel. I know it's not a "man" thing to do, but I think trying open communitcation would be better than bottling up your emotions. You will eventually resent your dad and maybe start self destructive behavior. If he won't listen talk to your mom or a school counselor. If you still don't get anywhere, then just take the GOOD things your dad has to offer and don't pay any attention to the bad things he says. My parents did that kind of crap to me when it came to my weight, even though I know that they had the best of intentions (and I wasn't even fat in high school, I was on the swim team too, but they made me feel like a gigantic lard!) it still damaged my self esteem. Try not to take the negative things your dad says to heart. Keep your chin up and keep up the good work. Don't give up and stay on the right path your are on!!! Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Try to let your dad's words roll off your back, cuz you know they're not true. Sounds like he's a die hard pessimist and he sounds pretty verbally abusive really...I'm sorry that he treats you that way. Just keep getting those great grades! I'm a total stranger, but I'd like to tell you that I'm very proud of you!! One day you'll be out of his house and I'm sure you'll have a much happier life then. Just keep your head up son, and don't let him get you down!

As for the swim meet, everyone is bound to not do so well once in a while, so don't beat yourself up about that.

Girls can be just plain ruthless sometimes, and this girl you're talking about sounds like a real b*tch. Ignore her and forget about her. There will be someone who is right for you and who will appreciate you. You'll find her someday, just give it time honey.

Please believe in yourself! You are the one person you can never give up on! You do matter! You are a good young man!

I wish you all the best dear! :)

Answer 4

If you like this girl, talk to her and ask her not to put you down. If she continues to do so, leave her and get a new date. You need to be able to have a good time at the dance, not to be put down.

Looks like your dad has personal issues. I think that even if you had a 4.0 average and had the best (swimming) times in the school, he would still find something to yell at you about.

I would say focus on your studies and your swimming and try as hard as you can to go to college and try for a scholarship. If you have enough cash or a scholarship, then live on-campus at the college of your choice. That way you will be away from the people who are putting you down.

If you live out of home either one of two things will happen. A - you parents won't change. or B - your parents will kiss your a55 big time 'cause you left home and they want you back. Maybe to continue yelling at your, or hopefully because they realised that yelling at you wasn't the right thing to do.

No matter what you say to your dad, he won't change. Only he can change himself. You need to stay strong and focussed and get yourself to college!

Answer 5

Hi sweety, you can never please everyone,even your own parents.Life isn't about making others happy,do it for you,have confidence in yourself.If I were you I would right some kind of essay,like you were doing it for school and title it something like why am I never good enough. Leave it in your house somewhere in a convenient spot where you know your parents will pick it up and read it. Maybe that will get the point across good luck keep your head up as far as the girl being an ***,you can't change the world its full of them. Go on your too young to let it get you down,someday soon you won't see these people again who have influenced your life in high school they'll be a little dot in your memory.

Answer 6

ok here it goes. by the way, i don't give a crap about how crazy you are in swimming and such. what you do is just ignore your parents. what they say will just keep hurting you. Do you think you are gonna fail in life? do you want to fail in the future? no right? you have a goal and you are going to work for that, and even if you don't get good gpa, i mean you own swimming; you can become a swimmer. But if that isn't the case, just dont give up. you will be alright after high school. 3.4 gpa is actually pretty good. when you get to college, you will find your interest and eventually major in it and get a job. and about your girl. that ***** hates you now. find another one. dont go into depression cause that will only worsen it. you really sound like myself, even the swimming part. dont give up.

Answer 7

I'm sorry you had such a bad day! Those always suck! It does sound like from your point of view, that you're doing well in school and trying to be a good guy.
I don't know you parents, obviously, but honesty is always the best policy. Could you tell your dad you want to talk and then gently and non-accusingly, just tell him you are feeling like you're letting him down? Explain you are trying to do the best you can at school and that you want to be responsible but that you need his support too, not just criticism.
As far as the girl, i tell you the best thing to do is get to know a girl from a 'friend' standpoint before asking her out. it may sound old-fashioned but actually it really can prevent you from going thru a lot of crap. it gives you a chance to know the quality of the person before dating. Whatever you do, DO NOT stop being kind just because others are jerks. Treat others like you want to be treated....it really is the best policy.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

Answer 8

Bummer! Some parents just shouldn't be allowed to be parents, because they really don't understand what they should be doing.
You sound like a pretty good kid, getting pretty good grades, and doing a pretty neat job with the swim team.
The sad fact is that some parents just don't know how to parent and it sounds like you've got a prime example. I know where you're coming from because my mom spend my teen years telling me how ugly I was (just what I needed to hear) and pointing out that my grades were lousy (I graduated at 15 with a 4.2 GPA) and I'd never amount to anything. My dad wasn't much better. He spent his spare time poking holes in my bedroom wall to watch me undress.
Not what you'd call a great set of parents.
But I got lucky. I started swimming, met a great coach who convinced me that I had a lot going for me, that I was smart, and that I could do anything I set my mind to. He also told me the only person I had to satisfy was myself. Don't worry about pleasing others, set your own goals and work to achieve them. He was right. I found more satisfaction in succeeding in a challenge I had set for myself than I ever did in getting pats on the back from my parents.
Those came later, after I'd graduated from university with an MA
(all done by myself, financed by myself) earned one quarter of a world record in medley relay, and launched into a wonderful career. THEN they decided to be proud of me, but by that time, it didn't matter. I'd learned to do without their 'approval' because it didn't really count for much. And I met a really great guy who believed in me from day one. We have a very happy marriage, and three kids who praise and congratulate every chance I get.
Sounds like we're running on parallel tracks, doesn't it? Only I've been there longer than you have.
So hang in there, my friend. Believe in yourself. And set your own standards.
one other thing -- you've been working hard, training hard -- are you getting enough sleep? That can make a big difference in your outlook. It won't change your dad's attitude, but will make it easier for you to let things roll off your back.

Answer 9

Well, you and i had something in common.

But i only like swimming, i'm not really into a team or anything.

Whats the prob? It's like the end of the world for you..

Cheer up man, its not like you're dying or anything.

If i were you, i would go out and hang out with some friends, boys of course since you're having problem with a girl, just play along with the rest of your bad day..

It'll turn out good, believe me..

Cheer up kay?

Answer 10

it sounds like your dad is just really hard on you, maybe overly so, but it's probably because he wants you to work so hard.
i have the same problem with my parents and playing waterpolo.
sometimes they try to take their anger out on me because they're not feeling well.. and they get away with it because they're our parents.
there really is no solution for this problem.
teens all over the world are having the same problems you are, and it isn't fair to any of us.
my advice is to calm down a little bit, then talk to your parents about it.
good luck. =]