My fiancee' and I have been together for 5 years. We are 18 years old. We dated all through highschool. Anyways... I feel I am more "ready for the world" than he is. I know the value of a dollar.. and he doesn't. He wants to spend all his hard earned money on his system for his truck, shoes, clothes..etc. He is very irresponsible with money among other things.. I try to teach him things about being responsible. I am going to college to be an RN and he didn't go to college, he just works full time. Should I try to lead him in the right direction and hope he will change... or do you think it matters? In other words, Is it possible for a irresponsible man to become responsible?
2006-11-08 16:06:32 · 19 answers · asked by Britni Gayle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Guys mature more slowly than girls do. It is possible for an irresponsible man to become responsible. The only way to lead him is by example. If you say too much to him, you'll be frustrated and he'll be resentful.
2006-11-08 16:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be careful! You are at the age where the 2 of you will change so dramatically in the next 2 years. And you need to remember that so that things like this won't either keep you together, or break you apart for the WRONG reasons. If he insists on working full time and spending his money rather than continuing his education, trying to save money, and having the potential to contribute more to the family the 2 of you want to build after you get married, then he may not be seeing the big picture.
It's true that girls mature faster than boys. However, if he really wants to marry someone like you who believes it's important to invest in your (single or married) future, he may just have to think about what he really wants to do about the current situation and how his decisions will affect your future together.
He should grow out of it... hopefully. But make your thoughts known about this. Let him know you feel that it should be an equal investment.
2006-11-09 00:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by Chiky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he will change. Also you're going to college, therefore you'll be more educated, which doesn't mean much when you're young, however when you get older you will find that you are way above him and it will eventually drive you nuts because you can't hold a intelligent conversation. You've been together since you're 13, trust me on this, in the long run it will not work.
2006-11-09 00:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can become a responsible person, but he has to want to first.
and until he want's to, he's not going to change.
and if he's still spending all his money on his truck, shoes, and clothes, he's still got a lot of growing up to do, so I sure wouldn't rush into marriage any time soon.
it's great that you're trying to show him how to be responsible with his money, and I really hope he will listen to you.
Good Luck with everything.
2006-11-09 00:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by atiana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did your nanna ever tell you the old saying you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink if it doesnt want to?
theres your answer you loved him the way he was and you cant change that well he loves the way he is and he wont change that unless HE wants to so its something he has to want as much as you.
remember women are smarter in the head then men because we mature before them trust me he will grow out of it. and your the one who wants to "see the world" as your interest and his hobby is buying things for his truck and doing his own thing you got your money hes got his.
whats wrong with that? he wants his own things. oh and another thing right now your doing what you wanna do and hes doing wat he wants to do so its not unfair and i think yous are preety dam equal there.
2006-11-09 00:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats sweet that your trying to marry your highschool sweet heart, but it sounds like hes not ready for the world just yet, have you thought about finding someone that is more responsible like yourself ? if not...than yes you may be able to change things for him and get him on his feet it would show how much you love him but if he dont than it would show how much he isnt ready for this type of change.
2006-11-09 00:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kinda agree with cupidgirl to a certain extent. but then again, two people are never really much the same, if you come to think of it. you may not find hanging out at the coffee bar with a bunch of friends really a necessary idea but it does to him- it is his mode of contact with his pals. and this extents very much to the way we want to lead our lives. it really depends. if he spends that much and doesnt know how to save, let him learn the lesson of what happens when he doesnt. in short, dont bail him out of this situation all the time. but you gotta make it clear to him- these differences and how one day it can just all clash right in your faces.
will your 5 yr relationship be ready to face that?
2006-11-09 00:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anna D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, in my time I've been able to turn a drug dealer, a work-a-holic, and a wild and crazy spender around. It takes time and patience, but once they come over to your dark-side (of being responsible) they'll be like putty in your hands. They will change, mature and grow and be delighted in seeing you delighted. It can work!
2006-11-09 00:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by LuckyEddie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BOTH OF YOU ARE PRETTY YOUNG. SO IT WOULD BE
WISER TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT
WHAT GOING ON. WOMEN SOMETIME ARE MATURE THEN
MEN. BUT IF YOU WANT THIS TO WORK THEN LET HIM
KNOW NOW THE DEAL. AND HOPE THINGS WORK IT
SELF OUT BUT TIME WILL TELL HOWTHIS WILL PLAY OUT
BUT DONT GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS FOR ANY ONE IF HE
DOESNT FEEL THE SAME IT MAY BE TIME TO MOVE ON.
HOPEFUL HE WILL CHANGE BUT SOMETIME THEY DONT.
GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-09 00:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, it IS possible AND sure, he CAN change!
This is the thing, you can HOPE he will change, but HE HAS to WANT to change.
There are times we want what's best for other people but it comes down to them, they have to understand, as noone can do it for them!
2006-11-09 00:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by julesrules 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋