Lately I've been finding myself scared to get into conversations with people I don't know well, for fear that the conversation will go silent and feel awkward. I've been trying to meet new people and start new friendships, but even when things start out well I'm still terrified that suddenly there will be nothing left to say! I never used to be this way, I used to be totally outgoing and loved talking, and now I feel like I never have anything to say and it scares me. Any tips on how to get over a fear of awkwardness??
2006-11-08 15:57:21 · 7 answers · asked by Celia 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I used to really shy when I was young. I wasted so many years and opportunities because of it. As I got older, I realized why I was shy ... and one of the many reasons was what you are mentioning here. I think most people have these type of fears from time to time. So ... here are some of the ways I learned to deal with this type situation. First of all, what is the worst thing that is going to happen if you are in a conversation that goes silent? You feel awkward. That's it. The other person probably feels the same way. I would pause a moment ... and actually point out the fact that we got silent! When you address something like that directly - it relieves the tension that both/all parties are probably feeling. Just say "well what do ya know, weve run out of things to say. How could THAT happen?!?" This will more than likely make the other person or people laugh and alot of times they will say something funny and you will both laugh and it will lead to more conversation. PLUS ... it puts the ball in THIER court to come up with a comment! The pressure is off of you. You are only half responsible for keeping the conversation rolling - not totally responsible.
2006-11-08 16:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by lesliejay63 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the best ways to overcome a fear is to live through it and come safely out the other side. (This is not applicable to physically dangerous activities, obviously.) Strike up a conversation with someone you meet randomly, and purposefully take the conversation into an awkward direction. Once you've lived through it and seen that it's not as horrible as you've been imagining, you will gain confidence from conquering your fear.
2006-11-08 16:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wizard of Tao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. When you run out of things to say, try ASKING some things.
Like finding out more about the person you are talking to. Ask them where they grew up and if they have siblings. What kind of music do they like or where they went to school? Pets, art, even ask if they think they might have lived another lifetime in some other culture. Which culture? There are a thousand roads to go down when you ask questions. When you feel like you must be talking every minute, the silence from your "listener" tells you they are not a part of your lecture.
Involve them and then it's a two way street.
2006-11-08 16:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not going to be the answer you want to hear but it is the god honest truth...
The source of the arkwardness is your own fear...
And you can not pretend not to be afraid...
(if you could... you would be making millions of dollars in hollywood.)
Its a catch 22...
You will never overcome this problem while you fear it...
And you will probably always fear it untill you start to overcome it.
As soon as you lose your fear and could not care less what anyone else thinks of you they will start to want to know you...
In your case I think you cant have it until you no longer crave it......
As to overcome your fear you must stop wanting positive attention (being needy) and stop caring if anyone does not like you... and when you dont care... you will not be afraid of missing something.... and at that point people will sense the strength growing in you and they will start to want what you no longer want from them.
2006-11-08 16:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by morphonius821 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the other person instead of thinking about what you will say next. When you're thinking about what you will say next, you miss part of what the other person is saying. This is when the conversation turns awkward. If you are really interested in what the other person is saying, things go more smoothly.
2006-11-08 16:03:37 · answer #5 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him a question regarding issues with maintenance staff or office aid. It shouldn't be that hard. Good Luck!
2016-03-19 05:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go for it hun. talk to your friends. and slowly talk to their friends. and move on. you will get those awkward moments, shoot i even do with my OWN friends. we just get over it and get a new topic. its not a big deal and no one blames anyone or anything. itll be fine. you will grow out of this shy phase.
2006-11-08 16:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by xsummermagikx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PRACTICE
2006-11-08 16:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by double clutch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋