she has a cell phone and i have caught her using it after curfew and now i found her texting when i told her i wouldnt allow it and she figured out the code to get into texting. i am so frustrated that i dont know how to punish her. any ideas.
p.s. she has been grounded from her phone, computer, and social priveleges for the past 2 weeks.
2006-11-08 15:15:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she did make a proposal about texting since she wants to do it. she said i could pay for the minutes on her plan and she pays for anything extra (texting, ringers, games, etc.)
2006-11-08 15:28:30 · update #1
she was in trouble one year ago for calling people after curfew and now a year later she gets in trouble with her cell phone again. i feel that she is getting to the age where she does need a phone so i dont want to take it away forever.
2006-11-08 15:46:08 · update #2
well, this is what my mom did when i was in high school (and it worked, trust me).
she took the cell phone away from me for two weeks.
and she also told me that since i wasnt responsible enough to be talking on my cell phone, that all phone calls had to be placed to the house--and no phone calls to the house after 9. I had to let my friends know NOT to call after nine o clock, because I would then get into trouble if they had not been informed. and since i was incapable of being responsible, i wasnt allowed to go out for two weeks until i got my phone back because "there was no way to call mom to tell her where i was, or call her if there was an emergency." and if i HAD to go out for two weeks, then i had to call her when i got there (proof that i was there, because mom had caller ID) and call her when i left.
and when i got my cell back, i had to do the same thing.
the only reason i got this punishment is because i had done it three other times prior.
trust me--
i wanted to be able to go out and do things,
even if it meant calling my mom and telling her where i was and who i was with.
and after that she took my cell phone back after curfew for about a month to ensure that i would not call anyone after curfew, and took my house phone away from my room for a month too.
2006-11-08 16:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by UNCBballGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the cell phone away for a month and let her know that next time it's gone for good -- like through the end of the school year.
No TV for 2 weeks
No computer for 2 more weeks unless it's for school/learning.
No social for 2 more weeks.
Then fill up all of her extra time with chores around the house for 2 weeks, and don't pay her for them.
If the punishment is big like this, then she'll get the impressions that it's a BIG deal to you that she not abuse her cell phone priveleges. The cell phone is a privelege, like driving. You have to follow the rules or the privelege goes away and life gets really rough for a while!
2006-11-08 15:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by LiveLifeBeGood 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do what my parents did to me with our home phone (before every one and their grandmother had a cell)... Take it away until she can prove she is responsible enough to follow your rules. Here is one idea... since you said she made a proposal to pay for the extras and you pay minutes, Draw up a "contract" that she has to sign, stating how she will pay for these extras, what her curfew is (even though I'm sure you have had to go over it with her before) and what her punishments will be for violating the contract. Make sure she knows that her cell phone is not a right, it is a privilege and can be taken away at your discretion... god i sound like my father...
2006-11-08 15:54:04 · answer #3 · answered by Tiggy's Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take her phone away and if you have an internet service like AOL- go to the main screen name and lock her out of the account by changing her password, or you can set her allowed time on line to two minutes. You will be able to check and see if she tried to log on and she'll get shut down.
I will NEVER understand why parents allow kids to have computers intheir rooms instead of in a common space in the house where parents can walk by and see where they are surfing and who they are chatting with.
Rules are rules, and if she broke your rules and got herself grounded, she should either do the time correctly or at the end of the prescribed punishment time, you can tell her, "OK. Since you disobeyed the rules of grounding and used your computer, cell phone, text messaging etc. we are starting your grounding all over again and this time you will do it right. That way you can learn how to follow directions and you will think long and hard before doing again what you did to get grounded in the first place."
Remember one thing mom...YOU are the parent. Her time under your roof will be far shorther than you can imagine. You only have this small window of time to teach her how to function out in the world. If you wimp out on her now about making amends for wrongdoing or for taking responsiblility for her actions, you will be teaching her that she can get away with behaving badly at work, in adult relationships and in her life.
The consequences of bad behavior in the adult world are getting fired from a job, losing a relationship, divorcing, jail, court and other life altering events. Do it right while you can and you will give the world a healthy, responsible adult woman who makes the world a better place to live.
2006-11-08 15:30:26 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow you're strict. . .That's way more of a punishment then she deserved for simply texting someone and talking after curfew. . . Just sit down and talk to her about it. . If you really don't want her to text message anyone, call the service and ask them to put a lock on the phone. My dad did that to the part that downloads games, which is quite annoying but effective. Anyway, I would give her back her privileges if I were you. . That punishment is a little to harsh for the crime.
2006-11-08 19:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by Darko 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, since she has decided that she can get her way by paying her way...then let her. I did this with my seventeen year old daughter except, we had her pay the entire bill since she was so rich. Her phone was disconnected in two months. Going out to the movies with friends and eating out was more important. Needless to say, we bailed her out, but did get limits on her new phone, and made her pay us back in smaller payments that the bill. But she learned that we tell her yes and no for a reason. They never stop thinking that they are smarter than us do they?
2006-11-08 15:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Ofie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Replace her cell phone with one of those kids' "Firefly" phones! YOU put in all of the phone numbers she can dial out on or receive calls from. There is no text messaging, it's pretty crappy in general, but she'll have a phone if she needs YOU or another responsible party. Make her earn back her good phone with good behavior. Good luck!
2006-11-08 15:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by fearslady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? Is a phone something she needs with her 24/7 or can you have it with you when she is home? If she is still texting she is not off the phone so she broke her grounding so why does she still have the phone? Are you in charge of your home or is she?
2006-11-08 15:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Robin M 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it's really out of control, only let her have possession of the phone when she is out of the house: It has to be left on the front table or wherever when she enters the house. Her friends can call your home phone, and message her on the internet.
2006-11-08 16:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by sweetwickedgrl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but you sound a little extreme. I can't find any reason why she can't call people after you "curfew". Maybe just take a breather and talk to her about her cell phone privileges. Grounding and password protection is not the answer.
2006-11-08 15:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by salivate16 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋