I was married and fell in love with a girl who was also married. We both had very bad spouses and fell for each other. I helped her through some very trying times but after those times past she seemed to withdraw from the relationship. She said that she was falling to hard and did not want to allow herself to feel so deeply because of her current husband and a past one. I am now divorced. She is still married and we have sex and live like we are a couple whenever we are 2gether ALONE but she seems to withdraw even more when we are apart. She use to email and instant message me all the time but now she doesnt. She says that she still loves me but I am unsure of what to do. I am happy about my divorce but I am wondering if I should start dating again or should I wait and see how we turn out. I love her, she is the girl of my dreams but I dont know if she really loves me or if she just loves the way I appreciate her.
2006-11-08 14:44:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AK,
This is ALOT like the situation I was in before, ONLY reversed------------------- I can't speak for "your girl", but from a gal's point of view, I'm seeing from all you described, SHE is confused and she got caught up in you, probably feels guilty, and is in a tough spot about what to do with her marriage..............................
She is going through alot emotionally and I'm sure she does love you. It's a confusing time for her with alot of emotions going on.
Don't drop her, 'cause we all need someone in our lives who care and if you disappear, she would be lost, I can tell you that!
I'd say it would be good to get out there and date, but stay in touch with this girl too.
What you "should do" is all up to you. You said she is the girl of your dreams, THEN, stand by her--------------LOVE is PATIENT.
That;s it right there, how much she means to you!
Next, I'm wondering maybe "your girl" doesn't exactly know where she stands with you. Does she know you love her? Have you offered her a future with you? Maybe she needs some reassurance so that maybe she can have that strength to leave her husband, if she knows she "fits in" your life!
Divorce isn't easy as you already know, and maybe for "your girl" she is having a hard time with the idea of fully "letting go" of her marriage for whatever reasons, SO I wouldn't take her hesitation personal cuz she is dealing and going through alot all at once!
Talk to her, be there for her, just be her friend right now, and you might be ok with that if the both of you are secure in your love for each other, see? Please don't turn your back on her. That's all I wanted to say.
Good luck to you both and with your support she will get through her problems, you will see!
2006-11-08 15:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When a woman backs off from a relationship it means one thing and one thing only.She is trying to let you down easy without hurting your feelings.She tells you she loves you,what she is really telling you is she loves the fun you two have when you two are together.She does love her husband and she is trying to tell you ,your just not listen and you don't want to hear it. She is confused and your not making it any easier for her to do the right thing.Leave her alone if she really loves you she will come back to you.
2006-11-09 01:14:03 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"...but I dont know if a) she really loves me or if b) she just loves the way I appreciate her."
Good job! You answered your own question. Pick "b".
Now that you've resolved that question, drop this closed-loop of a relationship and go find someone that loves the way you appreciate her AND loves YOU.
2006-11-08 22:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me this sounds like she's just putting u on the back burner just in case her marriage doesn't work out. In other words, she's stringing u along. I say move on. If she's as unhappy as she claims to be then why hasn't she left her husband yet?
2006-11-08 22:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is totally playing you. She probably found someone else...that's usually how cheaters operate. Seriously, you need to move on and find someone who will appreciate you (that is hopefully single).
2006-11-08 23:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by 2Good4U 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If shes the girl of you dreams, dont let her go. Play hard to get yourself for a hot minute, see if that gets her back.
Girls love attention she may be getting attention elsewhere thats better.
2006-11-08 22:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by renee h 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OMG!!! More people who have no morals and no idea of what commitment is or respect for the ones they married.
2006-11-08 22:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. If she was as serious about you as you are about her she wouldn't be withdrawing.
2006-11-08 22:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by tooyoung2bagrannybabe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, she is not willing to leave her husband. Move on
2006-11-08 22:46:54 · answer #9 · answered by Angel2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋