Husband spit in my face 3 times?

Question

Me and my husband had the most intense agruement last night.We yelled called each other every name possible and he grabbed me pushed me and he spat in my face 3 times.I am totally disgusted .We have no children and im only 19 we got married in may .I have not spoken to him and i plan to keep things that way for awhile.In the rage of things he threw his labtop on the concrete and its distroyed. I dont want to be another statistic but i am totally fed up.When we do fight its like i cant stop taunting the sitaution and i say hurtful things that cut really deep.How can i learn to control my mouth AND leave the situation instead of watching it escalate ? Suggestions?Its clear he has no respect but now what ....Do i leave or seek help ? ? What would you do ? ? ** please no wise-guy comments** I just want honest answers.Im an only child so i dont have an older brother to run to the rescue.It was just me and my husband.Im 19 and new to this marriage thing but im sure this is not it .

Answer 1

DO NOT LEAVE HIM!!! I knew you were an only child or at least a spoiled one. I was just like you are now. I was not an only child, but we were all spoiled. I always knew how to get my way, and that is what you are going through now. I too got married at a young age, 18, to be exact. My hubby and I are still together with today being our 22nd anniversary. I had a mouth then and if I think things are not right my mouth will still snap. You will get over it. You were spit in the face, well, I was smacked in the face. You were lucky. I got over it, though. You are going to have to learn how to control your temper. I understand you, but you really need to grow up fast. With the attitude that you have you are going to end up with a divorce. You are married. It is time for you to grow up, and I mean both of you guys. You are a young lady, not a child. If he continues to treat you like a child, then you need to check him. You are newly weds. Rule #1 never go to bed angry...That is your husband, you have to make up or at least talk about it before going to bed. I do believe it is a sin to go to bed angry.

If you are angry, do not let it become sin. Get over your anger before the day is finished.....Ephesians 4:26

A man with a bad temper starts fights, but he who is slow to anger quiets fighting......Proverbs 15:18

Stop being angry. Turn away from fighting. Do not trouble yourself. It leads only to wrong-doing.....Psalm 37:8

Answer 2

Spit In Face

Answer 3

Having an argument is one thing, but spitting in someone's face is crossing the line. Spitting in someone's face normally means the person has absolutely NO respect for you or your opinions and feels superior to you.

If I were you, I would leave. No man would ever spit in my face and be allowed a second chance.

It makes me wonder if the next time he might take a step further and actually hit you.

You may be only 19 years old, but you have a right to be treated with respect. I read something interesting recently that said "people tend to treat US the same way we treat ourselves." Having said that, is it possible that you don't have high self esteem? People in relationships with low self confidence normally don't get a lot of respect from their partner.

I'm 43 yrs old and what I'm about to tell you I know I didn't know when I was 19. I wish I had and maybe my life would have been so much easier.

Here it is:

Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Treat yourself well. Get your self respect and your self judgement from looking in the mirror and don't rely on someone else to build you up. Once you believe in your own worth as a person, you won't allow anyone to put you down.

There may be things that have happened to you in the past that have beaten you down........but you need to decide right now if those things are going to define your future or do you want a future in which you can hold your head high and know that you deserve better?

What happened to you with your boyfriend might be your "lightbulb" moment in your life when you realize that you deserve to be treated with dignity and not settle for anything less.

As far as the hurtful things you said, you may want to try to read some books on anger management. When you read them, you'll find out that most of the things you rage about another person is because you feel a sense of powerlessness and want to be heard and valued as a person. Learning new ways to cope with anger can help you avoid these things and help build your self esteem

Good luck to you!
Sincerely,
Robin_in_Tennessee

Answer 4

LEAVE HIM..........whatever you said to him obviously caused him lose respect for you if he spit on you. People only spit on people they absolutely can't stand. Your fed up and he is fed up. You both were wrong on both parts, you probably had few more heated arguments in the past but if you two continue the way you are the relationship will just fall apart. Life is short you both are too young to be having issues like this. Marriage is not about spitting in someones face(him) or continuously adding fuel to the fire(you). Its about understanding love and commitment. Believe me I'm not trying to beat up on you spitting in someone face is disgusting and he needs his a$$ kicked for that, but you know your husband and you may have pushed things a bit too far. Is this the first time he spit in your face.? Are you still living with him? Has either of you apologized? Are you really that fed up? Do you believe he can change? DO YOU BELIEVE HE IS THE ONE FOR YOU??Are the questions you should be asking yourself.

Know one knows your marriage like you it is your decision, I'm just trying to give you some guidance. GOD BLESS

One thing I have to ask, is why did you get married so young??

Answer 5

OH NO HE DIDN'T! Girl 19 or not the man has no respect for you! Ok so your not speaking to him...GOOD...now lets escalate that by packing your stuff, moving back home or getting a place of your own (finances allowing) and make this situation a thing of the past before it gets worse like YOU BECOMING A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTIC. You know you have a bit of a mouth on you and that's good because you know where you need work. Marriage is about mutual respect and admiration. He SPIT on you, nothing about that says He Respects me or He Admires me does it. I have a question was he like this before you two decided to jump the ole broom. If so then SHAME on you! You have to know a leopard never changes his spots. All is not lost darlin' you live and you learn. Thank God your still young, I am sure very attractive and apparently intelligent. There is a man out there with all the fixins with your name written on his heart. Next time take the time to learn more about yourself and then your potential mate before you make such life altering decisions.
If he gives you any problems leaving, HIT ME UP! I Have 5 Older Brothers who have no problems coming to do some damage!
Good luck.

Answer 6

Get help fast. This is no way to live. You deserve respect. There is a group called "Life Skills" that can help you understand why you do the things you do. They also have an anger management class that is extremely helpful. Don't put it off...this could escalate into way more abuse than it already it. You may be mouthy but you do NOT deserve to be spit on or anything else. Men are usually stronger and if he is already physical in his anger you may be in danger. GET HELP!! Check out this website and ask for the closest group to you. I have been through this class and it helped me SO MUCH!!

Answer 7

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Husband spit in my face 3 times?
Me and my husband had the most intense agruement last night.We yelled called each other every name possible and he grabbed me pushed me and he spat in my face 3 times.I am totally disgusted .We have no children and im only 19 we got married in may .I have not spoken to him and i plan to keep things...

Answer 8

Wow, that sounds awful. Two things, I think. First, you need to try and get into some marriage counseling, and maybe figure out a way to communicate better. I'd suggest anger-management, but as somebody that turns up her nose at therapeutic suggestions herself, I can understand why you'd want to avoid such a thing. Try taking a walk, or a drive, or a deep breath, or whatever can slow your brain down long enough to talk and not just react. Second - don't be afraid of "being a statistic." 19 is young to be married, and if this doesn't work out than it isn't because you failed at being a wife. Its because you shouldn't have gotten married but hell...we all make mistakes, right? Don't make yourself miserable. Just figure out what you need to do, and do it...even if that means leaving your husband. The escalation to physical violence is truly a bad sign of things to come - avoid those things.

Answer 9

You are both violent people. A man should never hit a woman (or spit in her face) but you should not be attacking people with bottles either. You should leave before one of you end up badly injured more than you are.

Answer 10

The first question you need to ask yourself is why did the two of you get married in the first place? The home life you describe is definitely not a healthy one and it rarely sounds happy. Counseling should always be the first resort when it comes to unhappiness in marriage, but there is so much physical, verbal, and mental abuse that counseling might not help your situation. I think that the two of you should seperate temporarily if the two of you do decide that both of you want counseling, otherwise, seek an annullment or divorce.

Answer 11

Sounds to me like this man wasn't worth marrying. He has no respect for you to spit in your face 3 times. It doesn't look good.