what was the common form of asking one's hand in marriage in the 18th century?

Question

I want to learn how marriage proposals were done in the 18th century. Was it common for a man to just ask the woman or did they normally ask the family first? Who really decided whether the answer was yes or no?

Answer 1

It really depends on what country / culture you are talking about. Not sure how Asian, African, etc cultures worked.

In the Euro-American culture, marriages were "arranged". In Europe, there were professionals who arranged marriages (see the Barbra Streisand movie "Yentl" about 'marriage arrangers' in Belo-Russia). Dad decided.

Answer 2

In England and the USA, it was proper for the young man to talk to the father before proposing to the woman. If the father found him unacceptable, he was not supposed to propose. Got messy if he did.

If no father, the chain of command was brother, then male guardian (uncle, stepfather, brother-in-law, etc) and finally the mother.


Women who were living on their own without relatives often dispensed with this. If they were old enough to be considered a spinster (22 and older), they usually got married on their own.

Answer 3

go to Dad first

Answer 4

Try this site

http://www.drizzle.com/~celyn/mrwp/mrwed.html

Answer 5

will tho marry thy