My Ex-Hubby wants me back, but in going back to him I have to accept the fact he drinks and smokes POT, I hate both of them, but if I don't go back to him my kids Boycott me, they are grown and not being fair to me it hurts what would you do in this type of situtition, pleaseeeeeeeeee helppppp
thanks
2006-11-08 14:31:10 · 11 answers · asked by kb_babydoll6@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you willing to live the rest of your making compromises for everyone else to accept you ,even when it means you will be unhappy? There are worse things in life than being alone.Your ex is not wiling to make any changes in his lifestyle so how would going back be better now than it was before?What would be in this relationship for you.Trust me ,you have to learn to love yourself and believe you deserve better in life than always being last in peoples' lives. You deserve to be happy, to have joy and peace in your daily life.You need to realize that you are not being selfish by trying to secure a good life and future for you.Your children should want you to be happy in life not alienate you for standing up for yourself. I can't tell you not to go back with your ex but before you decide please do the following 2 things. Seek counselling for yourself and ask yourself what is there in the relationship for you. Good luck.
2006-11-08 14:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will only go back it he gets help and stops the drinking and smoking pot. If he doesn't then don't go back, it's not worth you not being happy. You say the kids are grown but it sounds like they are acting like little kids. Do they that their dad drinks and smokes pot? If they don't tell them, and let them know that is why you don't want to go back, unless he gets help. That is if you do wan to go back to him. The most important thing is that you are happy, there is no need to you to be miserable. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-11-08 15:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this, Weed is still illegal so if you are around it you are an accessory. Tell your ex straight up that its either the booze and weed, or me. That will tell how much he really wants you back. As for the kids. Well they are grown and able to make their own decisions no matter how stupid they might be.
2006-11-08 14:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I guess my question is: Do you want him back - regardless of what your kids want? If yes, then ...
Tell him and your children that you will CONSIDER the idea after he completes a 12 step program and agrees to family counseling for a minimum of one year. Secondly, tell your children that they must attend all of the family counseling sessions with you both.
Something to ponder: You dated married and divorced this man without your children's ultimatums - Your happiness and well being is your decision
2006-11-08 15:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Erik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you honestly think you would be able to live with the habits of his that you hate? Are you a grown woman? Do not let your kids or anyone else influence you. You live your life the way YOU want to
2006-11-08 14:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you willing choose to go back to your ex under those circumstances??
If you kids are grown, talk to them like adults and let them know what their father is doing and why you don't want that life for yourself.
2006-11-08 14:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you're an adult.. so you make decisions for yourself. Not your kids making them for you. If you 'want' to go back to him then do it. If not, then don't. I know it doesn't 'seem' as simple as that, but it is. If you'd take him back if it weren't for the party favors, then tell him the only way you'd take him back is if he either cut back a great deal or quit altogether.
2006-11-08 14:33:39 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well you have to do what your heart feels. I have learned that you should not do what others want you to, that always leaves you in heartache and that you have missed out on what you wanted to do. if you want to get back with your ex then tell him how you feel of his drug use, and if you were important to him then he will quit that for you.
2006-11-08 14:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by thumperprice26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I no your kids are very important to you, but they are wrong,wrong,wrong.It's your life now and you need to tell them that .Their are good men out there that would love to give you the kind of life you deserve.
2006-11-08 14:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If their grown does it matter...I mean shouldn't you be more concerned about your happiness....Don't give in...if you're not comfortable with his extra curricular activities...put yourself first...
2006-11-08 14:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋